


Onyx and Honey

by sagemodequeen



Category: Naruto
Genre: 4 Tails Rampage, Accidental Voyeurism, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Arranged Marriage, BAMF Tsunade (Naruto), Bisexuality, Child Abuse, Dialogue Heavy, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, F/M, Finger Sucking, Flashbacks, Fluff, Flying Raijin Jutsu, Friends to Lovers, Hand Jobs, Hot Springs & Onsen, Idiots in Love, M/M, Multi, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Praise Kink, Recreational Drug Use, Slow Burn, Teasing, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Voyeurism, medical ninjutsu, misuse of shadow clones
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-14
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:48:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 59,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23138737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sagemodequeen/pseuds/sagemodequeen
Summary: Jiraiya is gravely injured after weakening the seal of the Nine Tails. Tsunade leaves her post as Hokage to save him. She's healed Jiraiya countless times over several decades. Yet, none of those times seized her heart in fear this badly.A story of their lives as shinobi, teenagers, young lovers, and eventually village leaders.
Relationships: Jiraiya/Tsunade (Naruto)
Comments: 43
Kudos: 164





	1. Daybreak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jiraiya pov

I gazed out at the rain falling densely over the foggy village from my seat on the balcony. Dawn slowly arrives, bringing with it a harmonic silence. My soul picked up on the sounds that my ears could not. The blanket of indigo that covered the sky with bold radiance slowly brightened to the rainbow's warmer shades. Hues of magenta and amber slowly started to drown out the glistening beams of stars. A new day had come, new possibilities, a fresh page yet to be written.

Despite that, my calligraphy supplies sat on the table beside me, long discarded. Naruto lay in an exhausted heap in the middle of the room on the other side of the sliding door. He'd been slumbering for an entire day, with no signs of waking up anytime soon. I crane my head to check on him through the screen door, my tea spilling a little onto the silk of my deep blue yukata.

This was generally the ideal time of day to work on my novel, without any irritating outbursts from the raspy-voiced brat to key me up. However, this entire time I've been unable to bring myself to write a single word- even with Naruto being completely asleep. I sighed heavily.

"Well, you _have_ been slacking on your research lately," I contemplate, swallowing down my cold tea. _That's not it and you know it._ I winced, gulping thickly.

I purposely disregard my inner voice.

"It's not _motivation_ you're struggling with," I grunt out as I willed my hand to set my cup of tea on the table. I glanced down at it dumbly, fiercely trying to ignore the agony shooting through my body at such a simple movement. "It is _inspiration_ you lack!"

My arm erupted in pain, shattering the teacup to the floor. _Stop this now. Swallow your pride and ask for help._

I reached over to grab my brush and ink, stabbing pain shooting from the center of my chest to both arms. I grit my teeth, saliva sputtering from my lips as I strain myself to write symbols to paper. The tension in my hands causes the brush to snap in my grasp. The broken pieces clatter to the floor, the sound mostly drowned out by the torrential downpour outside. Spilled ink mixed with tea on the ground of the patio. "Fuck," I bit out in frustration. I tried to reach for a new brush, but I overextended myself. The flimsy patio chair buckled beneath my weight. I crashed to the ground, howling in unbelievable pain.

"Fool! You have no choice," I sighed, using the blood still seeping from the wound on my chest to perform the Summoning Jutsu.

Kōsuke appeared before me in a puff of smoke, sitting obediently on the ground by my head as he awaited my orders. He was a small messenger toad, with red skin and blue markings around the eyes and a pair of green goggles that hung loosely around his neck. He had always been my favorite messenger because of his speed and the fact that he never complained. "Jiraiya," he nodded amicably. I shut my eyes, exhaling from my nose shakily while I tried to gather my thoughts. "You're injured," Kōsuke pointed out in concern. "What's happened?"

"I need you to convey a message to Lady Hokage."

The small toad scratched his brow. "The Hidden Leaf isn't exactly close by, boss. Shouldn't you send me to the nearest hospital or something? Or maybe even the front desk of the inn?"

I shook my head, attempting to disregard the agony I feel from merely being in motion. "My wound isn't an ordinary one. I received it at the hands of the Nine Tails; I'll need a seasoned healer, and she may know of one."

Kōsuke nodded. "How exactly do you want me to relay this to Lady Fifth?"

"I was injured after weakening the seal to the Nine Tails during Naruto's training. The demon spirit instantly possessed him, causing four tails to sprout right away. Neither of us has received any medical treatment. Naruto has been unconscious since the moment I subdued him. We are in the Hinagiku Room at the Tanpopo Inn, south of the Land of Waves. Ask her if she knows of any healers nearby that she could send our way. It's been over 24 hours, and I haven't been able to contact any staff since I dragged Naruto back to the inn. I am completely unable to move."

"Will that be all, Master Jiraiya?"

"Yes."

Kōsuke disappeared. I knew he wouldn't be long using the Transportation Technique. Tsunade would certainly spring into action if she knew Naruto's safety was at stake. Not five minutes had passed when Kōsuke appeared again.

"My lady asks if you can move well enough to place a jutsu formula somewhere in this area."

"A jutsu formula? What are her plans?" This was the last thing I would've expected her to ask of me. Was she physically sending someone here?

"I am not aware of her plans, Master. She said help will be on the way if you can put a seal on your location." _Who is she sending? Could it be a student of hers, maybe? A healer she knows from the Mist, possibly one of Lady Mizukage's people?_ I placed a seal on the ground next to me, the symbols glowing blue and shimmering with my chakra. "I need to go back to her and tell her the seal has been placed. Is there anything else I should pass on?"

"Only my gratitude." _Shit, maybe I should ask for her mercy as well..._

Kōsuke bowed. "Will do, master."

And he's gone.

The rain continued to fall slowly. I concentrated on my breathing, which burned with each ragged breath. Naruto's claws had slashed my chest to bloody ribbons. It had taken every ounce of strength I possessed to hold him down and place the seal on his forehead. By the time I had finished towing him back to our room, I could scarcely move my arms. I was still running on pure adrenaline when I attempted to clean the angry wound in the bathroom. But I didn't have anything large enough to cover it with. I decided to throw on my robe, which ended up being a big mistake. All of that blood dried, cementing the silk to the skin of my chest painfully.

I didn't even try to move from the patio's ground, laying there on my back and listening to the rainfall. Regret and shame washed over me, cutting deeper than the claws of the Nine Tails. _A teacher should never forfeit control._ I could've died, endangering the life of a precious student and the lives of an entire village.

A sudden gust of wind and leaves washed over me, blowing my thick hair all around me. I shivered.

"I'll bet Tsunade is pissed," I whimpered pathetically, shame coloring my tone. A familiar aroma of amazon lilies cut through the scent of the rain. My breath hitched in my throat.

"You'd be right, Baka," whispered the soft voice of someone next to me. I would've recognized that velvety, irritated tone anywhere. I tried to sit up, but could only manage to lift my chin. Tsunade was on her knees at my side, her blonde pigtails falling forward as she hunched over my body. Her soft hair tickled my skin, and I shuddered.

" _Tsunade_ ," I breathed, my voice choking with emotion. Her eyes hurried up and down my body, assessing me with worry. We were still Jōnin the last time I remembered seeing such a look in those honey eyes. I broke down under her gaze. "Tsunade, I'm so sorry," I sobbed, unable to stop the fat hot tears rolling down the red markings on my face. "I lost control and put my grandson in danger. So many others could have been hurt, too. You had to leave your post because I overestimated my own abilities. I'm so sorry," I whispered the last part brokenly.

I fully expected her wrath. Deserved it, even.

Instead, I felt her soft hand grasp my cheek. A red-nailed thumb swiped away a plump tear. "Sshh… Jiraiya. I'm going to make everything better," she promised, stroking the white hair stuck to my sweaty forehead out of my face. I wanted to ask her how in the world she got here so fast, but everything suddenly became fuzzy and hard to make out. My eyesight blurred, but not from the tears. I could no longer see Tsunade's face above me.

The feeling in my body drained away until finally, all was black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i should be sleeping instead of writing this. thank you for reading <3


	2. Bloody Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsunade makes an impossible choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tsunade pov

The light rain showering the village finished at last. Off in the distance, I could see apricot mountains, kissed to their blush by the sunlight. Blanketing the sky was soft, rippling clouds that drifted in shoals. After the rain, the sky was equal parts azure with an ensemble of grays and oranges. The heavens directly above the Hokage Stone Faces were streaked with tangerine, silver, and rose. The scene was undeniably breathtaking. _Nice to see that ugly rain finally gone, too._

I heard the door opening behind me, but I didn't leave my spot as I lingered by the window. I didn't need to turn around to know the chakra signature from behind me belonged to the Chūnin, Shikamaru Nara. He sauntered over, his hands stuffed in the pockets of his flak jacket as he casually observed the view from alongside me.

"I enjoy the clouds, too," Shikamaru muttered quietly. Dazzling rays of light were amongst brilliant hues of white, and the clouds waved in ripples across the expanse of the sky.

"The clouds are nice, I guess. I'm just happy the stupid sun is back," I chuckled to myself. I watched a flock of birds land on the stone face of my grandfather, the First Hokage.

He nodded slightly, the smallest smile tugging on the corner of his lips. Shikamaru pulled a little scroll from one of his pockets. "Mission report and summary, Lady Fifth." He grunted with a nod as if trying not to take up any more of my time. It's hard for me not to appreciate that about him, considering I'm always so busy. At the moment, though, I didn't want Shikamaru to leave so soon. I enjoyed having him around. The only company I ever really get was Shizune, and all she did was tell me to get back to work.

"Go ahead and add it to the rest," I murmur, forlorn at the never-ending workload ahead of me. "Cherish your day off, young Nara." _Lucky little shit._

I looked over at him when I noticed he made no move to leave. He just kept gazing out the window, smirking. "The rain must really bum you out, huh?" This kid is perceptive, but something tells me my sour mood is especially apparent at the moment.

"It does, actually," I griped. I'd never been adept when it came to hiding my emotions anyway. Maybe it's a good thing I quit gambling, after all. "Rain will always remind me of the war. I was just a little older than you are now." _You're beginning to sound like old man Sarutobi-sensei._

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow, visibly interested at the mention of war. He crossed his arms. "Which one, the third one?"

I rolled my eyes, shaking my head.

"The _Second_ Shinobi World War." _Way to make me feel old, kid._ He smirked, and I knew he was messing with me. "I should flick you between the eyes for that," I giggled, winking at him. But I was more than satisfied with the flash of fear now present in Shikamaru's wide eyes.

"I haven't heard much about that one. What… happened?" It's not every day that you see the infamously lazy Shikamaru Nara _curious_ about something. I thought back to that awful time. The bitter cold with raindrops beating down on you so hard, it caused crippling headaches. Blood mixing with puddles of water across a battlefield littered with corpses. Thick mud squelching beneath your boots with every labored step. I could clearly hear the screams of dying ninja. Frantic shrieks from men and women I couldn't save quickly enough. Screeching howls from enemies who forced my hand, giving me no choice but to kill. Hot, sticky blood on your hands. _Blood that won't wash away, no matter how long you stood in the rain._ I started fidgeting with the lining of my grass green kimono, trying to will away the grisly past.

I decided to omit the more colorful details and go with a more "Academy-friendly" description. It was not because I wanted to sugar coat things, but I couldn't bear to share those thoughts with Shikamaru at the moment. "The First Shinobi World War started with a clash over wealth disparities and ended with an armistice treaty. The war left the Five Great Nations disabled critically. Still, there was relative peace for about twenty years. But the nations began to form factions, and under the pretext of expending legitimate rights, the countries started using military force to expand their territories. Thus, the second war started." I sighed deeply. "My team was stationed in the Hidden Rain Village for almost the entirety of the war. We battled for years under the never-ending downpour. Even though it was severely hard on us all, the rain reminds me of the last time all my friends were together." The realization cuts me deeper than a glowing chakra blade. "I _really_ miss them," I admit before I can even stop myself.

Shikamaru looked genuinely surprised at the admission. _Shit. Why would you mention missing someone like Orochimaru to a subordinate?_

"I feel for you, Lady Tsunade." he uttered, deep in thought. He seems like the type to get uncomfortable in regards to the concept of human emotion. However, I don't feel him judging me for sharing my feelings. "It's been a long time since I've seen Naruto. I'm sure in no time you'll see Lord Jiraiya again, too." This Nara kid is too smart for his own good.

Shizune swiftly entered my office, a tray of tea in her hands. "Shikamaru," she greeted warmly. "Join us for some tea." He nodded, eyes glued again to the view outside.

Suddenly, a small figure materialized behind us. A red messenger toad, Kōsuke, appeared on top of the mountain of paperwork on my desk.

_Jiraiya._

"Lady Hokage!" His usual calm demeanor replaced with barely concealed panic. _Fuck, what now?_

"Yes?!" My gut clenched anxiety setting in. Kōsuke visits me when Jiraiya needs to update me on mission progress over great distances. His messenger has never been this frenzied and alarmed. Dread creeps over me like an icy chill, numbing my brain. In this frozen state, my mind offers me only one thought. _Please let my grandson be safe._

"Master Jiraiya and Naruto are in trouble."

My stomach is full of lead; my feet set in concrete, my mind worryingly empty. Shizune and Shikamaru were both visibly shocked and silent, waiting for more information. I do my best to maintain some composure. "What's happened? Where are they?"

"The Land of Waves, at an inn. They're in the middle of a nasty storm. I don't even think Jiraiya realized that most of the village has evacuated at this point." I gave him a pleading look, in need of more details. "Naruto lost control of the Nine Tails. He's calmed, but he's yet to regain consciousness."

"And Jiraiya?"

"Jiraiya is badly hurt. He's conscious but delirious. He can't move. The wound is grave; if he doesn't receive aid soon, I'm afraid he doesn't have much time."

 _Breathe, Tsunade. Breathe._ This fear is my challenge, and my demon to slay, for it will come until I do, unannounced and gruesome. The only way out is to order this brain to function and demand solutions instead of drowning in a whirlpool of hysteria.

I remembered back to a time after the third war. I had long abandoned the life of a shinobi and even as a healer, spending most of my time training Dan's niece, a young Shizune. It wasn't long before I cut ties with the village altogether, dedicating my life to sake and gambling with a younger Shizune at my side. Jiraiya's student had become a war hero, Sarutobi-sensei dubbing him the Fourth Hokage when he returned home from battle. Jiraiya told me his student, Minato Namikaze, won the war with a jutsu he perfected, created by my grandfather's brother, the Second Hokage. _The Flying Raijin Jutsu._ Minato could randomly appear behind enemy lines and, seemingly, be in many places at once, wiping out whole squadrons before they any had time to react. It earned him the moniker "the Yellow Flash", being able to teleport to any position from any distance with the simple throw of a kunai bearing a jutsu formula.

And from my understanding, Minato passed on this jutsu to the elite bodyguards of the Hokage. The two Jōnin, Genma Shiranui, and Raidō Namiashi. And Iwashi Tatami, the Chūnin.

"Shikamaru!" I shout, formulating a plan in my head. He stood at attention, waiting for my orders. "Run to the front gate as fast as you can. Genma and Raidō should be on gate duty. They are to report to me at once."

He nodded. "I can take their place at their post until I'm no longer needed," I nodded curtly, hoping he understood how grateful I was. Shikamaru opened the window and jumped, sprinting from rooftop to rooftop toward the direction of the village entrance.

I bit my thumb, using the blood dripping freely to summon Lady Katsuyu. She came into view immediately. Her soft-mannered greeting was quickly drowned out by my commands. "I need you to bring me Iwashi Tatami at once. Jiraiya's life depends on it!" Iwashi had just returned from that diplomatic mission with Shikamaru; it felt safe for me to assume that he went straight home. Either way, Katsuyu would be able to sense his chakra and find his location with ease. She gasped and disappeared instantly.

"Kōsuke, is Jiraiya able to seal a jutsu formula at his location?"

"I can ask and return immediately."

"Please do."

He disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"What do you need from those three?" Shizune implored, her expression tense with worry.

"I've been told the three of them as a group can perform the Flying Raijin Jutsu. They are going to bring me to the Land of Waves."

Shizune took a step back, mouth hanging open in shock. "I understand this is an emergency, but can't you send me instead?"

I looked down, shaking my head. "If the Nine Tails wounded him, I'm afraid that I'm the only one who can heal him." I opened the large drawer in my desk, rummaging through its contents for my supplies. "You are my _most_ talented student, dear. But my grandmother was the first jinchuriki of the Nine Tails. I've seen and heard of all the different ways it can hurt you. And if Jiraiya can't even move... It's more severe than you know." I pulled a scroll wedged behind my sake stash in the bottom drawer. Sealed inside the scroll was everything I would need for emergency surgery. I looked at Shizune to see her panicked expression.

"How will I be able to explain to everyone that the Hokage isn't here?"

Kōsuke reappeared. "Jiraiya's technique seal has been placed." _Thank the Gods._

"We can't, Shizune." I continued, answering her question. "What I'm doing is considered desertion, at least in the eyes of Danzō and the other village elders. It's also insanely risky given my high position. But Jiraiya is currently our most valuable asset to this village. I must be the one to do this." _You're smart enough to know when I'm being selfish, but please, do not stop me._ I pleaded with her internally.

Shizune exhaled a long, shaky breath. "What do you need me to do?"

"The two of us are going to transform into each other. I need those three thinking they're teleporting _you_. You stay here and act as Hokage until I return. Give me two days, at most. If anything happens at all, summon Katsuyu and send her directly to me." I look into the deep brown eyes of my apprentice, who looks terrified of this plan. "Can I trust you to be my decoy?"

"I will do it, Lady Tsunade." Her hands formed the signs. Dog, boar, ram. She transformed, copying my likeness perfectly. My grandfather's necklace shimmered against her newly-acquired bosoms, catching my eye. _Well, almost perfectly._

"Shizune, that's Naruto's necklace now. Remember?"

She looked down and yelped, making it disappear. "I promise I'll do better!"

The sound of the door beginning to turn sent ice through my veins. I quickly transformed into Shizune and grabbed my med scroll. Raidō, Genma, and Iwashi entered my office. Shizune, talking in my voice, wasted no time drilling out their orders. "Men! It's imperative you three use the Flying Raijin to send Shizune to heal Master Jiraiya and Naruto. The seal is on Jiraiya, do it _now_!" I tried to ignore how strange my voice sounded to my own ears when shouting demands at subordinates.

" _Yes, ma'am_!" All three shouted before advancing toward me.

I placed another jutsu formula on the floor of my office so the boys will be able to teleport back without trouble. The three shinobi circled me in a triangle formation, each of their hands extended to each other to form the hand sign needed to complete the Flying Raijin.

"Sorry for the close quarters, Lady Shizune. Instantaneous travel among dimensions can be a little tricky," Raidō said sheepishly, his eyes trained on the skin of my neck. Well, Shizune's neck.

"I don't care about that, just _get_ _moving_!" I barked. _Shizune wouldn't snap like that, get it together!_ My elite guards sprung into action, gathering their chakra and inserting us into a dimensional void with the sudden whoosh of wind.

The sound of cracking thunder nearly made me jump. We had instantly teleported to the Land of Waves, a great distance away from the Leaf. A storm was in progress as the sun rose, about half of its beauty obscured by thick gray clouds. I looked down to see Jiraiya lying by my feet, unmoving. There was a giant purple-ish brown stain on the front of his blue yakata. It seemed to be dried blood from his wound.

The other shinobi gave me space as I fell to my knees at his side. They looked back and forth between Jiraiya and me, concern etched in each pair of eyes. I nodded, excusing them. I felt another whoosh of air as they left me here with my old teammate. I ended the transformation at this point, no longer needing Shizune's form.

"I'll bet Tsunade is pissed," I heard him choke out quietly. Then suddenly, I heard a sharp intake of breath, as though he suddenly sensed my presence.

"You'd be right, Baka," I whispered. His eyes shot open, and his body jolted. He lifted his chin in my direction and shivered when our eyes made contact. Two onyx eyes locked with mine. The guilt and sorrow present in those dark depths nearly drowned me along with him.

" _Tsunade_ ," he sobbed. Deep, anguished cries started racking his massive frame. _He hasn't cried in front of you since you nearly pounded him to his death_. My chest squeezed painfully at the sight of his tears. I tried not to focus on them as I assessed the rest of his body for damage. "Tsunade, I'm so sorry," he continued, his voice a broken whisper. "I lost control and put my grandson in danger. So many others could have been hurt, too. You had to leave your post because I overestimated my own abilities. I'm so sorry," he sobbed, his voice cracking slightly on a whimper. I could only imagine the sheer amount of guilt weighing down on those big shoulders. _He thinks of Naruto as his grandson, just like you do._ Wetness leaked from my eyes, tears falling freely before I could even try to stop them. Watching Jiraiya, the embodiment of unwavering strength, fall apart before my eyes was harrowing. He may seem carefree and breezy most of the time, but he was born with the heart of a true shinobi. He always took his perceived failures so hard. _Nothing much has changed since we were young, I suppose._

It gave me the encouragement I needed to take away all of his hurt, to ease his bitter doubts, and prove to him that he is _worth_ it. My hand moved on its own accord, stroking the soft skin where the red markings of his clan placed long ago. I couldn't stop my fingers from caressing the sharp outline of his jaw. He shuddered at the touch of my thumbs wiping away wet tears. "Sshh… Jiraiya." I crooned, trying to calm him. I stroked the soft white hair that was falling in his face, threading my fingertips through his scalp. I tried to think of something to say, anything that could alleviate his sadness. "Sshh… I'm going to make _everything_ better." I whispered, my breath fanning over his face. _It's been so long since I've said those words to him._

Jiraiya suddenly passed out, his eyes rolling back into his head at my promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ive already started chapter 3, should be up soon my lovies


	3. Faith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jiraiya’s life is slipping away. Tsunade refuses to let the Nine Tails take the life of another irreplaceable shinobi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tsunade pov

I had no choice but to summon Lady Katsuyu to the ryokan's patio to assist me in getting Jiraiya out of the rain. Under normal circumstances, lifting and carrying his massive body was no sweat, with or without my chakra-enhanced strength. But I ultimately decided against it, making an effort to avoid injuring him further by lifting him unnecessarily. My slug summon divided herself into about two dozen smaller clones, surrounding Jiraiya and slowly dragging his hulking body inside. A string of paper lanterns above framed the patio's entrance, catching my eye as I walked toward the sliding door. The light pink paper of the lights gave off a pleasant rosy glow, a sharp contrast to the gloomy morning storm behind me.

Inside, the walls of the washitsu were adorned with elaborate paintings of summer daisies, some framed and some done on rice paper. Effortlessly illustrated kanji are scattered amongst the rest of the art. The symbols natsu 夏 (summer) and hinagiku 雛菊 (daisies) embellished the bottom of an impressive mural at the back wall of the room. The heart of the illustrated scene showcased a cluster of large asters-those tall, giant daisies- the ends of their white petals blushed pink. Teardrop petals of sun-burnt orange spread out like ornate _uchiwa_. To the end of each petal, the orange hue deepened to such intensity that it became almost crimson. The center of the flowers, tiny and yellow in their perfect circle, was a lone bee. The painting perfectly captured the translucence of the bee's wings as they rested against its small body.

The kotatsu that sat in the middle of the room was covered with daisy petals and full flowers. Some were arranged in a garland over the big table. I've always thought of hinagiku as simple white flowers, no larger than coins, like the ones that dust the green field of the Leaf Village Cemetery. These are anything but. Each bloom is a glorious shade: shocking magenta, sherbet-orange, or a yellow brilliant enough to rival the summer sun. Their thick green stems are woven at the back into something close to a perfect crown. It was a somewhat wilted crown, but still gorgeous.

Naruto was out cold, laying on a futon off to the side on the tatami floor, a floral blanket tucked up to his chin. There were old bloody handprints among the printed flowers on the blanket enveloping him. It looked as though Jiraiya had maybe tucked in Naruto while he was still bleeding heavily from his wound. I placed my hand on my grandson's sweaty, feverish forehead. His skin was running hot; enough to kill an average person with the fever. "Shit," I curse out loud. Lifting the blanket, I inspect his body for broken bones and other trauma. Naruto looked banged up, but otherwise totally fine.

I stretched my arm to the right to open another sliding door, noticing there was a nearly empty room on the other side. _You should operate here._

So it was decided.

I kicked an unused futon to the corner and snagged my med scroll, unfurling it across the ryokan floor. My supplies materialized into the room abruptly, practically filling it to the brim with its contents. Lady Katsuyu steadily crept to my operating table with Jiraiya on her back, lightly jostling him with slow, measured movements. Katsuyu deliberately began to morph into one form while still clutching the man in her grasp, ballooning in size until she was able to gently place Jiraiya on the metal surface. Trays of surgical tools surrounding her jingled when her great body slightly nudged them during her transformation. The operating table seemed barely able to accommodate the toad sage's gargantuan body.

"I need you to put Naruto in one of those hospital beds while I prepare hot water and medicinal fluid for the procedure." Katsuyu makes her way into the other room as quickly as her body will move her. "There is already an IV ready for him. I don't think there is much else we can do but give him fluids and wait for him to come to."

"Yes, my lady," she calls from the other room.

I submerge a rag into a basin of warm water and place it in the middle of Jiraiya's chest, hoping to unstick the fabric of his yukata from his open chest wound. Once I could see that Naruto is in the hospital bed on the opposite side of the room, I run over to quickly stick him with an IV so that his fever could eventually come down. I smoothed his unruly blonde hair back, eyeing the green crystal necklace resting above his heart. _Now, all we can do for Naruto is wait. I'm sure he'll be okay._

However, Jiraiya was another story.

Even as an accomplished medical ninja, what I saw when I undid the obi of his robe unnerved me to my core. Bubbling, blood orange chakra emanated from a deep, six-pronged lesion in the center of his chest. The chakra of the tailed beast was festering in the wound, blackening the exposed muscle from within. In almost 50 years of healing, I'd never seen anything like _this_. The physical trauma of his injury was vicious enough, but that demon chakra was seriously troubling. It seemed to be almost _cooking_ Jiraiya from the inside. The putrid stench of seared flesh made we want to gag, but I did my best to maintain my bearings.

Lady Katsuyu gasped at the sight. "I've never seen Bijouu chakra do this to a person before."

"The claws of the Kyuubi have done grievous damage to his chakra pathway system. The Nine Tails chakra needs to be extracted before it eliminates Jiraiya's ability to gather chakra altogether. There is already slight damage to several of his organs due to their proximity to the pathway system." The chakra pathway system is enmeshed into the body, like blood vessels. It touches and interacts with every single living cell and passes through every organ. My sensory abilities told me there was a great disturbance to Jiraiya's chakra; it was actually a miracle he was even able to call for help in the first place. My eyes fixated on the comatose body of my close friend. I was astonished by Jiraiya's power and ability to endure.

I turned to Lady Katsuyu, who was on the ground by my feet. "Thank you for your help. But I need you to take your leave at the moment. Shizune will have to send for you in case she needs to give me any updates on the Leaf."

"Of course, my lady. I shall see both you and Lord Jiraiya soon." She departed with a puff of smoke.

The most critical task at hand was putting an end to the evil chakra devouring Jiraiya's internal energy. I contemplated my next move as I stared at the chakra scalpel placed on the tray of surgical tools next to me. The only way I could operate safely is if I somehow extracted Kurama's chakra from the affected area. The Delicate Illness Extraction Technique is already a dangerous procedure when used for its intended purpose, poison. Adding this mess with the tailed beast in the mix only guarantees unpredictability.

When a person has been afflicted by a pathogen or toxin, this extraction technique can be used to draw out the agent and heal the damage. The cause of the illness is first determined by perceiving disturbances in the patient's chakra. Then, using a chakra scalpel, an incision is made near the injured section. I will have to use my own chakra to push a large volume of the medicinal fluid through the incision. The liquid then draws the poison out of the affected area and serves as a medium through which it is suspended and then forced out of the person's body. This healing technique thus removes the poison while simultaneously repairing the damage caused by it. The process is excruciating and requires the subject to be restrained for the process to even work. As such, it is considered a rather crude method to deal with pathogens and toxins and only ever used in an emergency. The problem with it is that it can't draw out all of the poison, only most of it, so the subject can potentially still be in danger, albeit not immediate. _Part of the Nine Tail_ ' _s chakra will always remain inside Jiraiya after this._

The technique requires the utmost care and ability in diagnosis, incising, and unmatched chakra control. Luckily for Baka, this is right up my alley. I was behind the creation of this risky method, after all.

_You're the perfect gal for this job._

I sliced along the side of the laceration underneath Jiraiya's collarbone, not wanting to start in the center where most of the chakra was concentrated. I focused my own chakra and let it flow into the incision, along with the gelatinous orb of medicinal fluid concentrated in the palm of my hand. "Stay with me, Jiraiya," I pleaded. The moment Nine Tail's chakra sucked up into the fluid in my hand, a gut-wrenching wail of pain shattered the room's silence.

And it came from _me_.

Heinous, bitter chakra melded with my own as I siphoned it out of his motionless body. The feeling was just as excruciating as I expected, only I assumed it would be Jiraiya experiencing it, rather than me. The process of this technique always caused the subject pain, not the healer. It felt like I was injecting magma into my very own veins. But it was much more than that. Hostile, choking fury invaded my body in a sudden frenzy, making me foam at the mouth and bare my teeth as blinding rage and searing pain took over. I attempted to ride out the torment as best as possible, watching Jiraiya's face as my body shook against his. Despite that, I never ceased the action of filling his body with my chakra, while sucking out the corruption, collecting it in the fluid before discarding it. I was unable to suppress the piercing cries ripping through me.

Jiraiya's eyes suddenly snapped open, his skin glistening with cold sweat. His body trembled with fear, wide frantic eyes fixated on me in absolute horror.

" _Tsunade_!" Jiraiya roared, raw panic ravaging his deep, throaty voice. I was in no shape to even respond; I could only shriek his name in agony while I repeated my healing method in a different area of his chest. His expression was rigid with terror as he watched me extract the beast chakra. He didn't appear to be in any pain. If anything, the more chakra I withdrew, the more his breathing improved. The only one in distress seemed to be me. Hatred was cooking me from the inside, reminding me of every bitter defeat and crushing loss I'd received. It was unthinkable for me to allow my chakra to be tainted by the force of hate. But I didn't falter, even as Jiraiya begged me to quit.

Jiraiya was able to move after I'd removed at least half of it. He seized one of my wrists tightly in his grip, holding me in place while he begged me to stop hurting myself for him. I momentarily lost myself, snarling at him and wrapping my free hand around his throat. I tried to regain my bearings because choking the life out of my highest ranking ninja while trying to save his life was never the plan. I didn't come all this way just to end him like that. _Pull yourself together! This is just Granny Mito's chakra. She was strong enough to endure this. You must try._

His name left my lips with another high-pitched scream. " _Jiraiya_!" I sobbed, loosening my grip on his throat. I broke down as the pain from absorbing the bulk of the chakra in the center of his chest nearly caused me to blackout with its sheer intensity. The more I excised from his chest, the more I felt it gush into me instead. The beast chakra was trapped in the fluid the entire time, and yet it affected me as if it were invading my own body.

I never stopped. The further I repeated this process, the better Jiraiya looked. The exposed muscles and tendons that had been blackened by the Nine Tails restored to their healthy natural state, before being covered in pink tissues and fat cells. I pulled more muscle back together with my medical ninjutsu, willing everything to come together once again. My breathing started to even out by the time Jiraiya's chest was no longer glowing orange.

"Tsunade," my name left his lips in a breathy whisper, like a prayer. Its effect on me was astronomical. "You came for _me_ ," he whispered, wonder coloring the gentle tone of his voice.

My tiredness makes me hang limp like wet laundry on a frigidly cold day. I feel every muscle give into gravity as I fall into Jiraiya's arms. What I want is sleep, a nice warm bed, and a solid night of dreams.

"Of course I came, _dummy_. I'm the best you got," I wheezed, trying to seem playful while I struggled for air. I pressed my chest to his side, hugging Jiraiya tightly against me. "I'm not gonna let grandma's mean old fox get you," I let out a raspy laugh as I wipe the sweat from my brow on his shoulder. Jiraiya's chest rumbled with a hearty laugh while I slumped over, unable to support the weight of my upper body. I felt his muscular arms wrap around my shoulders weakly as he pressed his cheek to the top of my head. The walls I've painstakingly built around me crumble to dust, the weight of this ordeal came crashing down upon me at once.

Unbidden tears burst forth like water from a dam, spilling down my face. I feel the muscles of my chin tremble like a small child's as I peer up to see the devotion in Jiraiya's eyes. There is static in my head once more, the side effect of this constant fear and stress I live with. I hear my own sounds, like a traumatized little girl, raw from the inside. It takes something out of me I didn't know I had left to give. It's like a theft of the spirit, an injury no other person can see. "I thought I was going to lose you!" I bawled into the skin of his neck. His arms tightened around me in response, breath hitching slightly.

Jiraiya's turned his head, lightly grazing his lips against my ear before pulling back slightly.

"Do you remember when our village was attacked by rogue ninja from the Mist right before we graduated from the Academy? After the war?" Jiraiya asked, stroking my back softly as I buried my face into the skin of his shoulder. His tanned skin was still slick with sweat, but I inhaled his scent chiefly. "They attempted to abduct you and Lady Uzumaki," he continued, and I couldn't help but wonder where he was going with this.

"Yes…?" I trailed off. "Grandpa wasn't home… he was in the Hidden Cloud selling the Two Tails and the Eight Tails to the First Raikage," I thought of just how long ago that'd been. The First Shinobi World War started not long after the system of one shinobi village per country was established by Konoha's founding after the Warring States Period. A few years after the war had ended, to maintain a balance of power, Grandpa divided the tailed beasts among the other five major villages when he began his talks of peace with them. It had been the first time since the war that Hashirama had needed to leave town for longer than a fortnight. A lone group of rogue ninja mistakenly decided to take advantage of his absence and strike down against the Leaf. While they had been fools to do so, the five shinobi each had possessed formidable skill.

"It was my first ever battle with a real enemy. How could I not remember?" I lifted my head to look down at the burly white-haired man. "Why are we even talking about this right now? I should be stitching you up!" I ran my palms along his collarbone.

He chuckled and ignored my last question, pulling me back down to his chest roughly.

"My mom and dad were on a mission, so I stayed with Sakumo Hatake and Lord Katsu at their compound until my parents returned." Jiraiya continued. From what I could remember, The Hatake Clan complex was northwest of the gate, the closest clan housing area to the Senju Clan compound. "I was in bed when I felt an explosion from nearby. I sprinted to your compound as fast as my feet could take me. From across the way, I could see you, a little girl-holding your own against several Jōnin level ninja. Your taijutsu skills even then were quite imposing, but ultimately you were cornered by the enemy." I hadn't thought about being trapped in their Water Prison Jutsu for decades, but Jiraiya's words brought me back to that frightening moment. "I was terrified you were going to drown before my very eyes. I couldn't understand why Lord Second wasn't there, or at the very least, sending reinforcements. When I spotted your grandmother, though, it became apparent that reinforcements simply weren't _needed_."

He was right, too. Granny Mito single-handedly assassinated every one of them, using the powers she could call on as a jinchuuriki to take them out one by one. Mito Uzumaki was the jinchuuriki of the Leaf, the village bodyguard. She made quick work of the rogue ninja, saving my life and anyone else seen as collateral to the enemy. "Is there a point in any of this, Jiraiya?" He nodded, smirking down at me.

"At the time, Lady Uzumaki was the most fearsome and awe-inspiring being I'd ever laid eyes on. I was stunned; witnessing the sheer amount of strength she possessed rendered me absolutely speechless." I felt one of the heavy arms around me move as a hand grasped my chin, glittering obsidian eyes zeroing in on my own.

Pride beamed clearly from the tender look he gave me. "I just can't help but think she's passed on all of her fiery courage to the lovely woman in my arms," he murmured smoothly. "I am not the least bit surprised, though. I've never once lost faith in my Hime."

I couldn't hold in my gasp, my breath hitching in my throat at his words.

"Baka-chan," I whispered, crushing my lips to the perfect line of his jaw, the thick muscle moving underneath my skin as he grinned against my lips. _He's still here. You didn't lose him._

His shuddering sigh as my lips met his skin will replay in my head until the end of time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for being patient with me! i had soooo much fun writing this chapter. i once read somewhere that daisies symbolize faith, and i felt compelled to incorporate that in this somehow. anyway, feel free to let me know what you think in the comments! more is on the way!


	4. Amazon Lily

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jiraiya fights an internal battle with himself while reminiscing on their younger years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i want to thank you readers for your patience. this caronavirus business caused me to lose my job, so at least updates from now on will be more regular. now i have nothing to do but write! anyway, this is jiraiya's pervy pov. it was a blast to write and i hope you enjoy. :)

Tsunade's warm breath against the skin of my neck grounded me back to the real world. She wiped her face on my bare shoulder, skin wet with tears and sweat after being forced into this grisly ordeal. Exhaustion radiated off her body in harsh waves as she clung to my chest, her legs buckling as she leaned against the operating table's side. Every breath she took was ragged and uneven. Although the residual chakra still left in my blood is like a leech in my cranium, sucking my ability to keep my eyes open and my brain switched on. _This is all your fault_. The world before me blurs like a painting caught in the rain too soon. It was a struggle, but I did my best to familiarize myself with my surroundings.

I'm humiliated for subjecting her to this nightmare. She may be my former teammate and lifelong friend, but now she is my Hokage, too. Tsunade may not see it that way, but this is simply our reality. And if the Hokage can't rely on me to accomplish my mission, what good even am I as a shinobi? After all she's been through, Tsunade doesn't deserve failures and near-death-experiences. She had put her faith in me, that I was capable of handling my grandson's power.

But instead, she has to clean up someone else's mess, just like she always does. Torturing herself to save someone like _me_. In nearly half a century, I don't think I've ever seen Tsunade in such excruciating physical torment. I regained my consciousness in time to witness her become absolutely _feral_ with agony. Her eyes were screwed shut, and the violet diamond seal on her forehead vanished. In its place were the thick, ribbon-like markings that criss-cross down her face or her entire body whenever the seal is broken. This is an ability of hers I'm familiar with; she uses it to access that colossal supply of chakra she has hidden away for whatever the situation calls for. These markings are always black, but as she pulled the Kyuubi's chakra from the area I had been mauled, it altered the bold marks on her skin to a shade of blood orange. I couldn't contain my cries of terror, and when she finally opened her eyes, the ones staring back at me were not Tsunade's.

But the red, demon fox eyes of the Nine Tails.

She attacked me, but I still hissed her name, attempting to bring her back to the present. I don't think she even realized it, but the reason she was in so much pain was her inability to discard the chakra after pulling it from my body. It might not be possible to even do, I don't know. _I'm not a medical ninja._ I'm guessing she was only removing the corruption of the wound, and in fact, _absorbing_ the Kyuubi's chakra, melding it with her own. When my wound was relatively healed, the orange marks reverted back into the seal on her forehead. Instead of a violet diamond, though, her Strength of a Hundred seal had mutated to a vibrant orange shade. I don't know jack shit about what that means, but I think it's safe to say that Tsunade has just powered up considerably. _Maybe I should bring this to her attention?_

But the spine-chilling spectacle gave me a severe case of déjà vu. I mentioned a time when we're little kids, and her grandmother transformed using Kyuubi's power to protect the village. Lady Uzumaki was so fierce and mighty, her battle style effortlessly graceful, while at the same time savagely unhinged. Excluding the crimson locks –a dead giveaway of a member of the Uzumaki Clan– Tsunade has grown up to be the spitting image of her grandmother, Mito Uzumaki. I tried to think up a way of telling her.

Finding a way to express my feelings to Tsunade was probably the most natural thing I could do. Thoughts like these are always rippling on the surface of my mind, anyway. Becoming an author really was a no-brainer, considering I've spent my whole life consumed with all the things that made me fall in love with her in the first place. Might as well write our story… change our names, maybe tweak the ending. I held her snug against me, and she squeezed me back tighter in return. There was something warm, something that felt right, smelt right. My body went slack, muscles becoming loose and fluid with contentment. Tsunade has always given me the respect of an equal, but right now, she cradled me like a precious child. In her embrace, I could feel my worries lose their keen sting, and my usual optimism raise its head from the dirt. Perhaps the hope had been there all along, but without some love, it was trapped. Like crystals in a stone.

_Maybe it's wrong of me to assume our story has ended._

Her questioning cut me off from my tangent about the battle between Lady Uzumaki and the group of rogue Mist shinobi. "Is there a point to any of this, Jiraiya?"

I craned my head to look down at her. She may be beautiful, but same as her grandmother before her, Tsunade is undoubtedly a warrior. Some of our people hesitate to trust her for various reasons; her bad luck, her _bad_ attitude, her focus on healing over ninjutsu. But those idiots didn't fight side by side with her for 30 years. As the Legendary Sannin, we completed more missions than any team of ninja in the history of the Leaf Village, battling alongside our other partner, Orochimaru. I mean, yes, we all overworked ourselves to fund our specific vices; mine being women, her's gambling, and Orochimaru… was into all sorts of freaky shit, I'm sure. _But we are legends for a reason, dammit._

I grasped her chin with my fingertips, forcing her honey eyes to meet mine again. I could hardly fathom how lucky I was to be her friend and comrade. The two of us may be at odds most of the time, but Tsunade has never once failed to have my back.

"I just can't help but think she's passed on all of her fiery courage to the lovely woman in my arms," I drawled, meaning every word. "I am not the least bit surprised, though. I've never once lost faith in my _Hime_." I whispered, using her retired honorific for princess (姫) that nobody but the village elders even addressed her as anymore. I'd like to think that it holds more weight whenever I use it, rather than some condescending fuckhead like Danzō Shimura.

The little gasp that escaped her was delicate, but her proximity to my ear amplified the sound to an almost deafening sigh. The noises she makes have always had a profound effect on me, but it's not every day that her face is buried in my neck. Intimacy like this honestly doesn't happen between us anymore, at least not physically. We haven't embraced each other like this since long before our squad disbanded. The vulnerable, breathy sounds involuntarily escaping her made something… _stir_ ominously below. I took a deep breath in an attempt to will away the threat of an absolutely massive erection. I inhaled a deep lungful of air, unintentionally filling myself with the scent of clean rain, tropical fruit, and lilies that she was giving off. It was a mouth-watering fragrance she created when we were kids.

I reminisced of that time ages ago, about three years into our careers as Jōnin. I think Tsunade's brother Nawaki was a toddler, making all of us around 17 or 18. She had suckered me into being her guinea pig. I couldn't say I exactly minded, though. At Tsunade's command, I would hunt down the best-smelling flowers in the floral shop before shaking down the little Yamanaka twerp for a discount. I'd sit down on the floor of her room while she'd mix and blend her concoctions, rattling off all the ingredients' complex properties and the unique meanings of each flower. I personally could never retain the information, but I was happy to watch her work so excitedly, especially in that cropped top of hers with the red miniskirt. She'd then rub her homemade oils into the skin of my forearms, massaging my sore muscles teasingly, before asking me what I thought of the homemade aromas. Eventually, she sent me on a "mission," telling me to gather all of my personal favorite smells and to report back to her. I came up with summer lilies and kiwis. Inoichi Yamanaka even offered me a tincture of premium freesia water, on the house, if I agreed to stop acting like such a shit-bird in his store. I accepted, reluctantly, only because the freesia smelled precisely like strawberries.

I'd eagerly scamper through the village with bouquets in my arms on the path to the Senju Compound. Boasting to civilians and ninja on the way there, "Everybody, I'm about to get _thoroughly_ laid!" People didn't really like that. Ninja society and the suppression of healthy sexuality, and all that business. Some of the ninja who really knew me would boo at me, fully aware that Tsunade was not giving it up to the likes of me.

I always kept hustling, even when I was inside their house, hoping to avoid her grandfather, the First Hokage. The literal God of Shinobi. It's not that he wasn't friendly. Lord Hashirama was actually a really cool guy. He was approaching his sixties, but he talked to us and joked around like he was still a young man. He was funny and very playful. To be honest, most wouldn't really think he's the man dubbed the "God of Shinobi" unless you witnessed him in battle. He was indeed a hero of mine, but in his old age, Hashirama Senju could just talk and talk and _talk…_ and I was admittedly much more interested in his hot granddaughter.

"Young Jiraiya! It's been a while," he grinned as he sauntered toward me. He clapped a wrinkled hand onto my shoulder. "Congratulations and welcome back from Mount Myōboku," his hand traveled up to muss up my spiky white mane. "You're the only shinobi I personally know who's been dedicating their time to sage training. I'm certain that one day you will be a force to reckoned with." He beamed at me with a proud smile. I grinned back.

"I appreciate that, Lord First." I bowed my head, which only made him laugh at me.

"Call me Hashirama, kid. "He regarded me with his arms crossed over his chest. "You seem to be getting bigger each time I see you, too. You're well over 6 feet now!"

"My mom makes me eat all my vegetables. Which I'll admit is much better than eating bugs for two years straight."

Lord First threw his head back in raucous laughter. "You know… I've always wondered what the grub from Mount Myōboku must taste like," he pondered while scratching his chin. "Don't tell my slug buds in the Shikkotsu Forest I said that, though. They most definitely would _not_ like that. Slugs don't exactly get along with toads all that much."

I smiled tightly, wondering where the hell this conversation is even going. Lord Hashirama looked pointedly at all the flowers in my hands.

"Although, my Tsuna seems to hit it off pretty well with you, so maybe there are exceptions," he chuckled, waggling his eyebrows at me animatedly. I wanted to drop dead right then and there. _Tsunade, where the fuck are you?_ He leaned in, whispering just as loudly as he had just been speaking. "Did I tell you that she wouldn't stop talking about you the _whole_ time you were gone?"

I almost dropped everything. "Wait, really—"

"Oh _yeah,"_ He nodded, looking around to see if it was safe to talk. "It was kind of annoying, really. And do I seem like the kind of guy who gets bothered easily?" He whispered conspiratorially.

Tsunade stomped down the hall, glowering at her grandpa. "I'm gonna tell Grandma you're being embarrassing again!" Lord First took one look at her and bolted, cackling wildly as he ran away down the hall. He even clicked his heels, calling over his shoulder, "Nice seeing you, boy! Leave the bedroom door open, will ya?"

Tsunade groaned, burying her face in her hands. "Let's just go before he decides to come back." I practically sprinted to her room. She sighed as she slid the door shut. "I'm sorry about him. He's just _really_ bored all the time," She grimaced apologetically, taking all the ingredients from my hands. I always bought more flowers than she needed so she can put them in the vase in her room. She rolled her eyes every time, but her blush told me I should keep doing it.

I watched her tiredly as she formulated all of it, her soft, soothing hums lulling me to sleep right where I sat on the floor of her bedroom. Tsunade eventually shook me awake, dubbing the concoction' Amazon Lily,' declaring it her most divine creation. Soft, nimble fingers reached for my hand. "It's on my wrist, smell it, Baka." I brought her hand to my mouth, but instead of kissing it like you'd see gentlemen do, I merely took a whiff.

" _Shit_ ," I breathed. "You were not exaggerating." She threw her arms around my neck, laughing happily in my ear. She wore it every day after that, unintentionally teasing me with the irresistible scent that was tailored to my exact taste. I still enjoyed helping her, despite the overwhelming frustration of it all.

However, sometimes she would use it all as a cruel excuse to prank me, just to make her and Orochimaru laugh. Like rubbing some weird capsaicin oil onto my lips, which in retrospect, maybe I should have known was sketchy considering she was wearing gloves as she applied it. I most likely had that coming, but still. One time, in particular, I embarrassed Tsunade in front of Sarutobi-sensei and Orochimaru. I bested her unexpectedly during training before shamelessly slapping one of her breasts in victory while screeching "WOOOO!"

Later that night, she snuck into my parent's apartment, slinking into my room and crawling onto my unsuspecting form. I assumed I was still dreaming when my eyes opened because I could clearly feel a woman perched on my lap as if I was stuck in a blessed, lucid dream. So I reached up her skirt and caressed a plump, delectable ass through the standard mesh armor leggings. The slap that met my face brought me to reality quickly, echoing in my silent bedroom space. "Be a gentleman," she growled, glaring down at me furiously. Before I could speak, she reached over and turned on the lamp. Tsunade looked down on me with a baleful expression, while my own face burned and throbbed where I was struck. Tsunade coyly reaches down the front of her top to pull out a vial of liquid stashed in between her breasts.

"What's this?" I ask, as I desperately tried not to flip her over and just hump the shit out of her. The amount of focus it took for me to not do _that_ …was truly alarming.

"I know you picture me when you're hard," she whispered, biting her lip as she ran a red fingernail down my bare chest, her hand fixating on caressing the exposed muscles of my stomach. Every time the pad of her fingertips hit a dip in one of my abdominal muscles, she would coo and gasp. Every sound and move she made was making me feel powerless with need.

"Well, Hime, it's not like I try to hide it." I chuckled nervously, resting both my hands behind my head. My dick twitched under her butt, as if on queue, personally reminding her of its existence.

Suddenly _she_ looked nervous, hopping off my lap and perching herself on my windowsill across the room. My erection was now in plain sight, making my blankets form a humiliating tent around my thighs. She gaped at the sight, before shaking her head and clearing her throat.

"I made that just for you. And I want you to think of _me_ while you use it." I couldn't believe my fucking ears.

"Uh, _that_ … I can do, Hime."

She was barely even out the window before I yanked my shorts down, uncorked the vial, and slathered the cool liquid on my left hand. I polished the head of my cock with the slick fluid, cooing at the delicious friction while I mentally revisited the few times that I peeped on Tsunade bathing. She hadn't caught me since we were genin, thanks to the mastery of my Transparent Escape Technique. My favorite time was when she had abruptly stood up, water cascading gloriously down her naked body while she innocently massaged the shoulders of her good friend, Hayami Hyuga. The Hyuga maiden had been far too distracted with pleasure to even detect my presence, which was a testament to my skills, really.

I was about to finish when suddenly, I felt a shooting pain covering my erection. It felt like it was engulfed in a freezing fire, burning me thoroughly with sharp, icy licks. I shivered uncontrollably and screamed, not knowing if I needed hot water or cold water as I scrambled to wash the burning substance off me. It already absorbed into the delicate skin, forcing me to endure the torture of it for the rest of the night. I wasn't sure what was in it, but my guess was maybe concentrated peppermint or something, the menthol in it causing my dick to stay painfully hard for hours. _Oh, I'm thinking of you, alright, Hime... Monster._

The next day, I couldn't even look Tsunade in the eyes, but I did catch her shady, satisfied expression.

I rapidly shook my head, trying to expel the embarrassing memories of our distant past out of my mind. Needless to say, her aroma was entirely too intoxicating, and it brought me back – _way back_ – like, flashback level back. I never would have even guessed Tsunade would still be wearing it to this day.

None of this did _anything_ to stop me from getting aroused, unfortunately. And with every deep breath Hime takes, those voluptuous breasts are cushioned against my chest's sore, battered skin. _I guess I can only endure her tits pressed against me for so long before my blood inevitably betrays me._

"Baka-chan," Tsunade whimpered, before leaning up and pressing those pillowy soft lips against my jaw. She held them there, and I had to stop the giddy laughter bubbling inside that was threatening to escape. Tsunade's lips alight on my cheek like a freckled dew petal caught in a breeze, smooth and with the smallest hint of coolness. The hushed sound of her lips parting as they leave my skin has to be the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. I felt my heart pounding so hard I feared she'd hear it, and if she does, my secret is no more. I trembled and moaned at the loss of her lips, like I'm a young boy again, desperate for more of her affection.

"You _kissed_ me? That was all you, so you better not punch me."

"I won't! _Relax_."

"What has gotten into you, Tsunade?" She bit her lip and shrugged. She extricated herself from my arms, standing straight up and smoothing out her haori with a sadistic smirk.

Tsunade stared at my lips while she answered. "I guess I just really don't want you to die, Baka." Her childhood nickname for me usually sounded full of contempt whenever she decided to use it. But today, it seemed different. Almost… flirty? _I don't know, but either way, I am immensely turned on right now._

She leaned over, cradling my face in her hands as she pressed another kiss to the opposite cheek. Her lips lingered even longer than they did the first time before pulling away. When she looked at me, it was as if every ounce of breath was taken from my lungs, floating into the air like midnight smoke. Each time she kissed my skin, it was like the whole world was silenced. Her hands holding my face felt like she was untying my most stubborn and unyielding knots. If it were up to me, I could spend eternity being held in her arms.

I tried to sit up from the wide metal table, but Tsunade planted a palm on my chest to keep me in place. I looked up at her, still upright as I held myself up by leaning back on my forearms. My calves still hung off the end of the short table, devoid of any feeling left. "Don't move just yet. I still need to close this wound." I nodded, reluctantly still holding my position on my forearms. Tsunade suddenly lifted a high-heeled foot, hooking one of her legs over my hips and hopping over the edge of the table to climb on top of me. The smooth skin of her calves tickled my sides, where she straddled my lower abdomen. I never expected to feel the delicious grip of her thighs clinging to my body ever again, not since those tortuous adolescent days of ours. I questioned her with wide, fearful eyes as she placed a soft hand on my shoulder's bare skin.

"I'm tired of standing," she said coolly as if she had no idea what all of this was doing to me. She reached over and slid a tray of operating tools closer to her side. The hand on my shoulder nudged me, gently guiding me to lie back down. My lips suddenly felt dry while I gazed up at Tsunade. My tongue darted out to lick them while she made herself comfortable on my lap.

Tsunade narrowed her brown eyes. "Don't get any ideas, pervert. I'm exhausted," she warned, raising a short blonde eyebrow. "You could even say I'm feeling a little _sluggish_ …."

I slowly blinked at Tsunade, not wanting to give her the slightest satisfaction of laughing at that stupid joke. Her eyes crinkled at the corners as she booped my nose with a manicured finger. I rolled my eyes to the ceiling. _Corny, just like your grandpa._

"Ahhh, I can see you _smiling_ , Jiraiya. Well, whatever, it's about time to stitch you up anyway."

Something told me this wasn't normal bedside manner, and I couldn't pretend I wasn't struggling to hide my exhilaration. Tsunade wiggled down my abdomen with wicked intent in her eyes, her center making contact with the stiff result of all her fidgeting. My eyes were fixed helplessly at the apex of her thighs as she shifted her hips, grounding her lower body against my twitching hardness. Tsunade stilled, her face flushed with innocent shock, but despite this, she made no other move to leave. "I'm sorry…" she whispered, blushing fiercely as she fingered the ends of one of her long pigtails.

"You're gonna be sorry when you _annihilate_ me right after you just helped me cheat death!" I hooted. She doubled down with a snicker, circling her hips languidly, allowing her full body weight to rest directly on top of my straining erection. I pulsed and throbbed under the pressure of her shapely ass. The whimper was involuntary– and kind of humiliating – escaping me unbidden like some green boy. This is just like Tsunade to intentionally egg me on only to reject and beat the piss out of me! My eyes squeezed shut as I braced myself for a devastating impact.

" _Jiraiya_ , stop it." She giggled, her cheeks still pink as she looked down at me with amusement. She resumed her unhurried motions, grinding haltingly slow against my stiff meat, her full bottom lip caught between her teeth as she gazed into my eyes. "You know, I'm actually relieved to feel it," she cooed. Her voice, coupled with the sensations, caused an embarrassingly loud and guttural moan to burst from my throat. My large, shaking hands slid up those thick, elegant thighs of hers to rest on her hips before I could stop them. My thumbs stroked the exposed skin above the waistband of her skintight capris. "It's just a good sign, you know?" she whispered, looking down at me with hooded eyes. "I'm surprised you can still get it up after losing all that blood, though." Her breezy laugh was cut off with a sweet moan when I bucked my hips sharply between her legs.

"That's only because there's no more blood left for my brain," I grunted, my fingers digging into her skin when she started grinding me even harder. Her hips gradually picked up speed, causing her to bounce slightly as she rode me. _It's been so long..._

She sighed, throwing her head back and squeezing her thighs almost painfully around my waist. " _Jiraiya_ …" she moaned, grabbing one of my hands from her hips and bringing it up toward her chest.I froze completely as I watched the path of our hands as they traveled up to her left breast.

"I must have died," I declared. "There is no way this is happening." Tsunade's eyes locked with mine again as she cradled my hand. She brought it up to her mouth instead, placing feather-light kisses on the tips of my fingers. Her pink tongue slid out of her mouth to caress the pad of my index finger, her eyes still never leaving mine. My body shuddered at the sight.

"You look like you're holding your breath or something," she trails off as she grabs my other hand off of her hip and places both my hands on each of her breasts. A deep, throaty sigh fled my lips. "What's the matter, Baka?" she drawled lazily. I stifled the urge to squeeze them with all the strength I possessed. _The weight of them… so heavy… must… crush them…_

She shivered hotly in my grasp when my thumbs caressed the exposed tops of her breasts that her blouse failed to contain. "Do you treat all of your patients like this?" I wonder out loud as I continue kneading her luscious, supple flesh. I couldn't take my eyes off of her as hers fluttered shut.

She started panting when I began to circle her pebbled nipples with my thumbs through the fabric of her kimono-style blouse. "Mmmm…" Tsunade moaned loudly, throwing her head back in delight. "Only the ones lucky to be alive." She opened her eyes, gazing in mine intimately as she rolled her hips against my rigid cock. I was insanely delirious with pleasure.

While I was unconscious, Tsunade must have removed my bloody yukata, leaving me in just a pair of black boxer briefs. They were doing a laughable job of containing the rock solidness straining underneath. The desire was burning me from the inside out. I sat up to crush my lips against hers, but instead of feeling plump, pliant lips… I only felt the skin on my chest give as it tore from the effort. Tsunade gasped, her eyes wide as she swatted my hands away from her chest. "Oh shit, Jiraiya!" Warm blood started to trickle slowly from the torn skin underneath my pectoral. "What is wrong with me?" she yelled as she scrambled to grab some gauze from the tray to quell the bleeding. "I started humping you like some depraved school-girl when I should've been stitching this closed!" I slid my hands down her ribcage until they fell limply back onto the operating table.

"Yeah, Tsunade. You're a real perv," I muttered, doing everything I can to keep a straight face.

She erupted with laughter, but the look on her face did not hide the fact that she kind of wanted to deck me. Instead, she reached over and cleaned my wound with a small basin of water on the tray. She dried up the pink water trickling down my abdomen. Tsunade started to hum quietly as she methodically began sewing stitches underneath my skin. The raw skin on my chest felt like it was being tugged uncomfortably at times, but I ignored it, choosing to focus on the lovely sounds of her humming. And on the grand display of cleavage inches from my face while she was hunched over, concentrating on closing each open lesion. When the job was done, she cleaned them with a saline-like solution along with some antiseptic. She regarded her handiwork with a bitter look of regret.

"What is it?"

"I did my best, but you're still going to have an enormous scar. I'm so sorry."

I chuckled, running my hand up her arm reassuringly. "I'm already covered in them, Hime. I'll be fine. I've had this perfect, chiseled chest for long enough. As long as it's not too gruesome for you." I winked, and she rolled her eyes, the corners of her mouth lifting into a reluctant smile.

She hopped off of my lap, her heels clicking loudly when she landed on the floor. She held out her hand for me to take, helping me slide off the operating table. My legs were still asleep, so I leaned on the side until I could properly support my weight. "I can't believe I'm only just asking now, but is Naruto okay?"

Tsunade grabbed my hand, walking at my pace until we reached Naruto's bed. She ran her fingers through his blonde locks, smiling fondly at his still form. Watching her make such a loving, motherly gesture made my heart skip a beat. "He's good. Whatever injuries he sustained were healed by the Nine Tails chakra long before I got here. Hopefully, he'll wake up by tomorrow morning."

"His healing ability is troubling," I say as Tsunade seals all of her equipment back into her medical scroll, leaving Naruto's hospital bed and a roll of gauze. She came over to me to wrap my chest with a thick bandage, spinning it around my torso and securing it comfortably. "He's shortening his lifespan every time he heals the damage that way."

Tsunade nodded. "It worries me too." She dragged the futon in the corner by Naruto back into the other room, placing it to the left of the kotatsu table. She straightened the blankets and pillows before heading to the bathroom area. "I'm more worried about you, though," she called as she left the bathroom, holding a silk lilac kimono that had been provided by the inn. "Most of the damage you sustained was in the chakra pathway system." I watched her undo the ties to her loose pigtails, her blonde hair cascading all the way down to her hips as she shook it out with her hands. I couldn't remember the last time I'd seen it down like that.

Tsunade looked at me, expectantly. "Damage to my _what_ , now?" I ask as I slide her green haori off her shoulders and onto the floor.

"The pathway system. You know, the thing that allows you to use chakra?"

My hands stilled. "What do you suggest I do?"

Tsunade bent forward as she inched her dark blue tights down her legs. "I suggest you come home."

My stomach dropped. "And do what? Retire?"

She kicked the garment off, looking up at me sympathetically. "I didn't say anything about retiring. I really just want to monitor you while you recover from the physical trauma to the area." She closed the distance between us. "Besides... you guys have been gone for two years," she murmurs softly as she places her hands on my shoulders. "Isn't it time to come home anyway?"

I shook my head as I began to undo the dark blue obi of her blouse. "I want to come home, but I don't believe Naruto's journey is anywhere close to over. I don't want him to lose sight of his goals by coming home too early."

I leaned back slightly to properly admire her figure. She was wearing this sheer, black halter-style bra that looked to be one size too small. It could barely contain her curves as they shook and jiggled with any slight movement she made. Her lower body was just as captivating; she wore nothing but a teensy pair of emerald panties, almost thin enough to be considered a thong but not quite.

She nodded as I threw her blouse to the floor at our feet. "I understand. But if you overextend yourself now, you could easily put yourself into early retirement. And neither of us wants that." She cupped my cheek in her hand and sighed, gazing into my eyes. "I thought I lost you today," she whispered, running her hand from my jaw down to my shoulder. I tried to keep the drool from leaking out of my mouth as I fingered the elastic waistband on her hip. The tight muscles of her stomach tensed at my unexpected touch.

"Hey, I'm still here," I whispered. Tsunade's eyes started to brim with tears. "Because _you_ saved me. I'm so sorry you even had to in the first place. I was terrified I was going to die by the same beast that killed my boy and his wife... the same beast that killed my fucking parents!" Tsunade flinched painfully, her eyes haunted by their deaths. Imagining meeting the same fate as my mom, dad, and Naruto's parents, right after I'd been charged with taking care of him, almost made me break down. I pushed each of their faces out of my head before I lost my mind with grief. "I thought I was going to leave Naruto all alone again." I exhaled a shaky breath. "I thought I was going to leave _you_ alone again."

She looked like she wanted to say something, but I kept going, unable to hold it all in. "You trusted me to train Naruto, but I've proven to be weak. And with this injury, I'm worried I've outlived my use as a Leaf shinobi. Who will train Naruto? What am I, if not a ninja?"

I looked away as my lips trembled, and my shoulders began to heave with emotion, unwilling to back down. My lashes brimmed heavy with tears, my hands clench into shaking fists in a desperate attempt to battle against the grief. Before I could stop it, a lone tear raced down my cheek, and just like that, the floodgates opened. I wept, tears streaming from my eyes as loud, heaving sobs tore through my throat. Still, I could not meet her eyes. Not until the cries nearly drove me to my knees did I look at her.

When I began to sway, Tsunade grabbed me by the shoulders roughly to steady me. She put a finger to my lips, and I looked down at it dumbly. "Shhh… you know that's bullshit, right? You will _never_ outlive your use." She stood up on tiptoes to kiss my jaw again. "Jiraiya… you have always been the strongest man I know, the greatest sensei in the history of the Leaf. Someday, our grandbaby is going to become Hokage… and it will be all thanks to _you_."

I don't know who reached first, her or me. But our bodies slammed into each other, limbs flailing wildly as I grabbed her thighs and hoisted her up, letting her wrap those enticing legs around my waist. My hands went straight to that curvaceous ass, gripping handfuls of her lush skin. Tsunade slung her arms around my neck, her brown eyes glittering in the light of the morning rain still shining through the door of the patio. We closed the distance, eyes fluttering closed as we brushed our lips together lightly. The sound of metal dragging on the tatami floor stopped our kiss before it could even begin.

"Ahhh! What the _hell_ is this?! You promised this wouldn't happen again, Pervy Sage!" His voice was even raspier than usual, sounding like sandpaper on a blackboard.

I turned my head to see Naruto standing in front of the other room's sliding door, his IV still connected and trawling on the floor behind him as he backed away from us in shock and disgust. Tsunade's face was an uneasy shade of green as she turned her head to see our grandson frozen with horror.

"Whoa. G-granny… _Tsunade_?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading. im working on the next chapter. i hope you all stay safe and healthy during this insane pandemic. love you all :)


	5. Stain of the Senju

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What life is really like for a young Tsunade Senju.

**Tsunade, age 15**

I wouldn't dare confess my secret to another living soul… I would deny it with every fiber of my being if anyone was stupid enough to try me. No… actually, I'd beat the bricks off anyone who would dare question me about it.

My secret?

Jiraiya has always _fascinated_ me.

I mean, everything about him is just so irritatingly ambivalent. Idiot and prodigy. Strong yet gentle. Charming and crass. I can admit that in the past, I was much more attracted to our teammate, Orochimaru. He was forever unbothered and cool, always slow to reveal any emotion or opinions outside anything ninjutsu-related. Our raven-haired teammate possessed surprisingly delicate features and a set of the most unique eyes I've ever seen, to this day. He was also the more gifted shinobi of the two, mastering every jutsu you could throw at him without a hitch. Orochimaru is aloof and calm, but Jiraiya is a complete and utter spaz.

Jiraiya tries way too hard sometimes, and in general, he's just too much. Too loud, too arrogant, too… _perverted_. However, Orochimaru has steadily grown disdainful and cold as the years have gone by. Now he's pretty creepy, also. But not so much in a pervy way, more like… kind of a vindictive way? I don't know. Jiraiya may be impetuous and even a little depraved, but shady and underhanded he is not. I didn't notice it right away, but I guess my attitude towards Jiraiya has gradually shifted from disgust to… slightly… more… _welcoming_. At least internally. He may push my buttons, but it's evident that he views me with unreasonably high regard. Like, seriously, I don't know what I've ever done to earn his respect aside from our duties as shinobi. Deep in my heart, I know his high opinion of me is much more than a status thing. Jiraiya cares for me deeply and never tries to cover it up.

Unlike me, who hides everything from everybody.

Bringing myself to admit these things out loud is absolutely unthinkable. My effort seems wasted too because I'm sure my family sees right through me. Grandpa Hashi was the first to flap his gums about it over dinner with Granny Mito and me one evening. Announcing embarrassingly that love was "written all over my face," the moment I saw Jiraiya hold Nawaki for the first time. I buried my face in my bowl of food and didn't look up until I was safe from their excited, smug laughter. My mind couldn't help but go back to that day when I invited him over to meet my baby brother.

At the time, we were doing this heavy-duty taijutsu training regimen every day. It was my idea in the first place, looking for any excuse to beat on Jiraiya. But I really just wanted more chances to be physically _close_ to him without having to put myself out there. Under the guise of training, my mind is somehow able to accept our proximity without turning me into a desperate, blushing mess. What I didn't anticipate was for him to take our training so seriously _,_ though. It was steadily becoming tougher to continue evading him and to avoid being grappled and wrestled to the ground. It was even tougher for me to pretend that I _don't_ want him to pin me.

Jiraiya had also just hit a growth spurt seemingly out of nowhere, his shoulders filling out and face losing a sizeable amount of baby fat. He still only had roughly three inches of height over me, but he's undoubtedly bulked up in a significant way. His thick legs were stockier with muscle, those powerful thighs deadly whenever he catches you in their hold. And his arms... they just keep getting bigger and _beefier_.

Taijutsu was always _my_ specialty, yet _he_ keeps getting the better of me, and it's humiliating to endure and honestly, unacceptable. Sarutobi-sensei had even felt the need to mention it, making sure Jiraiya and Orochimaru were entirely out of earshot.

"My lady, are you not a ninja?" Lord Hokage's usual passive tone was now brittle, his sturdy body towering over me while the brim of his traditional hat cast a shadow over his eyes. I squared my shoulders for what was to come, my eyes meeting the deep-set glare of my displeased teacher. He would be angry if I decided to be a smart ass, so I instead said nothing in hopes to speed this thing along.

"Ever since your recent promotion to Jōnin, I've felt a certain complacency in you. I promoted you because you're the most skilled kunoichi of your generation. Maybe fourteen was too young to make you a Jōnin. You're clearly not all that serious about being a shinobi, despite being heir to the Senju."

 _Whoa_.

"You actually think _I'm_ the heir? Don't make me laugh." My fists were balled at my sides as I tried to reign in my anger. "I guess you don't know my family as well as you think you do." I gritted my teeth. "Things have really sucked at home for me lately. But that doesn't mean I've peaked early!"

Lord Hokage chewed on my words for a brief moment.

"Prove it. I know you are better than this, Tsunade. But clearly, you have some issues you need to work through."

"What issues?" His glare dropped as pity started to set in. He suddenly looked afraid to meet my eyes.

He let out a deep, frustrated breath. "The same issues as Jiraiya, it would seem."

My stomach churned with outrage, mouth dropping open to let out a choked whisper.

"Sensei, are you saying that I'm a... p-pervert?"

He grimaced, looking as though he regretted pulling me aside in the first place. "Yes, Tsunade. I am." I recoiled in disgust until my back hit the trunk of the little tree directly behind me. "You're _lucky_ that I didn't say anything in front of the boys. I never hesitate to put either of them on blast in front of _you…_ " He pulled his pipe out from his robes and lit up right in front of me. _Really? Right now?_ He took a long drag and held it in for a moment before exhaling a pungent, stinking cloud of smoke around the two of us. "I don't know what's going on with you, Tsunade, but it's as if the two of you have switched bodies." Lord Third pulled the traditional Hokage head covering down even further, a sudden crude chuckle escaping his throat. "There was once a time when it was _Jiraiya_ who played grabass during training and _you_ who actually took things seriously."

"W-what? _Fuck_ , it's not— "

The words wouldn't even come out. I was profoundly humbled, my head hung in shame. Sarutobi-sensei exhaled loudly before putting a hand on my shoulder. I wanted to shake it off, loathing the waves of sympathy he was no doubt directing at me. He cleared his throat, looking sheepish as a blush crept up his neck.

"Maybe train with another kunoichi also... I'm sure you'll feel a noticeable difference." My jaw dropped in shock at his misogynistic assumption. _As_ _if I couldn't also play grabass with another kunoichi._

"Just get yourself together, Tsunade." I crossed my arms in defiance, wanting nothing more than to kick his stupid hat off his stupid old head.

_No wonder Jiraiya is so disgusting all the time. Look at our fucking sensei! Baka never even stood a chance…_

"Uh-huh, whatever you say, sensei. Thanks for the talk." He sighed, removing his hand from my shoulder after giving it a small squeeze. "Enjoy the rest of your day, enabling a buncha shitty people, just like always."

"Ouch," he muttered quietly as he took another hit from his pipe. "Enable?" he repeated to himself as if he didn't know its meaning.

With that, Sarutobi-sensei exited the training field, leaving me with a bitter taste in my mouth. I stood there dumbfounded for a brief moment while I watched him retreat to the Hokage mansion, my face heating up the more I fumed petulantly. _Am I really as shameless as Baka?_ The thought alone made me want to throw myself off the top of the Stone Faces. Have I always been this transparent?

"Sensei seriously pulled me aside just to cringe at me," I whispered to myself, completely traumatized. I'm used to mastering our lessons with limited difficulty, but lately, I've been so distracted it's starting to become apparent through my training. I mean… It's not like I've never had crushes before. Aside from my teammates, there are other people that I'm attracted to as well. But I don't have to see and work closely with any of them every single day!

_Aarrghh! How do you expect me to fight someone who smells so good?!_

I shook my head rapidly in a desperate attempt to shake those thoughts out of my skull. I sighed, feeling so fucking stupid. I heard a twig snap from above and saw Orochimaru perched comfortably in a thicket of branches. He laughed silently, but his body was shaking so hard with his laughs that he almost fell right out of the tree. I flipped him off, but it only made him cackle and swing his legs like a child. I wrapped my arms around the tree's trunk, using my strength to wrench it out of the ground by the root and heave it as far as I could across the training field. Orochimaru's squeal faded away in the distance as the tree sailed through the air and into oblivion.

"Fuck today," I whimpered hopelessly, picking my backpack off the ground and hoisting it over my shoulder. I hurried to catch up with Jiraiya, who was waiting for me in the quiet little creek down the forest path to my family's housing area.

The forest on the outer fringe of the Training Fields is the Senju Forest, where I often go to escape my family or simply rest. There is a tangible serenity that flows as cool as the creek's flowing water adjacent to the path. There is something about the sparkle upon the blue water, like a melody without a distinct rhythm, music without sound. Above, wave the great arms of giant trees, clothed in the greens of every palate and none, the verdant hues of nature's free dreams. In this legendary beauty, I am with my tribe of wood and leaf, among the giants whose roots hug the earth. It's a place of ancient souls, of the creatures who dwell with the sweet sounds of moving water and bird song. Somehow this is more home than my actual home. Perhaps one day I'll learn why.

Crouching on the edge of the water, Jiraiya was holding his wrist up to his face. As I approached, I could see a tiny green tree frog was resting on the back of his hand. They looked like they were both intentionally making stupid faces at one another. The toad's pupils were rapidly vibrating with sharp, zany movements while Jiraiya had one of his eyes drifting to the side, and the other somehow pointed straight up.

"Hey there, handsome," I called out loudly, causing some birds from the trees to flee noisily. Jiraiya kept his eyes crooked as he looked at me blankly. He laughed and let them revert back to normal.

"There you are! I thought you ditched me…" The toad jumped off his hand, plopping down onto a wet rock nestled in the creek's gushing water. My eyes squinted shut as I stretched my arms over my head, growling involuntarily at how good it felt. _I can't wait to soak away all of this soreness in the hot spring later…_

"Didn't ditch you, I was just busy disappointing Sarutobi-sensei. I'm sure you know how that is," I said nonchalant, forcing myself to maintain a straight face as I cracked all my knuckles.

He gasped in offense and laughed, flicking me in the forehead. I swatted his hand away from my face, rubbing the sore spot his finger left.

"Thanks for taking the burden off me, I guess," Jiraiya quipped while looking down at me, his full lips pulled into a smirk.

_Oh, you better not have been spying on me too, Baka._

I stood up on my tip-toes and flicked him in the same spot, adding a tinge of chakra to the end of my finger just to be an asshole. I've learned to never give his sneaky ass the benefit of the doubt. For all I know, that could have been Jiraiya's shadow clone in that tree, disguised as Orochimaru. He cried out, clutching his forehead and kicking the air in front of him. "Ah, you dick!"

"That's what you get for stealing my signature move."

He stuck his tongue out at me. I copied him and pulled my cheek down to expose my full eyeball. Jiraiya rolled his eyes, his lips twitching to form an exasperated smile.

"So am I going to get to meet a baby, or did you get my hopes up for nothing?" He asked, both of his hands clutching the straps of his backpack high on his shoulders. The way he carried himself, the gestures he made… they were always so boyish and charming. I bit my lip as I watched him stroll beside me through the trees.

I nudged him in the side with my hips, bumping him off balance slightly. "You're slower than a slug." I took off running, my backpack bouncing loudly against my shoulder blades as I sprinted. "I bet I make it there before you do, Baka!"

Jiraiya scoffed, scrambling to catch up with me.

"Stupid butthead Tsunade!"

**XXX**

_Good grief. I wish my boobs would grow as fast as Baka's arms do._

They were corded with thick muscle for a boy his age, but the way he held a laughing babe in his arms was delicate and tender. The reverence on Jiraiya's face as he gazed down at Nawaki appeared to be deeply genuine. Just that precious little moment alone nearly compelled me to demolish every carefully-built wall I've manifested to close myself off from him. It was odd, seeing such an adoring and fatherly gesture made by a teenage boy. I shouldn't be all that surprised, I suppose.

Shinobi do grow up faster than most.

Jiraiya dipped his head, blubbering and cooing as Nawaki grabbed his long index finger with a plump little hand. He laughed breathlessly, turning to me with a look of sheer wonder.

"Do you see this beautiful kid? One day, Nawaki's gonna have to fight off all the pretty girls with a stick!"

"Yes, I agree… He absolutely gets that from me," Grandpa muttered, a twinkle in his eyes as he beheld my brother in Jiraiya's arms. Grandpa Hashi flashed me a smile too, but I quickly looked away, blushing at the implication in his eyes as they darted back and forth between Jiraiya and me. I chose not to focus on him. Instead, I watched Jiraiya sway back and forth slowly, rocking the babe in his arms and crooning. "He's so happy," Jiraiya murmured adoringly. "Were you like this as a baby, Hime?" I shook my head, suddenly bashful.

"She was born with a hurricane for a soul, that one," Grandpa teased. He stated it as a fact but said it in a loving way with that soft glow in his eyes that only a proud grandfather can have for such demanding offspring. "It was impossible for Tsuna to fall asleep. Her mother and father had her younger than most other parents. They simply didn't know how to handle her." _What an excellent way of saying they didn't give a shit._ "There wasn't much of anything that would soothe little Tsuna but lullabies and snuggles." Grandpa strode up behind me, putting his warm hands on my shoulders and resting his cheek on the top of my head. I peacefully leaned into his touch as he kept on with his story.

"I would wear her all day long in her little carrier, and rock her in the dead of night when she couldn't sleep. She quickly became my best friend; we were absolutely inseparable. I loved the hurricane right out of that child and replaced it with the sweetest of summer breezes." He pressed a small kiss to the top of my head, and I turned to hug him to me tightly. Grandma and Grandpa were the only ones who enjoyed themselves and had actual fun raising me, despite how tough it had started out.

Jiraiya grinned at the two of us while he stroked the back of Nawaki's head fondly. "Hey, handsome?" Jiraiya whispered airily at the baby, his voice softer than the wind's sigh.

"Wanna hear a lullaby?" He shifted Nawaki in his arms, lining up his little body along the length of his forearm. "My mom sings this to me, I think you'll like it," he murmured soothingly, his eyes fluttering shut. Jiraiya began to softly hum a faint melody, bringing Nawaki up to his chest and holding him close. The lullaby was sad and haunting, a long-forgotten song traditionally sung in a choir of young girls. It sounded beautiful in his voice. He stopped humming and started to sing softly as he waltzed slowly around the room with the baby.

"Who will cry for me…when I die? Only the cicadas in the mountains…" His singing voice was hushed, deep, and just a little raspy, but still higher than I'd ever heard it. He never stopped swaying as he laid his cheek against Nawaki's chubbier one.

"No, it's not cicadas. It's my little sister. Don't cry… little sister, I will be sad for you." He peered down briefly at me, the muscles of face tugging lips into a smile as he sang against the skin of my brother's head. Grandpa Hashi's voice joined Jiraiya's, and my heart was so full like it could burst at any moment.

"When I am dead, bury me by the roadside… The passers-by will lay flowers for me." Tears began to form in my eyes, but they kept on singing, not even noticing. Jiraiya's hand cradled Nawaki's head firmly and attentively as they rocked.

"What flowers would they lay? Cam-cam-camellias… Water falling down from abo— "

The sudden _whoosh_ of the sliding door opening roughly cut off Jiraiya's mesmerizing hymn. I could feel my skin erupt with cold sweat as I responded to the tense and familiar energy that always seemed to permeate from my mother. The instant I turned to see my mom's appalled face, I felt a deep, sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Mom brought her dainty, manicured hand to her mouth in disgust, the long flowing sleeve of her vermillion kimono swaying upwards with the movement.

_Here we go._

"What is _he_ doing with _my_ child, Hashirama?" She thundered at Grandpa, pointing an accusing finger directly at him. She was absolutely livid, as though Jiraiya holding her son was somehow tainting him. Her lip curled with revulsion as she smoldered with blind fury.

Grandpa walked over to her, cautiously stepping in front of me, Jiraiya, and Nawaki. The fact that my mother didn't call him _Lord_ Hashirama meant she was too furious to even refer to him appropriately. _Shit._ Jiraiya glanced over at me with a pained grimace, his eyes filling with sorrow before moving on to my mom. He had stopped dancing but held on to Nawaki a little tighter than before as he glared indignantly at my mother.

"I was excited to show him _my_ grandchild, Niwa," Grandpa replied, uncharacteristically bristling at my mother's tone. The fact that he dropped her honorific as well did not go unnoticed. I swear, the only time you will ever see Hashirama Senju seethe with anger is when he's forced to interact with his callous daughter-in-law. He usually waited until my father was around to voice his objections, not that Dad ever really listened to them.

Mother was unfazed as she dashed aggressively to the side to direct her angry stare at Jiraiya and me. She zeroed in on the baby in his arms, her flat eyes narrowing back at us harshly. Her hands went to her slim hips, the long silk sleeves of her kimono falling loosely at her sides. Her lips started to curl again, her attempt at sneering while still appearing dignified and demure. She raised a shaking hand at Jiraiya, who had resumed rocking the baby in his arms, not even thinking to halt his movements in the face of my enraged mother.

"Hand him over, boy. You are far too _familiar_."

Mom has never tried to disguise her contempt for Jiraiya ever since I first brought him home as kids to meet the family. It's as if she wants to punish the two of us for having the audacity to remain friends.

_Fucking bitch._

My eyes stung, becoming polished with a glossy layer of tears at my mom's cruel words. As I blinked, they dripped from my eyelids and slid down my heated cheeks. I bit my lip tightly to hide any sounds that threatened to escape from my mouth. I turned to Jiraiya, apologizing to him without saying any words. He just gulped and looked down at my brother sadly. Grandpa only huffed, clearly frustrated and biting his tongue. He never argued with my mother, no matter how wrong she was. He'll just wait until my father gets home to say something about it.

Jiraiya stepped closer to my mom, flinching at her wide eyes when he got close enough to safely transfer the baby in her arms. "Please forgive me, my lady," Jiraiya muttered softly, his eyes fixated on Nawaki's content features.

"Mom, how could you even say such a thing? He was only singing a lullaby!"

"He was singing a _samurai_ lullaby. An ugly ballad of self-pity, weakness, and defeat. No son of mine shall ever hear it." The baby began to wail in her arms, sensing her wickedness, his little arms reaching towards his big sister. He began to squirm and squeal, his face tomato red as he screamed loudly.

"Now look what you've done," my mother spit out at me. "Both of you, out of my sight at _once_."

The tears flowed unchecked down my cheeks and dripped from my chin. I was too upset to cry out or wail; I just stood there as still as a statue while the unfairness of everything swept over me. My hands balled into fists at my sides as I stared back icily at her. I opened my mouth to say something, but felt Jiraiya place a hand in the middle of my shoulder blades. "C'mon, Hime," he whispered, rushed while he guided me out of the nursery. "Let's get something to eat."

As we went through the door, I chanced a look over my shoulder at my family. Grandpa was staring at my mom with utter disgust as she seethed behind our backs. I knew he wasn't going to say anything else to her, though. It's not like my mom is a kunoichi or even a regular civilian of the village. Lady Niwa is the daughter of the Daimyo, after all. The grotesque sounds of her yells and my brother's stressed cries could be heard throughout the compound on our way out. I wiped the tears from my cheeks bitterly, but they only flowed faster. My feet stopped carrying me forward, my legs shaking with a fierceness that stopped me in my tracks.

"My mom… I just don't know _why_ she's like this, I'm so s-so—" I tried to say, hoping to beg his forgiveness for once again subjecting him to mistreatment at my family's hands. I choked, unable to form any words. I was overcome with an aching sense of disgracefulness that caused me to wobble tremulously on my feet. _You fucking fool. What did you think was going to happen?_ My lower lip quivered as words finally started to make their way out of my mouth. " _Jiraiya_..." I began, yet that's as far as I could get. Instead, what followed was engulfed in blubbering sobs.

Jiraiya's arms wrapped around my shoulders from behind. I froze in his grasp, but his hold on me never faltered, not even a little. Should I even be surprised, though? He never hesitates when it comes to cheering someone up. His shoulder is always available in case you require something sturdy to cry on. He leaned back momentarily, rocking me slightly with him as he pulled up the sleeves of his white robe. His forearms were streaked with bluish-purple veins that sat comfortably on his silky, tanned skin. The beauty spots that speckled them jumped at me when he clenched his fists, the veins pulsating with concentration. I hung my head and sobbed, tears rolling uselessly down my cheeks and onto his skin. "I'm so sorry, Jiraiya," I tried to whisper as calmly as I could muster.

"Don't apologize for her," Jiraiya whispered, resting his chin on my right shoulder as he held me tightly against him. He inhaled deeply, the solidness of his chest pressing into my back snugly with every breath he took. I didn't have the energy to do anything but melt into his touch and allow him to hold me up. His words trickled down my neck delicately, causing shivers to wrack my entire frame. He only squeezed me tighter when he felt them. His usual lecherousness vanished off somewhere because there wasn't anything about his embrace that made me felt objectified. Jiraiya always knew when to turn it off.

"I can feel the pain that swirls in your brain, Hime. You make all these excuses for her as if it's possible to explain away how she treats you as if they hold actual answers. But they don't, Tsunade. People do things because their emotions are driving them that way… all those things that hurt you, Hime, have nothing to do with you at all… and perhaps that's even worse. Just… shut her out. She doesn't deserve to take up any free space in that beautiful head. Besides, everyone already knows what a bitch Lady Niwa is."

My tears had finally stopped, leaving only the ghosts of wet tracks down my face. _He can always make everything better again._ I thought to myself as I allowed my breathing to match his deep and even rhythm against my back. It was impossible for me to stay anxious or upset for too long whenever I find myself in Jiraiya's protective hold.

We started to walk briskly across the courtyard, trying to put more distance between my family and us. Our pace slowed considerably once we were far away from my home. Jiraiya bumped my shoulder with his arm, looking down on me with a smile. "I think my mom said something about meat buns and rice tonight," He glanced away from me uncertainly. "Or we could go out for dinner… uhh... your choice, my treat?"

I looked back at the warm, gentle boy next to me. He seemed desperate to make me smile again, causing a grin to slowly blossom on my face. I knew there weren't any joints around that could replace his mother's cooking. "Can we please eat with your folks?" He smiled brightly and nodded, the past five minutes already behind him.

"Anything you want, Tsunade," he said flippantly, offering me his arm. "Anything you want."

**XXX**

We made it out the dense brush leading up to the compound's entrance, the buildings and towers of the village now in plain view. Jiraiya and I sauntered passed rows of stores and restaurants on our way to his family's apartment. The crowd is like a river of people, everyone moving in the same direction for the most part. The two of us move not like pebbles in a jar, but like water molecules flowing smoothly past one another, friends staying together with arms entwined.

Standing outside a weapon stall, staring up at the clouds, was a tall, handsome man with spiky black hair, shiny with excessive hair product. He was Tsubaki Uchiha, a Jōnin like the rest of my team and me. However, unlike Orochimaru, me, and Jiraiya, he wasn't promoted at the record-breaking age of fourteen. I believe he had about ten years on all of us.

"Great," Jiraiya muttered under his breath, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Although Tsubaki was older, he was still very hot… with lean, rigid muscles you'd see on a dedicated swimmer. He had short, tousled hair that was slightly unkempt on the sides where his headband ties frizzed it up. His dark eyes were framed with long lashes, and he had a somewhat broad nose. He wore the Uchiha clan's relatively standard attire, a high-collared purple tunic with the crest of his proud clan on the back.

He quirked an eyebrow at us when we got closer. The setting sun cast a long shadow on half of his face, obscuring the jagged scar on his right cheek that intersects with the corner of his top lip. It was a wound I healed on a mission a few months back. I had apologized in advance, knowing my skills weren't advanced enough yet to entirely prevent scarring. He seemed indifferent when he'd been injured, but the moment I mentioned a new scar, his face paled considerably. I'd never seen him look so upset. "As if I didn't look scary enough," he lamented, looking miserable as all hell. I told him gently he was still handsome regardless, hoping he wouldn't doubt my sincerity.

Tsubaki's been looking at me sideways ever since then.

I heard a low whistle leave his lips. "Princess Tsunade," he sang lowly, his tone flirty and salacious. "Where are you munchkins headed off to?"

Jiraiya flared next to me, in no mood for any teasing.

" _My_ place. For dinner. Would've sent you an invite, but you're a tacky greaseball, and I hate you."

Tsubaki only chuckled, dusting off his flak jacket absent-mindedly. He crossed his arms in front of his chest, looking bored, with one of his feet planted flat on the wall he was leaning on. His dark eyes fixated on my arms that were wrapped around Jiraiya's bicep. His eyes narrowed at the two of us.

"Shit… what I wouldn't give to be you, pipsqueak," Tsubaki breathed, his voice full of longing as he looked me up and down hungrily.

"Well, _maybe_ if you didn't brush your hair with a pork chop, you would be," Jiraiya retorted, causing Tsubaki to double over in laughter. Jiraiya's arm flexed inside my grasp. I quickly became fed up with all the tension. _I just want to go home and eat, for the love of GOD!_

My own eyes rolled skyward, already bored with the impending pissing match. I let go of Jiraiya's arm, catching his petulant scowl in my peripherals. Tsubaki only grinned.

"Can you guys maybe stop being dicks for like two seconds?"

"I apologize, Princess," Tsubaki bowed, and it honestly looked super dumb to me. I seriously wanted to die from the formality of it all.

"Good grief, do _not_ _call_ me that either!" I yelled exasperated.

"Forgive me, my lady," Tsubaki said, still bowing. "I'm ashamed to admit it, but I'm hopelessly jealous of him," he said, nodding his head toward Jiraiya, who looked like his head was about to explode. Tsubaki huffed, forlorn. "I'd do just about anything to call you mine."

"You do know she's 14, right? Aren't you, like, 35?" Jiraiya deadpanned.

_Douche. You know my birthday was last weekend._

The good-natured mask Tsubaki had on his face dissolved for a moment as he scowled in offense.

"I'm 21, prick."

"Hmmm. Still gross. How come girls your own age don't like you?" Jiraiya asked innocently, cocking his head to the side and putting a finger to his lips.

"Oh, so now the _peeping_ _tom_ is going to preach to me?"

"Hey, at least I'm looking at _women_ and not creeping on underage girls."

"You being scummy doesn't somehow cancel out whatever it is you're accusing me of. I honestly don't see how leering at naked grandmothers while they bathe puts _you_ in any position to talk, loser."

Tsubaki loomed over to me suddenly, grabbing my hand and pulling me toward his chest. He looked into my eyes imploringly. "I'm not interested in any other girls: only _you_ , Lady Tsunade. I hope one day I get the chance to court you and make you happy. With your beauty, our children are sure to be absolutely _angelic_." He flashed me a brilliant smile as if he didn't just say the most batshit crazy thing ever.

My blood ran cold, sweat covering my palms as I planted them on his chest to put a little distance between us.

"Ch-children?" I sputtered dumbly.

Jiraiya was purple in the face when Tsubaki reached down and grabbed my hand again, bringing it to his lips. He placed a soft kiss on my wrist, looking in my teammate's eyes the whole time. He seemed satisfied with whatever look was on Jiraiya's face before he dropped my hand and backed away.

"Please give my regards to Lord Hokage." He started to leave abruptly, his hands buried in his pants pockets.

"Yeah, well, should the village ever face an oil shortage, I'll be sure to let Lord Third know we can always invade your scalp!" Jiraiya yelled, cupping his hands around his mouth to amplify the sound.

Tsubaki huffed, turning back to call out to our retreating forms. "It's fucking hair gel, you ass!"

Jiraiya threw his arm around my shoulder again. Only instead of it being a comforting gesture, it felt like more of a spiteful one. I twitched angrily at his possessive touch as we began walking again.

"Heh, heh. I was kind of on roll today. All those hair jokes."

I shook his arm off again. This time he didn't react, just stuffed his hands into the pockets of his martial arts pants. "I can't believe the old man said he wanted to get you _pregnant_!" He laughed while simultaneously cringing. "That was so _fucked,_ like honestly."

"Eh, it's pretty typical if I'm telling the truth." He chuckled.

"Typical of what, exactly? Men?"

"Of _Uchiha_ men..." I trailed off.

"What do you mean?"

"He only wants me because if we were to have children, they would automatically be born with the Rinnegan. That's it."

"The Rinnegan? How is that possible? I just figured it was a Kekkei Genkai that needed to be awakened."

"As far as I know, that's not always the case."

"Then how exactly?"

I lowered my voice considerably. "It's possible to obtain the Rinnegan by combining Uchiha DNA and Senju DNA." His mouth gaped as he looked back in Tsubaki's direction. "That's why Uchiha boys are all over me like _all the damn time_. I'm the only female member of the Senju Clan… and every one of them knows that if I were to birth an Uchiha, it would automatically possess the Rinnegan due to both our bloodlines." I picked at a stray blonde hair sticking out of my bangs as Jiraiya gawked at me from my side.

While we were on this subject, I was reminded of something really creepy my uncle Tobirama told me when I was like, five. "I mean, technically, I don't even have to be knocked up to create it. They could pop out my eyeballs and replace them with a pair of Sharingan. I could open my new eyes and _bam_. There they are, purple rings."

He whistled long and low. "That's fucking weird. Buncha creepy bastards if you ask me," he said, kicking a rock into the wooden fence off to the side.

In all honesty, I sort of liked the attention I received from some of the Uchiha boys. Tsubaki was hot but a little too old for me, and he also made me uncomfortable with his leering. But the boys closer to my age were so sexy—,, especially _Ryuji…._

Ryuji Uchiha was a tall and sculpted man at seventeen, with long spiky hair down to his ribs and deep piercing brown eyes. He was always so quiet, but whenever I was around, he'd flash me the sweetest smile, one that gleamed brighter than the silver studs in his ears. Part of me wishes Uncle Tobirama was still alive so I can see the look on his face, should I ever get the chance to actually bring Ryuji home.

_That would be so priceless._

"Why were you so silent the whole time? I swear, I've seen you lose your shit on someone for _way_ less." He shot me a dirty look from the corner of his eye. The short, red markings underneath his eyes scrunched up a little as he squinted at me accusingly. "That someone is me, I'm talking about me here." I blushed heavily, scratching the back of my neck and avoiding that suspicious glare.

"Trust me, I don't like it," I lied.

 _I very much_ do _like it, and I want Ryuji to suck on my tongue…_

"But Grandpa says it's important for me as a Senju to treat their clan with respect, given our shitty past. And I don't wanna upset him by starting beef with the Uchiha Clan."

I tried not to imagine offering myself to a harem of shirtless Uchiha men like a slab of meat on a platter.

"Lord First said to be _respectful_ to the Uchiha. I'm sure he didn't mean for you to allow them all to completely salivate over you and do _nothing_. Respect needs to go both ways, Hime."

"I didn't do 'nothing,'" I clarified. Baka raised an eyebrow at me like I was making zero sense to him. "I'm _considering_ his offer. Maybe I _do_ want a buncha onion-eyed ankle-biters running around the house someday."

"Onion eyes," Jiraiya snorted. "That's pretty funny." The sky started to bloom with pinks and oranges, signaling the beginning of the end of today. We stopped briefly to admire its beauty. Jiraiya suddenly gave me a pompous bow, his hands coming together at his navel as he bent forward with mock respectfulness. "We must haste, Lady Uchiha." I rolled my eyes at him when he stood back up. "Besides, my dad will eat everything if we don't get there fast enough."

**XXX**

**Tsunade, age 17**

Shortly after turning fifteen, Jiraiya left the village on his own for a couple years to focus on his training with the toad masters. I asked him why he felt the need to go, and he said he would never improve if he stayed in the same place all his life. I supported his decision, already aware of his inability to stay put for too long. However, his departure to Mount Myōboku caused me to fall into a deep and dark depression. There was this suffocating feeling of guilt like I took for granted the best friend I've ever had. In that moment of loss, my world collapsed in on itself. Where there was light became only shadows, the pain coming and going steadily like waves on frigid sand. Though my mind called out for his, the connection was gone. Jiraiya was gone.

Training with him usually brought on its own drama, since he always had a problem controlling his urges, but it was still something I strangely looked forward to. Not so much for his heavy-handed advances, but for the chance to make prolonged eye contact with those onyx eyes, to see the humor drain from his face when he decided to get serious and strike at me. With Jiraiya missing from my daily training sessions, I felt completely and utterly lost.

Rational thoughts could barely form in my mind before they were replaced with the melancholic longing and the fantasies of what could be if only I were brave enough to quit lying to myself. Food became like cardboard, a laborious chore to even eat. I daydreamed about how amazing it would be when I finally get to see Baka's face. I recalled every distinct feature of his, his spiky white locks, that little mole on his nose's left side. I logged all of his quirky mannerisms into my brain. Whenever I was with Orochimaru, I talked of nothing and no one else but him, and now it seemed Orochimaru had started to avoid me because of it. Could it be everyone's bored of hearing it by now, tired of listening to me?

In his absence, I spent most of my time with Jiraiya's parents. I get along well enough with my grandparents, which was great because they were still the clan heads, and you always want to be on the right side of your clan leaders. Despite that, my parents are a completely different story. My father is a lot like my Uncle Tobirama, but in demeanor only, not in looks or skill. He doesn't possess the talents of our clan, and yet his expectations for me have always been astronomically high. My father has forever tried to live vicariously through me, even though I'm technically a prodigy who surpassed him _long_ ago. Recently, though, they were so busy with Nawaki that I felt even more out of place being at home. They really only wanted to discuss shinobi matters with me, and that got real old fast. Without Jiraiya in the village, I slacked off a bit with my training, and my parents eventually took notice. I started to get singled out. My parents never failing to remind me of my standing as a Senju every chance they get. Grandpa would always be at my defense since clan politics always disgusted him, but part of me couldn't help but wonder if maybe he _was_ a little disappointed. I hated myself for making Grandpa's life more difficult.

Luckily, I could be myself around Jiraiya's family with no hesitation. They treated me like I was their family too, even going so far as to call me "daughter" in the years that their son had left. Despite my grandfather's amicable relationship with Jiraiya, my parents didn't approve of our friendship one bit. There was just nothing they could do about it since we were hand-picked by the Third Hokage for his students. My mother and father didn't think it was proper of me, Princess Tsunade, to associate myself with a trouble-making boy from a scandalized family.

There was a reason why Jiraiya's family lived in the apartments on the outskirts of the village. They still resided in the city, but alongside the thick, wooded area on the way to the cemetery. The apartments were cute enough, with a backyard garden full of cherry blossom trees shared by all the other tenants. There was even a beautiful koi pond in the middle of the rock garden outback. But it was still a far cry from the clan compounds that people from prominent clans were living in. I always wondered about it, but I never asked Jiraiya what happened. I only heard whispers that his mother had been caught up in a big scandal involving many of the most distinguished clans in the Leaf, with the Senju Clan at the center of it all. Over the years, Jiraiya had been in quite a few fights with our peers, Orochimaru and I even felt the need to jump in to help many times.

One thing came up every single time.

"Son of a _whore_!"

We jumped in, not because he couldn't handle himself, but because Orochimaru and I hated hearing someone badmouth Jiraiya's mother. The two of us never pressed him about it, though. And whenever Sarutobi-sensei had to inevitably deal with the fallout of our actions, the look on his face clearly told Orochimaru and me not to even bother asking.

So we didn't.

Around the time Nawaki turned two, Jiraiya had been gone for a little over a year. Things at home were much worse than usual. It got so bad that I started to spend less and less time with my precious little brother, opting to be alone somewhere rather than being vehemently scolded by Mom and Dad for whatever reason. If it's not one thing, it's another. Always. Unfortunately, Grandma Mito and Grandpa Hashi couldn't always be there to help me.

Today, it was my mother who was upset with me. _Big surprise there._

My mom was standing in the courtyard, her hands interlocked while she stood in front of the stone fountain. She was alone standing there, waist-length blonde hair swirling fiercely in the wind behind her. She regarded me with hardened eyes as I approached her. When I got close to her, I could see my nervous expression reflected in those cold emeralds she called eyes.

" _Daughter_ ," she sneered. It didn't hold the same reverence as it did when Jiraiya's mom and dad said it. I sighed, preparing for an argument.

"Hi, Mom," I said softly. "Where's little bro?" I ask, looking around guiltily.

_I hate it here. I don't even have a reason to feel guilty, and yet I still do._

"He's out with your grandmother. Where have _you_ been?"

I had spent the day training at Jiraiya's house with his mom, but there was no way in hell I'd offer that information to her. "I was training with Hayami and her clan. My taijutsu is really improving thanks to the Hyuga." I tried to brush past her, but she nearly clotheslined me. I stopped in my tracks, meeting her furious eye.

"If you were training with Hayami, why would she come by today – _alone_ – to return the sakura hakama you let her borrow?" She smirked as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Fuck," I muttered under my breath. _Hayami, you considerate bitch._

"You were with that harlot, weren't you? How many times must we forbid you from associating with _scum_? That boy and his rotten family have nothing of value to offer us. It's bad enough Lord Third was short-sighted enough to put that brat on the same team as you."

The rage I was struggling to keep down bubbled to the surface.

"Your judgments are baseless! They're amazing people, and all you do is disrespect them!"

My mom lurched forward, grabbing me by the hem of my top. "They're trash! I forbid you from visiting that disgrace of a woman. Kagami Hatake is a filthy _whore_ , and you will end up just like her if you're not too careful."

_Hatake? What does she mean by Hatake?_

"I don't even _know_ what a whore _is_! But if Miss Kagami is one, then I want to be one too! She is a wonderful woman and a formidable kunoichi, and I want to be _just_ like her! She is the only one who wants to take the time to train me anymore. Ever since Jiraiya left, Sarutobi-sensei has been devoting all his time to Orochimaru. He's too busy grooming the next Hokage to teach me anything anymore!"

My mother reached backward and backhanded me with all her might. It stung only a little, but the pain inside me was profound. _Mom…_

"My word is final, you insolent little _bitch_!" She jabbed me in the forehead with her finger, slowly advancing as she punctuated each word with gritted teeth and sharp little jabs to my temple.

"I…don't… care… _what_ your excuse is! Disobey me again, and you will be sorry, I _promise_ you that, Tsunade."

Before I could even think, I ran my fist through the stone rose statue of the fountain behind her head. She flinched but didn't move as debris and water showered us both. I shivered miserably as the evening winds chilled my drenched body to the bone. My mother's blonde hair was darkened with water as it hung over her face like a sopping wet mop.

"The day you can beat me in a fight is the day I let _you_ order me around." I snatched my backpack from the ground at my mother's feet. She looked shocked but also enraged beyond belief. "Don't wait up," I muttered lowly as I brushed debris off of my shoulder. The pure unadulterated anger coming from my mom suddenly bloomed into sheer joy, a manic smile creeping its way to her face. That's when I knew it was time for me to get the fuck out of there. She's past being angry; she's at the point where she is looking forward to making me pay. I hoped she didn't see the fear in my eyes as I dashed off. Even though deep down, I know she did.

She always did.

I flew through the village, jumping from rooftop to rooftop. By the time I'd passed the hospital, I could feel my dad following slowly behind. I looked over my shoulder to see that he really was tailing me, slow but steady. I ran faster, trying to get back to Jiraiya's place as soon as possible, even though I already spent all day there. I picked up the pace as I frantically made my way to the only safe place for me that existed. The bitter irony of it all is hard for me to choke down. My grandfather helped found this village, yet the only place where I felt safe was in some rundown apartment.

I planted my feet in the center of the water tower, using my legs' strength to gain momentum in the air. I could hear the loud crunch of metal as I jumped, and I knew Lord Third and Danzō would give me shit about it later. But that wasn't a problem for now. I soared through the air, hearing distant gasps and gossip from down below as I landed on the balcony rail of the Hokage's mansion.

I looked through the glass helplessly, hoping that Sarutobi-sensei would read the situation and come between my dad and me. But as I peered inside, I saw the bewildered face of Lord Third as he turned in his seat. In front of him were a squad of ANBU and several shinobi from Intel. I could see the startled face of Inoichi Yamanaka's father as I distracted from what was most likely a very crucial mission report. I couldn't have shown up at a worse time. Lord Hokage looked at me expectantly, waiting for me to stop staring at all of them. "Take it somewhere else!" he screamed at me through the wall of glass between us. I nodded and jumped again, bending the bars of the railing with a screeching crunch.

I never stopped running, jumping from tree to tree, building to building. I wiped the sweat from my forehead, exhausted, not from physical exhaustion, but from fear of what my dad plans on doing to me. I know I talk a lot of shit about my dad's lack of skill, but there is one elite skill that he's possessed for some time, and I planned to avoid it at all costs. There was a reason my dad was the commanding officer of the Konoha Torture and Interrogation Force. My legs nearly broke from beneath me and collapsed onto the nearest branch. My heart started racing, and I knew that I couldn't quit. I had to keep going. Branches constantly attacked me, leaves crunched under my feet, and big, brown logs seemed to appear out of nowhere as if to halt me. But I still pushed forward. I wanted to stop before my lungs gave out on me, unable to calm myself in the face of terror. My blonde hair was matted with sweat, my arms and legs all bruised and cut, and my clothes looked like rags, dirty and tattered. I looked like a leaking pipe, but still, I had to escape him.

I made it to the bottom of the hill on the path to the backyard garden of Jiraiya's apartment complex when my dad caught up with me. Off in the distance, I could see the stretch of land covered in headstones. I switched tactics, whipping my body around to face him and flung a kunai at his shoulder. He wasn't expecting me to attack, not used to engaging in combat that wasn't entirely one-sided. It sliced open his burgundy robe at his shoulder, crimson liquid flowing freely down his arm and blending into the fabric. I concentrated my chakra to my fists, ready to pummel his head before he got the chance to hurt me again.

But my luck had long run out.

Using one of the few jutsus my father excelled at, he paralyzed me with a complex set of hand signs. My body slammed into the dirt and grass mid-stride. I could see my father's feet as he stood calmly off to the side of my head. He was wearing traditional sandals with stiff, white tabi socks. He used his big toe to nudge my petrified body, rolling me roughly, so my back hit the ground. I stared up at the evening sky, the sun almost ready to set. Tears slid into my ears silently as I waited for him to start.

"You worthless cunt," he growled. "You thought you were really doing something earlier, weren't you?" he mocked.

I couldn't move, but I could still scream. "Leave me alone!"

"Quiet, you little bitch. All you've really done is put the last nail in your coffin." He kicked me in the rib, but I sucked in my cry of pain, not wanting to see the frisson of excitement in my own father's eyes at my suffering.

"As if I fucking care!"

My dad continued on as if I'd never even spoken. From the corner of my eyes, I could see his robe brandishing the colors of our clan, twisting boldly behind him in the wind. "We don't need you anymore, _daughter_. You've proven to be a useless heir for many years now."

"Oh, _I'm_ useless? Because I didn't inherit the fucking Wood Style? Sounds like someone else I know," I spit out in rage. The bottom of his sandal made a deafening slap against my forehead, wrenching my head to force me to look to the side.

"You can insult your father all you'd like, but you will _never_ lead the Senju. You are nothing more than a barely significant bargaining chip I could use to marry you off to another clan. Your brother will restore our clan to greatness one day while you birth your husband's meaningless whelps."

This was something he's said to me before, yet something inside me snapped. I laid there paralyzed, but unhinged.

"I don't give a fuck about leading the clan! Our clan is _bullshit_. There has only been one cool Senju, and that is Grandpa Hashi. You didn't inherit the Mokuton, neither did Uncle Tobirama, I didn't, I doubt Nawaki will either! When will you realize that our family's mighty legacy already ended because of _you_ , the talentless son of the God of Shinobi? Grandpa creates life with the palms of his hands; you only know how to destroy and cause pain. And it can't even be used in combat. You're so useless you don't even get scheduled for missions, you're only of use when someone needs to be tortured. Fuck you, dad. If you weren't restraining me, I would crush you. And you fucking know it!"

Everything was silent, but the wind and my huffing breaths. I knew I shouldn't have said any of it. All I've done is make things worse for myself, as usual. Because my father surprisingly has another skill. He can cause you immense pain once you're stuck in his paralysis. All he needed to do was turn his outstretched fingers into a fist, and my body suddenly felt like it was on fire.

He knows when he sees my eyes brimming with tears that he should relent before people in the village start talking about us again. But he doesn't stop, because that's something a decent person would do. Only when I'm openly weeping and broken does he stop. He'd always pretend to feel guilty afterward, but that never stopped him before, and it wouldn't stop him this time. He enjoys abusing me too much. And we were too far from Grandma and Grandpa for them to stop this before it even started. As usual, I was on my own.

Searing shots of pain ran up and down my body, a scream escaping my cracked lips as the devastating sounds bounced off of the trees. My father was now crouching next to me, soaking in my anguish with a forced look of indifference. As if to pretend as though this was a simple matter of disciplining one's child, rather than an excuse to lash out on someone he truly hates. _Me_.

His presence at my side was like an iron fire poker digging into my rib. I glanced over to see my father struggling to hide a smile before giving up and letting a gleeful grin stretch across his face. He was conventionally handsome, but whatever charm he once had was now long gone. His crimson hair was long and unruly, and dark circles outlined those bloodshot brown eyes. His skin was paler than the tanned skin the rest of our clan had. He hadn't spent too much time outside in quite some time. I hated everything about him, his light brown eyes- my eyes- and the beautiful red hair he didn't deserve that he inherited from Granny Mito.

_Fucking die already!_

Father didn't seem at all bothered by the screams pouring out of me, his only daughter. If anything, he seemed amused by my pain. His stony-eyed stare raked over my twitching body before him as if he were inspecting a freshly plucked turkey, ready to be rubbed with herbs and put in the oven. The sunset rays above reflected off the beads of sweat that settled on my dad's forehead.

My agony was his entertainment.

After what felt like hours, he finally released me from his hold. My mind screamed for me to retaliate, but my body wouldn't respond. Sending a single punch to my stomach, my father stood up fully and began to leave, but not without giving me one last lingering glance to the daughter he claimed to everyone that he loved.

"Don't bother coming home."

"Like it's up to you. It's Grandpa's house, not yours."

He whipped back around, and before I knew it, I was back in his hold again. He clenched his fist, the pain once again coursing through me.

"Lord First won't live forever, you know. One day, Tsunade, I'm going to marry you off, and my family will finally be able to wash the stain of you off our legacy. I won't even accept a dowry for trash like you. You are nothing to us."

"Hiroki Senju!" A deep voice cut through my screams and my father's low threats. I instantly knew who the voice belonged to. "Release her now, you piece of shit!"

From the top of the hill, I could see a giant figure bounding towards us. Jiraiya's father barreled down the path, sharp katana bouncing against his hip. My father looked like he wanted to flee, but he quickly straightened up and faced the larger man with a prideful, calculating glare.

"Sanjiro," my father spit out with derision.

Sanjiro is a very tall, well-built man who towered over everyone in our village. He had waist-length, spiky black hair that he usually ties back into a long ponytail that hangs past his waist, with two shoulder-length bangs framing his face. He often wore the standard Konoha-nin uniform, but right now, he was careening towards us shirtless with a pair of threadbare drawstring pants he always wore when Kagami did the laundry. Like Jiraiya, there were red lines under Sanjiro's eyes, but his markings extended further down his face, whereas Jiraiya's were only about two inches long. His sharp, chiseled face still looked youthful, aside from the laugh lines he had developed around the corners of his mouth. He had a large, smooth mole on the left side of his nose that his wife would always lovingly kiss as he laughed and pushed her face away.

He wasn't laughing right now, though. I'd never seen him look so angry as he watched my father with revulsion.

"Tsunade, can you move?" Sanjiro asked me frantically. I nodded my head from my spot on the ground, my arms wrapped around myself as shivers wracked my still soaked body. "Run inside, sweetie. Kagami will take care of you."

I wanted to do as I was told, but I didn't want him to involve himself with my father once again. Bad things always happened to people who dared cross him.

"Please don't do anything," I cried brokenly. "He isn't worth it."

He looked down at me, smiling sadly. "Yes he is, my dear. Go on inside, I promise I'll handle this. It'll be okay."

I was too afraid to leave him alone with my dad. I knew he was a formidable fighter, especially with a sword. But my dad lacked honor and has never been afraid to fight absolutely dirty. Instead of leaving, I allowed him to physically put himself in between my dad and me.

"You sound awfully confident for someone raised by _samurai_ trash. One day, you and the rest of your pathetic family will be banished from the Leaf. Mark my words. You've never had the right to live amongst us, Sanjiro."

Sanjiro never lowered his sword, just cracked his neck as he looked at my father with amusement.

"My father was a samurai, but my mother was a kunoichi of the Leaf. I have every right to be here. It's _you_ who doesn't belong. Your parents are the most astounding ninja in our country's history, and yet their only child is… a pathetic jackass?" Sanjiro popped his jaw and cracked a fierce smile. "You've never been anything but a _stain_."

The smirk on my father's face completely fell. I couldn't help but shiver with terror at what was to come. My dad balefully raised his hands to perform his hand signs, when suddenly a woman's voice rang through the clearing.

" _Hiroki_!" I turned to see Miss Kagami screaming from the rock garden. "Get the fuck away from my man before I rip you to _shreds_!"

Her rage held all the power of a wildfire. You could practically see the flames roaring in her eyes from all the way over here, ready to ignite anything that she came in contact with. The closer she advanced on us, the more visible her rage became. It was clear she saw nothing but pulsing reds. Her fingers coiled into fists around the handles of her kunai. Waves of fury rolled off her as the blood rose to her fair cheeks. The term anger, barely even touched the tip of the volcano that she so clearly was in at that moment. My dad's hands fell to his sides. I'd never seen him so intimidated in my life. I couldn't keep the smile from taking over my face at my father's expense. Trailing at her side and behind her were four snarling ninja dogs. _Oh, shit, she really isn't fucking around!_

Jiraiya's mother, Kagami, is easily the most beautiful kunoichi in the entire village. She's tall and slender, with an enviable hourglass frame. She has the most beautiful shade of sapphire eyes tinged with green around the pupils. Her hair-which, she usually wore down-was long, silky, and silver. The color of her hair did not age her one bit, though. Right now, it was styled in a long, spiky fanned-ponytail because she had been training me earlier today. She regularly wears a fitted mesh bodysuit that covers her from her neck down to her thighs, along with a black miniskirt, an aqua blue haori with shuriken printed all over the fabric, and pale grey shin guards. She was currently wearing one of Sanjiro's giant black yukatas over her bodysuit, her forehead protector still on from our training session.

Kagami may be an outcast in her own village, but there were always still whispers about how she is the most desirable woman that resides here to this day.

My dad sneered at her hatefully. "Oh, look. If it isn't the village whore."

Sanjiro growled.

My father's words didn't affect Kagami whatsoever. She just laughed bitterly and entered her battle stance, her ninken dogs poised to strike. "A whore who still never fucked _you_."

Despite the situation, Sanjiro started guffawing at his wife's words. "No matter how many times he tried."

What little color my dad's pallid skin contained quickly drained from his face. He was white as chalk, which was a sharp contrast to his scarlet hair. Me? My eyes and mouth were frozen wide open in an expression of stunned surprise, and although I was staring straight at Dad, he appeared not to notice me at all. He just stood there dumbly, looking stupefied.

The words came out before I could stop them.

"What the _fuck_!"

The three adults around me all completely ignored my outburst. Kagami concentrated her wind chakra to the blades of her kunai, sharpening them considerably. My dad gulped but still dared to antagonize her.

"Are you seriously threatening your better?" He asked incredulously.

Sanjiro snorted with glee. "You actually think you're superior, twat? You know _one_ jutsu."

Kagami chimed in with laughter as she stepped closer to my dad. "That's a laugh. I was in the ANBU Black Ops, I know you already know that. And I don't need a little justu to torture your feeble ass."

"I don't need a jutsu to take you peasants down."

"Last time we saw you on our property, you burned down our farm and nearly killed our son," Sanjiro declared with hatred. "Now you've come back… to torture your own daughter? Big man, you are."

Kagami rushed him, grabbed him by the throat, and sweeping her leg, she effortlessly took down my father, who didn't even bother to put up a fight. She tightened her fingers around his jugular, keeping him in place in the dirt. "If I hear about you or your _bitch_ wife hurting Tsuna again, I will have my dogs rip you apart. And the same goes for you showing up at my house. It's a fuckin' promise, Hiroki."

My dad turned his head to spit at their feet. "Fuck you, Hatake whore." His eyes met mine for the first time since Jiraiya's parents showed up. "Tsunade, you're banished from the compound. I hope for your sake you said goodbye to your little brother. Your face is no longer welcome here anymore."

I tried to put on a brave face, but his words broke me to my core.

"It wasn't welcome before either. Plus, you don't have the authority."

_Grandpa Hashi would never let that happen._

"Like I said earlier. You won't always have someone there to save your ass like usual. Don't think about coming back."

He dusted off his burgundy robes, the proud colors of the renowned Senju Clan. I felt bile start to rise while I turned his words over in my head. Fright seized me as I considered the safety of my grandparents. My father wasn't strong enough to take them head-on, but he was dishonorable enough to unseat them both in other ways, and I didn't want to consider the possibilities. Especially after finding out he's the reason Jiraiya's family lives in this part of town after the house fire…

I don't recall the walk up to the apartment. I was stuck watching my father's retreating form until suddenly I was in the warm, familiar space of Kagami and Sanjiro's home. It was technically more modern compared to how most of us lived in the village. It was a Japanese-style raised bungalow with a balcony in the back and a staircase on the unit's side. There were six of them next to each other that made up the apartment complex. Jiraiya's bedroom faced the garden out back, and I envied his view all the time.

Kagami rubbed my arms, shocking me with how cold my skin had become. "Tsuna, how about you take a bath while we cook you up something hot to eat?"

At that moment, there was nothing more in the world I wanted than to do just that.

I nodded, trying to smile to reassure her. Tears slid down instead.

"Ohhhh, _honey_."

Two pairs of strong arms wrapped around me as sobs wracked my body.

"You will never overstay your welcome here, sweetheart," Sanjiro whispered, tightening his hold around his wife and me. "No one can hurt you here."

Kagami kissed me on the cheek, her eyes searching mine. There was concern in her gaze, but also an unfathomable amount of love. It made me happy to know this is what Jiraiya gets to come home to. It is no wonder he is the kind of person he is, being raised by these two amazing people.

"Jiraiya-kun's room is yours for now. I'm having a talk with Lord Third tomorrow. You will see your little brother again, Tsuna. I promise." Kagami smoothed my hair back, and I leaned into her touch. She let me without hesitation.

"And if your parents want to keep being difficult, I'll collect all your things, and you can stay here for as long as you want. We love you, baby." Sanjiro kissed me on the forehead.

"I love you guys, too. I don't know what I'd do without either of you."

When it came to my family… I had to learn how to take care of myself, deal with my own problems, and not lean on anyone, learn how to fix myself alone after each painful fall, and find the road to real wellness. I guess there's a reason warriors and heroes have parts of their story alone, the part where they psychologically mature into a person others can rely on. The journey is brutal, ruthless. But currently being surrounded by these two compassionate, mighty parents, I started to wonder if this really was the journey I was meant to embark on. _Maybe life doesn't have to be so hard all the time…_

Kagami made a bath for me, even taking the time to add petals and soap to make it look more luxurious. I was so tired I didn't also take the time to examine what kind of flowers I was bathing in. I just slid down into the water, letting it block out the rest of the world's sounds. Next to me on the sink was a pile of Jiriaya's white robes with the red flames at the bottom. They ended up being tight around my chest, considering these were clothes he wore as a child. But no one has seen him in some time now, so this is simply all we had of him. And I honestly didn't want to wear anything else.

_How spoiled is Baka that he has his own bathtub, yet he chooses to perv out at the hot spring?_

Mushroom soup, bitter greens with tomatoes the size of peas, rare roast beef slices as thin as paper, noodles in a green sauce, cheese that melts on your tongue served with sweet blue grapes. It was more than I could've hoped for. They even gave me my first taste of sake, which surprisingly made everything feel very... _okay_.

Later that night, after a round of hugs, I retired to their son's cozy room. I reverently rubbed my fingers along his soft mattress. I was so used to my cold, minimalist room at home. I was used to my stupid futon on the floor. His comforter was thick and irresistibly soft, like a billowing cloud. I toppled onto it, relieved to rest my weary feet. Warmth and darkness enveloped me. My thoughts were full of Jiraiya. Hoping he was happy and enjoying himself, but still ready to come home to us soon.

As my consciousness ebbed, my mind went into a free fall, swirling with the beautiful chaos of a new dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i want to apologize for promising regular updates and then not giving you guys anything for two months... that was scummy. ive been dealing with major health issues this whole time and im still concentrating on getting better. ive also put my participation in the protests against police brutality first because its such a major issue out here in america. it honestly feels like this country is imploding on itself right now. im going to do what i can to keep writing this story i love. life is just crazy here right now. i thank you all for still reading and for being patient. you guys are amazing.


	6. Daughter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsunade learns of Jiraiya's mother's painful past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tsunade pov, dialogue heavy

**Tsunade, age 17**

The weeks that followed my banishment were the most peaceful I'd had in a long time. I almost felt like a child again. I now get to spend my days with Kagami Hatake training, cooking, making music and art, even _dancing_. I've never been so free to do any of these things when my parents were around. But in Jiraiya's home, I could be as creative and frivolous as I pleased.

There were ceaseless whispers throughout the village regarding my family drama. Seemingly a lot of people were surprised to hear Princess Tsunade is prohibited from staying at the Senju Compound. It didn't take long before rumors began to swirl about me. People throughout town would speculate about the nasty things I must have done to disgrace the family. It kind of sucked, but at least my friends seemed to have my back. Orochimaru scared everyone into submission if he heard so much as a light joke at my expense. I was grateful, but dealing with hurtful gossip was still miles better than actually being at home. At least, that's what I keep telling myself. Part of me still feels out of place with all this freedom. And I miss my brother dearly. As much fun as I'm having, it felt unnatural to be without Nawaki, Granny Mito, and Grandpa Hashi. Thinking back on that situation between my dad and Jiraiya's parents left me with so many unanswered questions.

One morning, Kagami and I were in the kitchen, mincing vegetables for an omelet. Sanjiro was taking their Shiba Inu, a chunky dog named Taro, out on a walk through the village before breakfast time. It took me a while to muster up enough courage to even fix my mouth to ask her, but with the two of us alone, I felt like this was the ideal time to get answers.

I clenched my jaw to keep my voice from shaking.

"Kagami-sama?"

She didn't look up from the mushrooms she was chopping, her long silver locks curtaining the sides of her face as she concentrated on the task at hand. "Yes, baby?"

"I know it's none of my business…" I trailed off, uncertain as to how I wanted to phrase it. I watched her movements still as she slowly and silently placed the knife on the wooden cutting board and walked to the sink to wash her hands. I bowed my head in shame, afraid I'd upset her so early in the morning. She clearly knew what I was about to ask.

Kagami sighed tiredly, wiping her hands on a hand towel before tossing it on the counter. "It absolutely _is_ your business." I looked over at her to see her regarding me sadly. "I'll tell you what happened. But I need to sit down," she said, gesturing to the big round table in the kitchen corner. "If you don't mind taking over breakfast today?"

I nodded emphatically. "I don't mind!" _Please, just tell me!_ She pulled out a chair to the table on my right and sat down. I reached up, grabbing a big mixing bowl for the eggs. I cracked a dozen of them and washed the stickiness off my hands. I started chopping garlic while I waited for her to start.

I glanced over to see her picking at the wood of the table, both of her ears bright red. Kagami let out a deep breath, her cheeks ballooning up a little. She looked as though she wanted to fall through the floor of the kitchen. She covered her face with her hands, looking thoroughly embarrassed. "I promise I'll tell you, it's just really… _bad_." I almost couldn't make out her words because they were so muffled.

"We don't have to get into it. I'm sorry for bringing it up, honest." I put my hands up in surrender, hoping we can just drop it. I hated making her feel uncomfortable. "I just… don't know what a _whore_ is? I'm sorry..."

Kagami looked at me with wide eyes, her hand clamping down over her mouth. I immediately bowed, my forehead slamming onto the kitchen floor as I frantically begged for her forgiveness. "My apologies, that was really out of line!" I screamed into the tatami, my hands stiffly at my sides.

I heard muffled snorting, so I looked up to see Kagami laughing into her hand. "Tsunade?"

"Yes?" My voice was still faint.

"Oh my _god_. Please get up, you are fine," she answered, clutching her sides with mirth.

I stood back up, rubbing the sore spot on my forehead.

"You didn't upset me, okay? That was just so funny I wasn't expecting it." She got up from the table to pour some hot tea in her favorite teacup, a ceramic cup with little dogs painted all over it. She walked back to her seat, blowing on her tea with little puffs. She crossed a leg over her knee and settled in. "I suppose I should start by saying that a whore is a person, usually a woman, who freely gives their body to whoever they please."

I scratched my eyebrow. "Uhh... like sex?"

She gave me an awkward, tight-lipped smile.

"Yes. Like sex," Kagami deadpanned, nodding slowly at me like I was dense. I blushed sheepishly. "The men and women who provide sex in exchange for money also get referred to as whores. And sluts, harlots..."

"Hmmm." I started washing my hands in the sink while I considered her explanation. _Whores, sluts. What's the big deal?_

"Well, I don't see what's so wrong about any of that, if I'm being honest."

She took a sip of her tea. "I agree with you there. But still, it's meant to be derogatory." I used a knife to slide the garlic and mushrooms from the cutting board into the egg mixture. I rinsed off a bundle of watercress before tossing it onto the cutting board.

"It's coming up on 20 years… when this all started. I was only 16 years old. I'd just been promoted to Jōnin. I was the pride and heir of the Hatake Clan. I was young, mastering all kinds of different jutsu that my very own sensei created himself. I was on top of the world, and things were so simple. All I cared about was my little brother, my friends, and training to become Hokage."

"You have a younger brother?"

She nodded slowly, raising an eyebrow at me. "Damn, you seriously didn't know? My brother is Sakumo Hatake."

I blinked. "Your brother is the White Fang of the Leaf?"

"Yeah, I know, he's so cool. But back then, he was just a little guy in his first year at the Academy.”

My hands were busy chopping watercress. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see her set her teacup down.

"Anyway, life for me was changed forever when my sensei developed an attraction to me. It was highly inappropriate but also incredibly subtle. He'd sort of disguised it as special treatment to throw off anyone suspecting him of misconduct. When the news between us came out, all of my teammates knew it was wrong but it was too late to do anything about it. They were all too scared to even speak up, all but one."

Riveted, I waited for her to continue. "Who spoke up for you? Was it Sanjiro?"

It's rude to ask so many questions while she's trying to tell me a story. But I've always wondered how Kagami and Sanjiro met.

She shook her head.

"Oh, Jiro wasn't on my squad. His sensei was your own grandmother, Lady Uzumaki." My eyebrows shot up at this random new tidbit of information. "He learned quite a great deal about sealing jutsu from her, and it's her teachings that helped shape him in becoming such an impressive Weapons Expert."

"I had no idea. I'm sorry for all the questions, but who was it that spoke up for you?"

She sipped her tea as I tried to focus back on cooking our meal, hacking the thick bunches of watercress in halves.

"It was Hiruzen-senpai." I wasn't looking, but her voice held a fondness, almost as if she was blushing.

My hands stopped moving. "Hiruzen- _senpai_?"

Kagami nodded, a slight pink tinge to her cheeks.

"Sarutobi-sensei was on your squad?"

"Yes. But even though we were considered equals in rank, Hiruzen was on an entirely different level than the rest of us. We dubbed him with the nickname 'Professor' because he just seemed to know absolutely _everything_. He was my dearest and closest friend growing up," she said with a distant look on her face. "My squad consisted of me, Sarutobi, and Kagami Uchiha. After becoming Chūnin, sensei would eventually expand the squad to include three more members. Hamura Mitokado, Koharu Utatane, and Danzō Shimura. I'm sure you've met them since they work as advisors to Sarutobi-sensei."

_Oh, I've met those three. I hate those old fucks._

Kagami suddenly burst into laughter, pointing at the look on my face. "I hate those shitheads, too," she laughed, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye. "Always did. My only friends were Hiruzen and Kagami."

"You shared a name with a teammate?"

She chuckled. "Our teacher made us duel for the right to be called by our names. Imagine getting choke slammed to the ground by a scrawny Uchiha kid who didn't even have his Sharingan yet. So early on it was decided I would always just be called Hatake."

I added the watercress to the egg mixture and began to beat it all together.

"We had a different dynamic than other teams. Squads rarely rank up to Jōnin without disbanding shortly after. But we were trained together by a genius and stuck together for a long time. Your team seems to function the same way, actually. I guess it just makes sense to stay if you guys work so well with each other. It was sensei's goal to pass on as much jutsu as he possibly could to all of us so that we would all take on Genin of our own someday to strengthen the next generation using his teachings."

"Who was he?"

She gave me a curious look. "Sarutobi-sensei never told you?"

"He may have? I might not have been paying attention…" I lit the stove, firing up the modest-sized wok, and added a drizzle of sesame oil. I inhaled greedily, the heat bringing out the aromatics in the oil. I tossed in the garlic, chopped some onion and scallions, and sizzled them, stirring it all with a wooden spoon. "Who was it?"

Kagami looked uneasy once the conversation wasn't derailed by my compulsion to ask questions about every little detail. I poured the veggie-egg mixture into the wok in four segments to allow it to come together evenly as one. My stomach rumbled in the silence while I waited for Kagami to answer my question.

She sighed, looking conflicted. I wondered if she regretted agreeing to tell me about this.

"Tsunade, my sensei was the Second Hokage, Tobirama Senju.”

"Uncle Tobirama? I can't believe it! He was always so self-righteous. To think he would cross the line with one of his students—”

Kagami grimaced. "I never even noticed he was until it was too late."

"You don't have to keep going if you feel uncomfortable."

She stopped me. "You're good, Tsuna. I'll keep talking. You just keep cooking, dear."

"Hai," I said, cutting the cooked egg in three sections before folding each one individually. I focused on keeping them neat, exactly like how she does it. The ding of the rice cooker went off behind me as I waited for Kagami to start again. The wok sizzled loud while it cooked the vegetables and egg.

"I would say that I noticed something was odd when I was a little older, during our private sessions. Tobira-sensei hardly praised me all that much in front of the others, even when I would excel. He was pretty tough on me and quick to single me out, although I was very disruptive and disrespectful, so I most likely deserved it. But when we were alone, he seemed to be considerate of my self-esteem and never tried to hide how impressed he was with my progress. And whenever I mastered any of his Forbidden Jutsus, techniques he swore never to teach anyone, he would always take me out to dinner. I never thought it was a big deal, but he wasn't doing that for anyone else." She walked over to the stove to grab the kettle, her teacup in dire need of more tea. She leaned against the counter and watched me cook as she sipped. "One day, he took me to one of the Training Fields for a one on one sparring sesh. Because he was so busy after accepting the mantle of Hokage when your grandfather retired, it wasn't often any of us were allotted one on one training time with Lord Second. So, naturally, I was pumped." She sighed heavily and set her teacup down on the counter, reaching upward to grab plates from the cupboard. I nodded a thank you and gestured for her to sit at the table while I served us.

"Anyway, I was crazed and aggressive, going out of my way to hopefully impress him. I'm sure he might have been holding back with me, but it felt like I was giving Tobira-sensei a run for his money. He folded when I fooled him with his very own technique, the Shadow Clone Jutsu. It was convincing enough that he mistakenly thought I had only made one clone when I made _two_ and watched them strike him from a spot in the tree line. I'll never forget his face; he was flustered, bright red, fumbling over his words like a nervous boy. I couldn't understand what was making him so visibly nervous. My clones apprehended him without my help. I willed them to disappear, and the look on my sensei's face when he was left alone was the most satisfying thing I'd ever seen. When I jumped from the trees to cut his bonds, he looked at me in awe and told me he was treating me to dinner that night. It was meant as a smartass comment, but I told him I wanted fancy tuna. Instead of refusing, he only said it was what I deserved. Tobira-sensei instructed me to wear my nicest festival clothing and to be ready for him to show up at my home later that evening."

I set out three plates, serving each one with a hearty portion of rice. I placed an omelet on top of each pile and started to set the table. I grabbed a jar out of the refrigerator that contained fermented cabbage, a side dish I like to enjoy with pretty much every meal. I emptied it all onto a lone plate and set it in the middle of the breakfast spread. I sprinkled seaweed and sesame seeds on top of our eggs and set out the ketchup, knowing Sanjiro likes to slather his eggs with it. I noticed Kagami finished her tea, so I grabbed the kettle from the stove and poured hot water all over the green tea bag. 

"You're an angel, my dear. Thank you."

"Hai," I said in return. I grabbed our chopsticks, poured some iced tea for Sanjiro, and set out some food for Taro. When I washed my hands in the sink again, I tried to process all this new information but struggled terribly. I cleaned up the counter before pulling out a chair across from her. We never ate without Jiraiya's dad, so she kept talking as our food steamed in front of us.

"I came home to find out that Tobira-sensei had used the Flying Raijin to visit my home before I got there, and asked my cousins to fix me up real pretty for our dinner. I was too naïve to realize this was an actual date. Every time we got some food, it always felt like a teacher-student type thing to me. Not this time. He took me to the fanciest place in town, and I was floored by his behavior all night. Instead of the hard, brutish man I've always known, he was bashful and charming. He showed me his roguish side, something he rarely let any of his students see. I stuffed my face with expensive food, and he looked at me like I was the most beautiful thing in the world. It was strange. I thought he would take me home right after dinner, but instead, we went to the top of the Stone Faces to gaze at the lights of the village. It was all so surreal."

Kagami raised her head from her tea when we heard the front door open.

Sanjiro whistled. "Smells good in here, honey!" He called from the foyer. I could hear the excited taps of Taro's little paws on the tatami floors.

“Tsuna made it! Come get it while it's still hot!" Taro ran straight to Kagami, licking her ankle from under the table. She jumped and pulled both her feet onto her chair to hide them from the dog. He just ran toward mine to lick my toes. When I pointed him to the direction of his food bowl he abruptly abandoned his foot-licking mission.

Sanjiro entered the kitchen, opening the beaded tapestry that hangs in the open doorway to the kitchen in place of a door. He always has to duck his head because he's too tall and wide for their apartment. He walked straight to me and tugged my ponytail lightly, a cheerful pitch to his voice. "Looks good, baby doll." He rubbed his hands together as he eyed the food.

Kagami cleared her throat. "Jiro? You've forgotten something…" She trailed off in a singsong voice, tilting her head at her husband.

He smirked at her and leaned down to kiss her on the forehead. "I forget nothing." He reached a hand out to finger the end of the thick braid. "Beautiful," he murmured, before taking a seat next to his wife. He looked down to see a tall glass of iced tea. "Ahhh," he breathed, looking over at me fondly. "You _remembered_ …"

I smiled, waving my hand at him flippantly and gesturing to my ice tea. "It's easy to remember because it's so delicious."

"I love my girls," Sanjiro said as he broke apart his chopsticks. He put his hand on his heart and blushed. "You even _waited_ for me! Raiya always starts stuffing his face long before I get home." The thought caused me to choke on my tea. _Oh, Baka-chan… I miss you._

Kagami laughed. "Maybe when he comes back, we should start making _him_ take Taro on his morning walk."

Sanjiro gasped. "No way, that's my time. Besides, he can't get himself out of that giant bed of his until the sun comes up. That's why I confiscated his curtains."

"Well, Jiro, you probably should give them back because that's Tsunade's room now."

Sanjiro looked sheepish. "Huh, you're right. I'll put them back up after we eat."

I suddenly felt uncomfortable. "I can't just take over Baka's room. What'll he do when he gets back?"

Kagami laughed. "He can have the den. He's probably too big for that room now anyway. Don't you worry, honey."

"I wouldn't be surprised if he comes back home bigger than _I_ am."

I still wanted to argue about it, feeling guilty for putting out Jiraiya even though he hadn't been home in years. But my stomach started rumbling.

"Well, I know I'm still a growing girl. So I say it's time we eat," I said, bowing my head at the plentiful spread of food before me.

"Itadakimasu," we all declared in unison before digging in.

For the duration of our meal, we listened to Sanjiro describe the mission Lord Third assigned to him and his team of Genin. It was an infiltration mission funded directly by the Daimyo, who also happened to be my other grandfather from my mom's side. He told us he was going to have to get ready soon, but that he'd be returning in a couple of days.

"Do you ladies have any plans for the day?" He asked as he set his dishes in the sink. I walked over to wash them all, but he waved me off, silently insisting he clean up. Before I could speak up, Kagami did.

"Well, first things first, I'm going to clean the kitchen while my man gets ready for his mission." She bumped him with her hip to gain access to the sink.

"Are you sure, baby? It's no bother, just figured you look pretty tired." He placed a hand at the small of her back. "Is something wrong?"

"I'm fine. Just been taking a stroll down memory lane."

Sanjiro grimaced. "Yeesh. Have I entered the story yet?"

"Not yet," she shook her head.

I spoke up. "Kagami-sama?" They both glanced over at me. "Why don't you help him get ready while I clean up the kitchen? There isn't much of a mess anyway. You also look like you could use a break from all this talking."

"I'd appreciate that, honey." She tucked an unruly lock of hair behind my ear. "I promise to catch you up later."

They disappeared to their room upstairs while I started the dishes, contemplating how things started to go so wrong in Kagami's life.

**XXX**

When Sanjiro left, Kagami sat on the couch with me, pulling my head into her lap and playing with my hair. It was one of the things that took some getting used to when I moved in. I'm not used to affection, and yet I'm starving for it. I didn't know what to do with myself when Kagami gave me these tender little caresses and massages.

"I'm sorry for not finishing. I felt awkward talking about it with Jiro right there. He already knows all the details, but I can tell he's not crazy about hearing them again."

"You’re fine, don’t even worry." I closed my eyes and let myself melt into her lap.

"I'm ready to proceed. I have to warn you, though. If I, at any point, divulge too much information, please don't hesitate to stop me."

"You got it, Kagami-sama."

"So remember how I said Tobira-sensei took me to the Stone Faces to look at the sky?"

I nodded in her lap.

"Well, in reality, that's where he seduced me for the first time."

"Oh."

"I mean… we didn't. Y'know. But we did do... _things_. And it was the first time anything of that nature had happened to me. I was weirded out, but also extremely curious. So I welcomed these advances. I even tried to get us to go further, but he reluctantly refused. Tobira-sensei wouldn't explain why it was off the table, but eventually he relented. 'We must save those acts for our wedding night,' he said it so cavalier, like I wouldn't even react. I openly laughed at him, assuming he was messing with me."

Her hands stilled in my scalp. I looked up to see her eyes glazed over, looking distraught.

"He wasn't, though. That's how I found out I was betrothed to my own sensei, promised to the fucking Hokage of all people. I told him that I wasn't ready for anything like that, especially not marriage and motherhood. He seemed perplexed that I was willing to have sex with him but unwilling to marry him. Trying to convince him that I wanted to focus on my career as a shinobi was like having a conversation with a brick wall."

"I'm not surprised about that. Uncle Tobirama was a difficult man," I said, thinking of all the times my Grandpa would yell at his younger brother for telling me scary made-up stories about the Uchiha Clan.

"My father was once a renowned ninja during the Warring States period before the village was established. Years of war changed him, though. Before the village had started, our clan wasn't just shinobi. We were also farmers. The Hatake was always known for being affiliated with the Uchiha. Some of us had even married into the Uchiha Clan to solidify a permanent alliance in exchange for control of our ample food supply. But things changed when Konoha emerged, all the shinobi clans quickly joining the fold. Dad was now the head of the clan, but he was too mentally damaged to lead. He had become someone who was almost always afraid like he never truly left the war. So he started drinking… and drinking. He never stopped, not even when it drove my mother to suicide. He was too sick to be capable enough to fulfill his responsibilities as the head of the clan. Our vast farms dried up, and our fortune spent on nothing but booze. Dad said this marriage between me and sensei would enrich the farms and give the clan some of our autonomy back, so we wouldn't have to be in debt anymore. He kept saying everything was so much bigger than me, that it was my duty to save the clan. I eventually came to agree, although it was begrudgingly."

My heart was hurting for Lady Kagami. If I ever am unlucky enough to become Hokage, I would make arranged marriages illegal in the Land of Fire.

"It took me a while to get there, though. I fought with Tobirama non-stop, until things between us were seemingly unfixable. But he wouldn't understand! He kept saying I should be relieved. That I was _lucky_ to become the wife of the Hokage! He had some asinine point for every one of my protests. I told him I didn't want to marry a man as old as my father, he simply says he's a Senju who doesn't look a day over 25. I told him I'm still technically a child, he says that girls younger than me are legal to be married and that technically I'm a _woman_. When I reminded him that my only dream was to become Hokage, he said that even if I _did_ become strong enough for the job, it would still never happen. He would personally see to it that it never does. Tobirama finally suggested I learn to do as I'm fucking told and accept that I will be married to him and pregnant with his child within the year. The man I respected and revered more than anyone in the world crushed the very dream he helped cultivate."

"So, what did you do?"

"I… gave my virginity to someone else. I'm sure Tobirama suspected, but to this day, I don't think he knew if it happened or not."

"Sanjiro?"

"No… If I tell you, do you promise not to tell anyone, particularly Jiraiya?"

I nodded.

"It was, um, Sarutobi-sensei."

_Now the whole senpai thing is starting to make sense._

"Oh." I blinked slowly. "But he's so... _old_."

"He may have physically aged faster than most of our generation, but being Hokage probably ages you. I can assure you, 20 years ago, Sarutobi-sensei was a very young and _attractive_ man."

I was speechless.

"As kids, it was apparent to everyone who knew us that we harbored feelings for one another. Perhaps if we both didn't get betrothed to others, we might have ended up with each other."

"That is some pretty heavy information."

Kagami shrugged. "We were just kids. It was only that first time, and then never again. Soon after, he was married off to Biwako. And me, to Tobirama Senju. I moved into the compound immediately following our wedding. I felt empty and out of place being there. I requested my brother to come with me, but my father declined. Your grandparents were kind to me, and it wasn't long that I struck a friendship with your grandmother. She was my childhood hero, so I was eager to make her fond of me. Having her on my side made things a little easier. Unfortunately, her son was a big problem."

"My father?"

"Yes. Tsunade, I'm sorry to tell you this, but your father personally terrorized me during my time at the Senju Compound."

"I'm sorry. I'm not surprised."

"You had nothing to do with it, kid. But it's true, your father made my life so difficult, especially with my husband regularly busy with village matters. He took advantage of my vulnerability, and your grandparents were ignorant of his actions for quite some time. Sometimes, late in the night, Hiroki would come into my room and paralyze me. I still could scream, but I chose not to avoid causing friction with the Senju. He would say these terrible things about what he could get away with doing to me. He informed me that screaming would prompt him to tell my husband I seduced him so that he could scandalize me and hopefully get me banished from the village. His goal was to get me to sleep with him without protest."

I felt nauseous, knowing in my heart every bit of what she said was real.

"Hiroki was only two years younger than me, but way behind in being a capable shinobi. Lady Mito asked her most gifted student to personally train him, to hopefully sharpen his skills and bring him up to speed with his peers. That student was Sanjiro."

"Sanjiro was my father's sensei?"

"Pretty much. Not that Hiroki ever acknowledged him as such. It embarrassed him to no end that someone so close to him in age was superior enough to be his teacher."

"Sounds like Dad." I rolled my eyes. "That's how you and Sanjiro met?"

"Well, I knew who he was. Everyone kind of did, in a lowkey way. Sanjiro's parents were killed brutally during an ambush from Sand ninja when he was just a little boy. The first funeral I ever attended was for Sanjiro's mother and father. He was quiet after their death. I had been assigned to a few missions alongside him as a kid, but I never got to know him because he was so aloof. He loved to draw, which was out of place for a shinobi. If he wasn't training vigorously with scrolls and weapons, he was sketching or painting something in the sunlight. He did a lot of art while training your dad because he was so bored all the time and Hiroki didn't take things seriously anyway. But without warning, he was at the compound every day, and it wasn't long before we grew to be good friends."

The hate my parents held for Jiraiya's parents never made sense to me, but as she told her story, things started to come together.

"Sanjiro and I quickly bonded over how much we couldn't stand Hiroki. Your grandparents didn't supervise Sanjiro's sessions, so we would just clown on him whenever he'd act like a dick. Which was all the time. Sanjiro would still try to give Hiroki chances to redeem himself, but I would always just straight-up treat him like shit. When your father threatened me one too many times, I gave in and told Sanjiro. He took him into the forest and beat the absolute shit out of your dad, Tsuna. I tried to help cover it up with my limited skills in medical-ninjutsu. It... was not the right thing to do. I'm very sorry."

"Kagami-sama, please don't apologize to me. I'm sorry my dad is such a monster."

"It's not your fault, baby." She sighed. "Things cooled off with your dad for a short time until his rage boiled over again. He snapped, entering my room at night in an attempt to violate me. He paralyzed me to do just that, but his skills weren't advanced enough to stop the concentration of my chakra. I spit out a fireball from deep within my belly, melting the skin of his shoulder clean off before he dishonoured me further."

_Kagami-sama was the one to give him that scar?_

"I could no longer hide it from Tobirama or your grandparents. Your grandparents expressed their regret over Hiroki's behavior and never once reprimanded me for deforming him. It troubled me to leave matters the way that I did, but I didn't feel safe with the Senju. I demanded to move back to the Hatake Clan compound, but my husband wouldn't allow it. Lord Second didn't want the other clans to gossip about why the Hokage's wife refuses to live in their marital home. I had to force Tobirama to visit me with my physician. That was the only way I could convince him how unhealthy I was. My doctor informed him that our difficulty getting pregnant was due to the stress of me living there. The solution was to relocate me to the living quarters of the Hokage Mansion. It took _another_ man's word to finally convince my fucking husband to keep me safe. The threat of not getting what he needed out of me, a child, ultimately changed Tobirama's mind. He also felt an overwhelming pressure for me to become with child because he believed that war was brewing and that he would die in it. Lord Hokage desperately needed me to become a mother before that happened. The mansion is where I stayed for the next year, attempting to become pregnant with the new heir of the Senju Clan."

"Oh my god," I whispered, tears rolling down my face.

Kagami didn't shed any tears. She only looked haunted as if she once again was living through those frightening times.

"I thought things would improve now that I had a distance from Hiroki. On that front, they were better. However, it was the first time in my life I felt utterly alone. My spirit was suffocating with isolation, the only person I'd ever get to see was Tobirama, and he was so busy we seldom had time together. It was just me and the buzzing chakras from the ANBU assigned to guard over me. I would just sit at home alone, teaching myself how to play the flute because there was nothing else to do. It was just as arduous visiting my family because I couldn't see Sakumo without our dad berating me for failing to hold up my end of the bargain, always screaming about how I owe the Senju a baby for fortifying the Hatake Clan. Tobirama made sure I could no longer confide in Hiruzen by marrying him off to Biwako's stupidly wealthy family. They were married only a few months before me and Lord Hokage. Only, she was lucky enough to become pregnant with Hiruzen's daughter three months later. My days with my best friend were now over. That wasn't even what bothered me the most. Not seeing Sanjiro's face every day annihilated me. Without realizing it, he had become the center of my universe, but I'd lost the only appropriate excuse to be around him all the time. My husband could easily see where I am at all times."

"I can't imagine what that's like," I mumbled brokenly.

Kagami continued. "Finally, a miracle happened. Tobirama and I were expecting a child. Although it was a relief, it brought on a whole new set of fears and anxieties. Physically, I'm healthy. Mentally, I'm tormented by the daunting new responsibilities of motherhood. My doctor was able to convince Lord Second to let me out of my cage more often. Even though I had already pleaded with my husband, telling him it wasn't healthy for his baby to keep me locked up and sad. I took advantage of my freedom and used this new time to see Sanjiro, right under my husband's nose. My actions were innocent enough, but my motives were anything but wholesome. I wasn't happy without Sanjiro in my life. I didn't hesitate to let him know. My rotten luck was fully revealed when Sanjiro admitted he'd loved me since we were children, but never worked up the nerve to tell me. It was a tragic revelation."

"I don't understand. If you were pregnant with Tobirama's child, how did you end up with Sanjiro?"

_How does Jiraiya even exist?_

Kagami's lip trembled, her shoulders quaking with anguish.

"Up until this point, Tobirama and I had been through so much together. And after years of trying, we were going to be parents. It was truly happening. I was catching a break, the crushing burden of sheer agony I endured for the entirety of our marriage ultimately suppressed. The news of finding out I would be a mother to a healthy baby girl made everything worthwhile. Things between my husband and I appeared to be recovering. It still wasn’t what I wanted, Tobirama wasn’t the man I wanted, but I was slowly starting to see a future as Lady Senju."

Kagami was clearly upset but proceeded.

"But soon, my world once again was brought down by fate. Tobirama had been right all along about his instincts. The peace that existed amongst the other developing ninja villages was no more. It was most likely due to the Hidden Leaf Village's overwhelming wealth disparities compared to the other villages. The First Shinobi World War had begun. I was five months along, Hiruzen and Kagami at my sides in front of Lord Second's desk. I cried, scared to lose the father of my child while I'm in the Leaf. Lord Hokage informed me that I would be at his side the entire time. He saw me as too powerful to stay home, even if it meant gambling with the lives of both his wife and his unborn child. I was to be on the front lines alongside him and the rest of our team. That moment was so surreal; I witnessed Tobirama choose the village over our child in real-time. I've always loved our village with all of my heart, but when he told me I would be fighting, with our daughter still growing inside me, I fucking snapped. I attacked the Hokage. My teammates had to pull me off of him. Every sacrifice I ever made for the Senju, all the pain I suffered, it would all be for nothing if we died. But that didn't matter to my husband, because it was his duty to protect everyone in the village. These were the kinds of choices shinobi had to make, especially ones responsible for the lives of so many people. It was just my poor luck to be married to the man in charge."

I grabbed Kagami's hand and rubbed circles into her trembling skin. I concentrated chakra to the area in hopes of relaxing her. She gave me a small smile as a thank you.

"It's painful for me to describe what happens next, so I'm going to be brief. The war was insane. Everyone on each side was doing some fucked up shit. Me? I did some real fucked up shit. If you ever go to war, Gods forbid, just remember you will do things that stay with you for life. Think about that with every decision you make on and off the battlefield."

I nodded.

"I killed so many shinobi. I was like a bloodthirsty creature fighting for survival. The fear of losing my daughter was so great I would've killed anyone before they ever got the chance to harm me. Many ninja in my generation were unnecessarily cruel, eager for their first taste of legitimate war. I wasn't a sadist, but I was calculating and ruthless. If you weren't Hidden Leaf, you received no mercy from me. I would flood entire battlefields before Konoha-nin arrived, shaping the water into tendrils to pull enemies down by their feet or legs, drowning them before the battle even started. My husband taught me the Flying Raijin. Together we would teleport to opposite ends of one battlefield and slaughter entire factions within seconds. My orders were to commit mass murder, and I complied with the hope that it would save my child in the end. The village used to regard me for my actions in the first war, calling them accomplishments. But Tsunade, I'm going to hell for what I did."

"You could never go to hell, Kagami-sama. You didn't create the shinobi world."

"I've just been ashamed for so long. I don't know. Everyone in my family always has been sensitive, I guess. I wasn't even there for the whole war. After months of fighting, Tobirama decided to make an Escort Unit to guide me off the grounds to return to the Leaf and prepare for the birth of our daughter, Moriko Senju."

I was sobbing quietly, mourning the loss of a cousin who was never born.

"We had spent our time thus far pummelling Kumogakure into submission. However, a band of twenty rogue Cloud Ninja surrounded us. The moment Tobirama always feared had finally come to pass. He turned to Hiruzen Sarutobi and dubbed him Konohagkure's Third Hokage in front of all of us. Our team's orders were to run and allow Tobira-sensei to act as a decoy for us to do so. My husband turned to me. He looked guilty and ashamed. He apologized for everything and begged me to make it out of here alive with our child. I promised him I would before we shared our last kiss, and then he faced the Kinkaku Force alone."

Kagami was now openly weeping.

"My team and I got out of there as fast as we could. I should have used the Flying Raijin but chose not to, understanding that I couldn't take the five of them with me. So we took off in the tree line. My speed was suffering due to the stress of my pregnancy. Keeping up with the others wasn't easy like it always had been before. In the distance, I could distinctly hear Cloud Ninja meeting their deaths at the hands of Tobirama. I picked up the pace, saying a prayer that my child's father makes it out of there alive."

Kagami wiped the tears from her cheeks.

"But luck, God, fortune, none of that was on my side that day. I was retreating as fast as I could, but it didn't stop me from hearing Tobirama scream. Moriko's name left his lips like a battle cry before a giant explosion sounded off behind me. It sounded like his Tandem Paper Bomb, but I couldn't be sure. It was then that I found myself cornered by a rouge Kumo-nin, Ginkaku. He looked at me with fury and said, 'Tobirama killed my brother. He killed Kinkaku.' I tried to escape, but he trailed behind me, taunting me with cruel words. 'But he's dead too. I made sure of it. I slid my sword right through his fucking heart." I broke down, screaming for Tobirama. Sarutobi had backtracked and was now barreling toward us. I could hear him screeching for me to run. 'I'm going to finish off the rest of his little family while I'm at it.' I turned on my heel, but Ginkaku had quickly released a stream of hand signs. The forest floor around Ginkaku and I suddenly flashed with the brightest light I'd ever seen. Hiruzen screamed but did not come closer. This thick column of lightning struck Ginkaku and me from above. There was pain, and there was light. And then, nothing but darkness."

She wrapped her arms around herself like it was the only thing holding herself together.

"When I finally woke up, a year had passed, and the war was won. When I regained consciousness, I didn't understand why I wasn't in the forest running for my life. I looked down and saw my baby wasn't inside me, and I became inconsolable. The strongest pair of arms I'd ever felt wrapped around me like a vice before medics ran inside to sedate me. When I came to a second time, the only face in the room was Sanjiro. I wept for my child, begging my friend to tell me what happened. The nurses ordered Jiro to stay quiet, but he told them to fuck off. He told me as gently as he could that my daughter did not make it. The news collectively broke me. I was silent for a very long time. Sanjiro stayed with me, holding me up against his chest and hugging me to him tight. I must have wept for half a day. I woke up at midnight to see Jiro being ordered to leave. By the Hokage. _My_ Hokage."

I sniffled and wiped my eyes with the back of my arm.

"Tobirama had survived. The moment he looked at me, I was once again inconsolable. Unable to do anything but cry my daughter's name over and over again. My husband gave me the same guilty look like the one before I thought he'd been killed. He knew I blamed him, blamed him for sending me to war before our child was safely delivered to the rest of the world. Our reunion didn't go over well when I'd finally calmed down. We fought forever without an end in sight. I told him I wasn't going to be his wife anymore, and that I paid my dues. I was leaving him. There was a lot more to it than that, but the bottom line is that I refused to go back to my old life. Kagami Senju was just a dead, broken-hearted girl. News of my recovery reached the rest of the village as well as the discovery of my split from Tobirama. All the talk of my battle prowess and courage was halted when it became known I was divorcing the Hokage."

"Tobirama didn't take the village gossip very well. There was talk he had been cuckolded and all sorts of other horrendous rumors. Aside from my past discretion with Hiruzen, I had remained faithful to Tobirama for the whole of our marriage. The situation took its toll on Lord Second, and he began to lash out on me. The Hatake disowned me, claiming I brought great shame and dishonor to my clan and the Senju. I was banished from ever returning to the property. Only one friend helped me, and it was Sanjiro. He had been at my side for a year while I was comatose. Before I left the hospital, the nurses told me that Sanjiro was with me every day, only going whenever my husband found the time to visit. When I'd arrived, apparently sections of my hair were completely burned off from all the lightning. Sanjiro claimed it always bothered him that Tobirama never fixed my hair whenever he'd visit. So he chopped it off, giving me my childhood hairstyle. A boy's haircut, spiky, and parted to the left. He even remembered my long, silly braid on the right side of my head and held it together with a painted wooden bead. Sanjiro painted the character for bravery on the bead.

“It wasn't long after my divorce that I moved in with Sanjiro and became his wife. Our wedding wasn't as public as my first one, but everyone knew about it. Your Grandparents were in attendance and supported my new marriage fully, despite it being scandalous of them to do so. Lady Mito gave us a plot of land on the village's outskirts, and Lord Hashirama used the Mokotun to build us a grand house. The two of us ran our own little farm, and I knew true happiness for the first time in years. It wasn't long after the word of my new marriage reached Tobirama. Out of spite, he gave us D ranked missions to humiliate us and keep us broke. He started only assigning me the Honey Pot missions, simply to insinuate that I'm a whore. This continued on for years, long after Jiraiya was born. And goddammit, your father spread these awful made-up stories about how unfaithful I was during my marriage to the Hokage. The villagers ate it up. My ex-husband hated me so much for leaving him, he destroyed our careers. I didn't start making money again until seven years after the war. You and Jiraiya were five years old. Lord Hokage planned an alliance between Konoha and Kumogakure after Hashirama returned from selling both the Two Tails and Eight Tails to the Second Raikage. A formal ceremony was held in the Leaf to begin the talks of peace. Lord Raikage and Tobirama were instead assassinated. Sarutobi took over as Lord Third, and our lives greatly improved. But my reputation never did recover."

"Why is that?"

"My marriage to Tobirama was very public. Anyone who wasn't on duty that day attended our ceremony. When I left him, people viewed me as a monster who turned her back on both clans. Women don't just leave their husbands, you know. But Tobirama knew there was no going back, that we would never be the same. So he let me go, but he tried to ruin my life. A part of me really did love him, but there is no denying that his death finally made my life easier. Hiruzen appointed me to ANBU Black Ops and acknowledged Jiro as Konoha's Weapons Expert. I was a captain in the ANBU until 2 years ago. I was an Academy teacher for a stint, and the children really flourished under my direction. It ended up being my dream job. Every day the children would call me Miss Kagami, and it would melt my battered heart. Unfortunately for me, my notoriety as the village tramp caused the parents to complain that I was unfit for the position. It really hurt that after all these years, people are still parroting all the dumb shit Hiroki Senju once said out of envy. It was maddening."

"Why did he... burn down your house?"

"Hiroki always wanted me for himself. It deeply bothered him when I married his uncle. It enraged him beyond belief when I married his sensei. And it stung that his own father built me and Sanjiro our marital home, the home where our 10 year old slept every night. One evening, I was guarding the Hokage on my night shift. I returned home later to see our farm engulfed in flames. Sanjiro had beat him bloody but couldn't stop the fire in time. Lord Third relocated us to this bungalow and put a restraining order on Hiroki. It was basically a slap on the wrist. Sarutobi was furious, but Danzō convinced him to not start a scandal with the Senju. They didn't even tell your grandparents what their son did to us. I'm sure to this day they don't even know."

"Kagami-sama, I never knew any of this... I never knew how much my family has hurt you. W-why—”

"Why what, honey?"

Sobs wracked my form, making coherent speech impossible.

"Why w-would you keep me around... I'm the daughter of your en—”

"Tsunade, do you know how important you've always been to my son? Jiraiya cares about you more than anything else in the world. I could never reject the very thing that keeps my son smiling." I cried even harder. "I almost had a little Senju girl of my own. Even if you and Jiraiya weren't close, I still would have accepted you. I know better than anyone that a girl is not her father." I hugged Kagami, crushing her to me, and she held me with the same energy. "Tsunade, I _love_ you. I don't blame you for the mistakes of your family. I still have love for the Senju and the Uzumaki. It's just your mother and father that I can't stand."

"I'll never forgive him for any of it."

"He's going to get what's coming to him, I promise. Sanjiro and I live to torment that asshole. Never did I expect him to stoop so low as to torture his own daughter. Jiro and I are going to enjoy making him pay."

"Kagami?" I asked, my voice tiny.

She positioned my head in her lap once again, smoothing out my blonde locks and caressing my scalp. My eyes started to drift closed on their own accord.

"Yes, baby?" she whispered, tucking a piece of my bangs behind my ear.

"I know it was a painful journey," I began, my voice ebbing as I relaxed in her embrace. "But thank you for bringing Jiraiya into my life. He's... my best friend."

Kagami only chuckled. "Thank _you._ For healing everyone you come in contact with."

I opened my eyes to see her proud gaze, and somehow I knew she wasn't talking about medical ninjutsu. I beamed before allowing myself to succumb to sleep in the arms of my genuine mother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter is jiraiya pov


	7. The Prince

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsunade summons Jiraiya.

**Tsunade, age 18**

My dreams and nightmares are becoming more and more vivid lately.

I can't decide whether that is a good thing or a bad thing. Ever since I was little, I've been an insecure, anxiety-riddled person. My fears never fail to find their way into my dreams. It all still feels so real, even to this day. If I'm lucky, sometimes, I'll get a reprieve. If I'm not forced to live through the gruesome deaths of all my friends and family, then my dreams seemed to take a more, um, _hedonistic_ route. 

My infected mind has only two settings: absolute carnage or carnal desire.

Tonight, the latter happened to be the case. Since I've awakened sexually, Jiraiya has perpetually been the star of all my dreams, fantasies, literally everything.

 _Shit, even daydreams_...

It was getting pretty ridiculous. Jiraiya's been away so long I really can only speculate on what he must look like nowadays. My subconscious endlessly tries to fill in the blanks, coming up with a Jiraiya that looks identical to his father, aside from the hair color. Obviously, I know there is something genuinely wrong with that. I would never dare perv on Jiraiya's dad, but I'm not going to sit here and act like he's not one of the most handsome men I've ever seen. And apart from his size and hair color, Jiraiya's always been the spitting image of Sanjiro. Baka has the same defined, shadowy eyes. _I wonder if he extended those face tattoos of his, too..._ My dreams didn't need to know exactly what he looked like; they just knew what I wanted.

I did eventually find an outlet to ease some of my pent-up sexual frustration. All it took was one sleepover at Mizuki Uchiha's house for our whole friend group to decide we should all start making out with each other. I realized very early on in life that I'm also attracted to girls, so it was a no-brainer for me. Especially considering my female friends happen to be some of the most stunning girls in the entire village. I'm insanely blessed, having my pick between Mizuki, Kiyomi Yamanaka, Hayami Hyuga, and Shizuku Nara, pretty much whenever we were alone together. But still, fooling around with pretty girls didn't make me miss Jiraiya any less. If anything, it made me crave him more than I already did. Manic hunger would force me to fantasize that Baka was in the room with us, undetected because of that stealth jutsu he's undoubtedly refined over the years. The thought of his jaw unhinging at the sight of our passion makes me ache with lust every time. In the end, Jiraiya somehow spread his sick voyeuristic fetish onto me. I just don't know what to do with myself anymore. I decided that when he returns, I'm not gonna hesitate. I promised I'd throw myself at him with everything I have: no more games and no more lying to myself.

I'm just going to go for it and see how he reacts, and pray to the gods he isn't in love with someone else. I'm aware that nothing good would come out of us being an open couple. My dad would find out instantly and do something heinous to Jiraiya, me, and his entire family. Behind closed doors, though, maybe we can do this privately and safely and still have fun.

_Please, Raiya... please come back home already._

Despite my frequent nightmares, sleeping in his bed every night is pretty fucking divine. The niggling reminders that he's away never entirely escape my notice. Any remnants of that heady, woodsy scent of his were sniffed-out a long time ago. But sprawling in his giant bed with its heavy blankets makes it easier to pretend he's right beside me.

Today was a long-drawn, physically exhausting day. I recently started medical school after Kagami convinced me to apply. Learning about the intricacies of the human body was sure to improve my medical ninjutsu, so I signed up. It was easy to persuade my friends to join me since they all were starting to become interested in medical ninjutsu. School is simple enough, starting relatively early and letting out at mid-afternoon. Today, though, Orochimaru came over before dawn to shake me out of bed for an impromptu training session with Sarutobi-sensei. I didn't delay, scrambling to put on my uniform, knowing I'm going to have to haul ass to the college from the Training Fields when our session was over. I pushed myself extra hard today to earn that impressed smirk from Sarutobi-sensei. He retired back to the mansion when it was over, and Orochimaru walked me to class. I'd still made plans to train with Kagami-sama after school, so I was already fatigued by the time I had to practice my Chakra Nature training with her.

I scoured myself clean in Jiraiya's shower and collapsed into bed. With full days like this one, I always dropped into his bed like a sack of rocks. I only made it a few chapters into my book before I completely crashed. I passed out earlier than usual, not even eating dinner. Outside, a restless chorus of frogs started to reach my ears from the koi pond below. At one point in my life, this would've annoyed me to no end. But more often than not, I'm happily lulled to sleep by a melody of scattered ribbits. I think of Jiraiya as I drift off, hoping to inspire my dreams and bring me face to face with him.

I found myself in a lush lagoon, among exotic tropical plants and dragonflies. On the opposing end of the oasis was a flowing waterfall, glittering water cascading into a body of crystal clear blue. I was the only human, and even in the majesty of this paradise, loneliness overwhelmed me. My thumb was caught between my teeth, the skin tearing effortlessly to release a steady dribble of red. Blood coated my five fingers and dripped onto my white dress. As I lowered myself to the ground, the flowing fabric whipped around me in the wind. I planted my palm flat onto the slab of stone jutting out from the water. A circular seal marked the stone from the chakra emitting from my hand. The Summoning Technique should have brought Lady Katsuyu to me since my blood's registered under a contract with the Shikkotsu Forest slugs. But instead of my dutiful slug friend, a white toad poofed in front of me. I scooped him up into my hands and saw he was crying, just like me. My eyes met the toad's horizontal black irises, wistfully remarking the bloody tears running down its body. Before I could stop myself, I puckered my lips to his. Wind and leaves swirled around me until I could hear a familiar low chuckle in my ears. 

"I cannot believe you'd lock lips with a toad, Tsunade-hime."

Jiraiya was looking down at me, his giant frame imposing yet mesmerizing. The sun's rays hitting his eyes made them shine like wet obsidian glimmering in the light. His skin was bare, and I looked down to see my dress had vanished. My hands went to his ribs to feel those rippling muscles as if it were a crime not to touch him. I used my physical strength to pull him and crush our chests together, whining brokenly at how right it was to touch Jiraiya skin to skin. He gave me a hushed, content sound. 

"You came back to me," I cried, hurling my arms around his neck in disbelief. Jiraiya's arms slid around my middle to hold me tighter against him. The look of love in his eyes made me tremble in his grasp. He breathed a sigh of relief on my neck. 

"I'm finally home," he whispered against my skin.

I bolted upright in a panic, the book I fell asleep reading sliding off of its place on my stomach. The immediate, overwhelming nearness of Jiraiya's chakra sent adrenaline throughout my veins. _Is he actually here?_ Using my sensory abilities, I could discern his exact position at the edge of the cemetery. That ambling, relaxed stroll set my nerves in a frenzy with every leisurely step he took. My aching heart started jumping, frantic pumps of blood pounding in my ears noisily. It was really him... after all these years, Jiraiya was finally _home_! I can feel him lingering in the garden outside the window.

I scramble to straighten out my frizzy hair, smoothing out the ends. I fell back on the bed, like a princess tossing herself into a pile of pillows. I let my hair fan out around me, hoping it looked cute and disheveled but not too chaotic. I loosen the purple obi of Jiraiya's old white robes to allow more cleavage to peek out. 

_He's gonna fucking lose it when he sees these bad boys._

My arms settled above my head, spread out on the pillows. I felt almost feverish as I hyperventilated in his bed. _Relax… just pretend you're sleeping._ I could sense that Jiraiya had leaped from the garden up to his balcony. I shut my eyes as delicately as I could, letting my lips part as I waited for Jiraiya with bated breath.

Behind my shut eyelids, the room is suddenly bathed in moonlight as he parted the curtains and slid the balcony's glass door open. The clacking sound of his sandals hitting the floor of his room makes me shiver, goosebumps erupting all over my skin.

"Nnn… Raiya?" I ask, my voice still thick with sleep.

"Mommy?" He asks, with a high lilt to his voice.

I can feel the corners of my lips twitch. _Did Baka-chan just call me Mommy?_

I nearly gagged on my own spit, trying not to laugh while I lay there with my eyes shut. I could feel his eyes on my body from the other side of the room. The intensity of his stare burned and caused me to twitch unintentionally. My pelvis shifted, seeking a comfier position. I heard something big slump to the floor, like a giant scroll or something.

Jiraiya suddenly gasped, choking on air. It took everything in me to appear straight-faced and slumbering. I knew his gaze was lingering; I could sense his eyes raking over my body as he neared my spot on his bed. With my eyes still clamped shut, I stretched my arms over my head, growling at the tension leaving my muscles. I sat up, his blanket falling from my torso as I yawned deeply. I opened them, my eyes searching for his in the dark, but he was standing out of reach of the moon's rays. I could see his colossal form flinch and back away as he said my name in wonder.

"Tsunade..."

I couldn't help but smile, a real one that makes your eyes wrinkly at the corners. 

"Tsunade? I thought I was your _mommy_?"

My eyes hadn't adjusted to the darkness yet, but the way he was stammering sounded like he could be blushing. I couldn't make out any features of his, only the outline of his body and his big hair.

He is _gigantic_ , though.

"You said my name the way my parents do. Y-you caught me off guard is all." His voice is a lot deeper than it used to be. But it also kinda sounded like he was intentionally trying to appear extra-manly after the whole mommy thing.

I continued as if he hadn't said anything.

"I mean… I _guess_ I'll be your mommy, if you really want me to," I trailed off, milking his embarrassment. My legs shifted, so I was sitting up on my ankles, giving him a teasing look. I expected him to spaz out, but he started laughing. His chuckles had an incredulous edge to them.

"Hime?"

"Yeah?"

"You nasty."

I giggled, but it was cut short when I realized I still couldn't see him. It didn't feel right to laugh without seeing his wide smile, and that dimple of his that I've missed so dearly.

"Why are you all the way over there? Step into the light, and let me get a good look at you." I leaned back on my elbows in anticipation.

He walked to the edge of the bed, finally within reach of the moonlight's rays that shone on me. My first thought when he finally came into view was a resounding _HOLY FUCK_ echoing through the walls of my consciousness. 

Jiraiya is a man now. _Just like his father._ He was so massive, easily an entire foot taller than me. The tattoos under his eyes extended slightly, reminding me of the toad that cried blood from my dreams.

His hair was a lot longer, too, in the same style Sanjiro has always worn. Jiraiya's spiky, long ponytail swung past his waist and looked so incredibly _thick._ I tried not to imagine pulling him closer to me by the ends of his snowy tresses. His bangs were long enough now to be split down the middle instead of sticking straight up in spikes like they did when he was younger. Resisting the urge to reach out and touch those chin-length bangs that framed his sharp jawbone so deliciously, my eyes instead moved down his body. 

My breath caught in my throat.

If Jiraiya was muscular before, he's totally jacked now. He has these broad, wide shoulders that I can't wait to spread my hands over. I bit my lip to stop myself. Jiraiya's build wasn't quite as Herculean as his father's, but he's definitely _built_. Baka also closely resembled his Uncle Sakumo, the White Fang. I can't deny his hotness, so I don't even try.

_By the end of tonight, I'm going to make you mine._

I could tell he was athletic, lean, and limber underneath those updated flame robes of his. My skin started to feel hot, so I looked away to gather myself, kicking away the giant fleece blanket off my legs.

"Tsunade-hime?"

"Yes, Jiraiya-kun?"

He blushed sheepishly, as though he didn't expect to hear anything but Baka-chan from my mouth.

"Are you, um, wearing my old clothes?" He glanced briefly at my chest before frantically shooting his dark eyes back up to mine.

I gave him a pass because I made sure my cleavage was partially exposed when he got here, and his gaze didn't linger long. My hand reached down to finger the end of the white kimono to caress the red flames at the bottom. "I've been wearing them to bed…"

"I can _see_ that. My pipsqueak robes look better on you, anyway," Jiraiya muttered, his voice low. He took another step toward me. I shifted to give him room, hoping he'd sit next to me as I sat on my knees. Jiraiya looks at the empty spot next to me and gulps but doesn't sit down.

He gave me a concerned look.

"Well… before I left, I asked Mom and Dad to keep an eye on you. I assumed something nasty with your parents must have happened to find you actually _sleeping_ here."

I was silent.

"Are you okay, Hime?"

I bit my lip, not wanting to cry the second he's returned. I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him down and pressing myself to him. Jiraiya responded immediately by slipping his arms around my back and clutching me even tighter to him.

"It was bad, wasn't it?" he asked, his voice sounding so hurt as his lips accidentally brush the shell of my ear. I wanted to cry, thinking about what happened, but I breathed him in with hopes to calm myself down. His arms around me were so strong it kept me from falling apart. _This_ … this is what I've been missing all these years. I leaned my head back to look at him, giving him the best smile I could manage.

"It was pretty bad… but I'm okay now, Jiraiya. I got lots of people looking out for me." I gave him a look, wanting him to see how grateful I was.

Jiraiya gave me a sad smile and crawled onto the bed, never letting me go. He smelled earthy and stinky, but I didn't mind in the slightest. We tumbled to the bed, bouncing slightly with the soft mattress. I pulled him on top of me, taking advantage of our position. There wasn't an ounce of fight in him, and something about that really turned me on.

He nestled himself in between my legs, hands on either side of my head supporting his weight so he didn't crush me. This was the first time I found myself in a position like this with a boy. Especially considering this was the boy I wanted to give everything to...

I was so delirious I might as well be drunk.

"You know, I never expected you to miss me so badly," Jiraiya murmured in my ear. His fingertips caressed my cheek as he smirked down at me. I wanted to kiss him so bad, I didn't even deny his words. His fingers traveled from my neck down to my collarbone before following the path back up to my cheek.

"I've never missed anyone this bad… it hurt so much," I rushed, not used to sharing how I felt. The feel of Jiraiya's hands on my skin was making me spill my beans without a second thought. "You were sorely missed, Baka. Always on my mind every second you were away." _Quit running your mouth, idiot!_

Jiraiya's movements froze. "Wait, really—"

I looked at him with wide eyes, unable to lie. I nodded and bit my lip.

"Wow," he breathed. "And here I thought it was just me."

I shook my head. "It wasn't just you." I let my hand rest on the side of his jaw. "You actually just woke me up from a dream about you…"

His eyes darkened, and his voice lowered considerably. "Oh yeah?"

My breath stuttered. "I… summoned you. You were a toad." Jiraiya shifted all his weight to his other arm, the fingertips of his new free hand ran down my triceps, and I nearly moaned. "I picked you up, and I— " I yelped in surprise when he leaned his head in and ran his nose up my neck.

"You what?" He whispered, his lips ghosting on the spot behind my ear. "Did you kiss me?"

The silence that stretched between us was booming. I was shaking underneath Baka's relaxed body, not used to feeling so out of control of the situation. I huffed a breath and steeled myself to try and gain some semblance of control. _Regain the upper hand, Tsunade._ I put my palms flat on his solid chest and slowly ran them up to his shoulders, resting them comfortably.

"Of _course_ ," I sighed. "I told you I missed you, didn't I? And that's what you're supposed to do—you, uh, kiss the frog, and then the prince appears." 

Jiraiya's mouth dropped in shock.

"I-I'm no prince, Tsunade-hime." I coiled my arms around his neck and smirked. While he was distracted, I angled my leg over his hips and used my strength to roll us so that I was on top, perched on his thighs. His startled expression only spurred me on as I slid my arms from around his neck.

"Hime, you're in my bed, wearing my clothes... I seriously didn't expect any of this."

Our closeness made me feel wild; I had to say something before I lost my whole ass mind. "I seriously didn't expect you to call me _Mommy_ …"

His eyes rolled up to the ceiling as he let out an exasperated groan from beneath me.

"Can you let that go already? I didn't think it was the craziest thing in the world to find my mom sleeping in my bed after being gone so long. She could've missed me while I was away. I _am_ like... the best son in the world."

"Hmmm… this morning over breakfast, Kagami-sama _did_ say she can't wait for her baby boy to come home…"

"See?" He grinned in victory.

"Only because she wants to work you to the bone." That wiped the smile off of Jiraiya's face. “Apparently there's a lot she wants to be done, too. So expect to wake up to pop music real early to help her with chores." I looked down at him and poked him in the chest.

He pouted, grabbing my wrist and flattening my palm on his sternum.

"Alright, you got me. I could sense your presence from outside, which I honestly wasn't expecting. When I saw you in the bed, I could feel it was you, but I honestly didn't recognize you at first. I thought you might be my mom for a second because I saw those two giant melons, and I thought... _’That can't be Hime_.'" Jiraiya made a crude gesture with his hands in front of his chest, the universal symbol for big tits. I could feel my face redden. “I mean the last time I saw you, your chest was looking like _mine_ ," he laughed, reaching back up to squeeze my hand resting on his flat, muscular chest. I smacked him in the shoulder with my free hand.

"I knew it was a matter of time before you opened your big, fat mouth." _Unbelievable_.

"Who knew they would get so big, amirite?" He shrugged under me, laughing loudly. "Back in the day, your chest—" he cut himself off, incapable of containing his guffaws. Jiraiya never did get it fully under control. "It was almost… caved _inward_ —"

My fingers reached forward to yank on one of his long bangs, gripping it by the roots and yanking hard. I'm tempted to pull it by the ends, knowing it would hurt far worse, but I resisted. However, when I tugged on his icy locks, Jiraiya made the most peculiar sound. It was a cross between a sharp intake of breath and a squeaky, pained moan. His eyes were screwed shut tightly, and his mouth was slack with a look of unmistakable pleasure. I froze on top of him, his hair falling through my fingers.

I looked down at him with wide eyes. "Raiya… What was _that?_ "

He gulped, giving me a guilty look, but said nothing.

"You get off on the weirdest things, I swear." I scoffed, while inwardly trying to commit the face and sound he made to my permanent memory. _So you like your hair pulled, huh? I'll remember that, dirty boy._ "I suppose that's something you need to unpack… pervy Baka-chan," I said self-righteously, descending off his lap to lie on my side next to him. He adjusted himself to do the same thing, facing me with an embarrassed smile. His face was now as red as a habanero and I told him so.

He covered his face with his hands. "Stop teasing me!"

"You've teased me all my life! It's payback time."

"Alright, the flat jokes are no more." Jiraiya sighed. "I regret them all… immensely."

"Bet you do. But it's a new era now," I said, squaring my shoulders in triumph. "I have _these_ now. So you were wrong about me all along, heh, heh." I stuck my tongue out and flipped him off with both hands, one for each breast I gained in his absence.

He simply laughed, resting both of his arms behind his head as he got comfortable. "Believe me when I say I've never been happier to be wrong in my entire life. It's like, the planets realigned slightly every time I've called you flat-chested. Until finally, they lined up perfectly and showered you with their cosmic energy… giving you voluptuous breasts and making _me_ look like a dumb bastard."

Everything he said was so ridiculous I couldn't help but snort.

"Um, Granny Mito once explained to me most of the women on my Senju side had massive tits." _In those exact words, too._ "I'd think of it more as my destiny rather than… the cosmos?"

Jiraiya looked dazed, regarding me with hooded eyes. "I'm sorry I missed that last part… Can you say the word 'tits' again?"

I sighed. "You have two seconds to settle down before I throw hands with you."

Jiraiya looked as though he didn't hear a word I said. He closed his eyes as though he were about to begin a prayer. "Bless the Senju… and their _tits_."

That earned him a forehead flick. "You know what? Shame on you! Your parents haven't seen you in two and a half years, and you're up here fixating on boobs. Sinner."

He appeared to be offended. "When I return home from missions, I always come in through my balcony window. My parents already know I'm here, probably knew long before even _you_ did. I'll bet you cold, hard, cash that my mom is in the kitchen right now, making me something to eat." 

I sniffed. "Well, I don't know about all that, but I'm sure if Kagami's sensory skills didn't pick you up, her nose definitely did."

Jiraiya tilted his head toward his armpit and made a face.

"Yeah, I don't smell very sexy," He says, not bothering to take his arms out under his head to spare us of his odor. "Didn't seem to bother you all that much earlier…"

I couldn't help but be embarrassed by my behavior. But I also couldn't help my reaction to Baka coming home after all this time. _Asshole_. 

"Now that the initial shock is over with, the smell is getting to me." I teased, propping my head on my elbow and running my fingers up and down the blanket's soft furs. "You're cleaning yourself up before you even _think_ about coming back to bed with me."

The words were out there before I could think to stop them.

Jiraiya paused, raising an eyebrow in question, looking timid and confused.

" _Oh_? Uhh, come again?"

"I…" am a fucking moron. "Well,—" _Kill me._

Jiraiya waited patiently while I gathered the words. I stuttered for so long, and yet he never ran out of patience. He smiled, eyeing me with sympathy.

"Look, don't get the wrong idea. I just… want you to hold me tonight. Things have been so shitty without you, Jiraiya. It's like I'm falling apart! Since I moved in, things have been better, but... I still really _need_ you, Baka. I need you to keep me together before I fucking break."

Jiraiya pulled me into a hug, tucking my head under his chin. "I wish things weren't so hard for you, Hime. More than anyone, you are worthy of happiness, and you deserve the fucking world."

"I don't know. I feel so worthless."

"Who told you that? Your dad?"

My lip trembled as I nodded. 

"Ohhhh, _no_ ," he said, speaking in a pillowy-soft voice. His hushed tone made him sound like Kagami when she comforts me anytime I'm on the verge of tears. "Come here, babygirl," he ordered gently, pulling me down by my forearm to rest against his chest. I snaked my arms around him and buried my face in his thick hair. Nothing could've prepared me for how good being in his arms again felt. I let my breath fan against the skin of his neck.

"Tsunade, your dad is wrong about everything." 

"I know he's a piece of shit, but he's been saying this my entire life. Not believing him is impossible for me."

"I can see it. You're expected to be perfect at all times. The thing is, Hime, you're perfect as you are and always have been. Hiroki and Niwa are the only ones who don't see it. You're not worthless, Tsunade... you're my hero."

"I am?"

There was no humor in his voice, but I still searched his face for signs of joking and found nothing. 

"Absolutely. I need you to do your best not to believe a word of your dad's bullshit. I'll stay with you at night whenever you need me to. I'm not going anywhere, baby." He froze when the term of endearment left his lips. I could even feel his heartbeat speed up from where my head was resting on his chest. I lifted my head to read his face. Jiraiya looked mortified. "It kind of slipped out. I'm sorry."

My finger went to his lips. "Shhh. I know that's just how you show your love, Raiya." I'd gotten used to that type of love language while living with his family these past few months. The fingertip that shushed him was now absent-mindedly tracing his soft, full lips.

I exhaled a long, shaky breath as Jiraiya looked up at me with half-lidded eyes.

"Wanna know how I show mine?" I asked, my voice quiet but eager.

_I can't believe I'm about to do this._

Underneath me, Jiraiya gulped but didn't hesitate.

"Please show me," he pleaded tenderly. The deep baritone of his new voice warmed me down to my bones.

I leaned in, my fingers interlocking with his as I captured his top lip in between mine. We kissed softly, but my reaction was anything but tender. A ripple of flames waved down the column of my spine as he gently caressed my lips with his. Heat spread throughout my body as the tips of our tongues met, spreading between my legs and making my body pulse with ardor. I pressed tighter against him, deepening the kiss and sighing into his mouth. He made a noise in the back of his throat like he was shocked at my enthusiasm. His hand entwined in mine was shaking violently when my fingertips grazed his calloused skin. 

I pulled away, going into medic mode.

"What's the matter, do you feel okay?"

Jiraiya licked his lips, regarding me with wonder and shock. His chest was heaving, jostling me a little.

"I feel like a princess just kissed me," he said in awe, nearly breathless. Jiraiya traced his thumb along my bottom lip, his eyes glued to my mouth. 

"You've always made me feel like one," I whispered, my eyes fluttering shut. _Oh, Jiraiya... you're so precious to me._ Our lips met again, and I melted against this perfect boy of mine. He leaned back slightly to whisper against my lips.

"Happy Birthday, Tsunade." 

**XXX**

**Jiraiya, age 17**

_IS THIS REALLY FUCKING HAPPENING?!?!?!?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so i lied! i cut out jiraiya's pov because it made the chapter waaay too long. there will be some pervy goodness next chapter, promise


	8. Heaven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jiraiya gets what he wants.

**Jiraiya, age 17**

_Did I somehow die on my way back home?_

I can't help but think this to myself as a sharp pang of anxiety takes root in my gut. That's the only explanation my foggy mind can come up with that somewhat verifies why the girl of my dreams is in my bed right now, _kissing_ me. I quivered and fought to catch my breath while Tsunade strokes my hand softly.

_Maybe I slipped off a high branch somewhere and fell to my death..._

"What's the matter, do you feel okay?" she implored, her naturally high voice now low and edged with worry in the darkness. Hime looked at me with innocent concern in those enchanting, moon-lit eyes.

She had single-handedly invaded every one of my senses, dimming the very last of my resistance. Rational thought, speech, even breathing were all unavailable to me at this time. Without thinking, my tongue swept over my lips, desperate to taste and savor any leftover traces of her sweet mouth. Simultaneously, two pairs of eyes locked on to each other in the semi-darkness of my bedroom. I would've died from embarrassment right there if it weren't for her quiet little hitch of breath. Tsunade broke off our stare, appreciation in her eyes as she fixates on my wet lips. I think she liked what she saw because her own mouth was parted as she glanced back up at me, a momentary flash of hunger disrupting her vacant stare. That one look added more sexual tension to this second than every moment we've ever shared combined.

"I feel like a princess just kissed me," I said with a voice that's almost comically detached from reality. _Breathe, you fool!_ Before I could even consider stopping myself, I cradled her burning face with my palm. The pad of my thumb skimmed a feather-light touch along the smooth surface of luscious, velvety lips. Her sigh was pleasantly warm... all I could think about was how much I wanted her to kiss me again.

"You've always made me feel like one," Tsunade whispered, not even sounding like herself. Her soft, muted voice was ethereal to my ears. Suddenly she's no longer my childhood friend. In my absence, she'd transformed into a goddess of desire, like one from the book lying open on my bed.

_It's like I have a short-ass Aphrodite lying on top of me right now._

Hime closes her eyes, as well as the distance between our faces again. "Oh, _Jiraiya_ ," Tsunade purred slowly, lips grazing mine lightly. I'd never loved the sound of my own name so much. Tsunade-hime's voice prolonged each syllable, almost as if to savor it. "You're so precious to me," she moaned airily. Plump and delicious, our lips connected again. Not innocently, like a tease, but ardent, blazing, and demanding.

Not even in my wildest dreams could I conjure up a more bewitching scenario. And that's coming from a young man with a damningly _vivid_ imagination. It takes a second or two for the last remnants of shock to leave my system long enough for me to relax into her touch once again. Her gentle caresses and all-around closeness made this night larger than life. My lips stretch wider into a goofy grin against her mouth, and I can feel her smile back in response. I fucking made it. I'm here.

And in the seconds that follow, I can feel her squeezing her arms around me and my own reciprocating. No longer is she a ghost from my past, the aggressive pint-size beauty that still haunts my dreams. Tsunade is right fucking here; she's warm, sweet-smelling, and _soft_.

My strikingly beautiful teammate kissed me so fervently that my eyes rolled back in rapturous bliss. The languid rhythm of our mouths left me spellbound beneath her. My poorly concealed moans tell me it's time to pull away before I lose myself, but I can't seem to summon the will.

Until Tsunade-hime's thigh nearly collides with my stiff arousal.

_From little acorns, mighty oaks do grow..._

I choke back a whimper, trying to break away from her but only managing to move my head back slightly. On the nightstand next to me, red numbers glow in the darkness.

**12:11 AM**

I pull away to whisper a distraction.

"Happy Birthday, Tsunade," I murmur against her lips. She lets out a lustful sigh, her fingers playing with the ends of my bangs. With a final press of lips, she breaks away to run her fingers along my jawbone.

"Jiraiya, did you come all this way just to see me on my birthday?"

Caramel orbs search my eyes for something, but for what I'm not sure. Tsunade sits up, her weight resting on my lower stomach, expression unreadable. I reached into my kimono to pull out the tiny notebook snugly nestled in the military-grade netted armor shirt I wear under my robes. One of the first sleeves contains a loose paper calendar. I remove the page and hand it to her, August 2nd circled multiple times in ink with a big fat Hime (姫) in the middle.

"Fuck yeah, I did." Her eyes leave the paper and hone in on me. Trying to ignore her intensity is even trickier than I imagined. The decision was made to ramble on and shake the dirty thoughts from my mind before acting upon them.

"I assumed I would see you way later on in the day, though. I wanted to surprise you at your house— which I guess, _technically,_ I did _..._ only a _lot_ sooner than expected..."

Tsunade gave me an annoyed look.

I was too dumbfounded to react when her hand grabbed my chin and swung my head to the side. Delicately, she brushed my hair out of the way, exposing my neck to her intense scrutiny. Hime bent down, and suddenly I'm feeling hot breath on my neck, then the tender touch of a kiss. My skin burned when she made contact. A hand runs through my hair as Tsunade's gentle kisses become firmer and more urgent. Another hand slides in my kimono to graze the skin peeking from my mesh armor. I groaned, filling my quiet bedroom with the goofy sounds of unrestrained joy. Tsunade's kisses are now on my collarbone, deft hands reaching down to tug boldly at the obi of my kimono. She tore it away, casting the fabric aside with a satisfied smirk before letting my robe fall open. I watched her gleefully part the front panels, gasping loudly as she traced the flushed skin of my chest with a polished finger.

Hime flattened her candy-scented body against my chest, her lower body inching backward to meet the tent in my martial arts pants.

"Ah!" I cried out, both in delight and alarm. "Hime, get off!"

"Hmmm... _No_ ," she says simply in response, sighing. She sat upright, placing a fantastic pressure on my hard-on. I nearly started suffocating from the surprise of it alone.

_She'stouchingyourdickshe'stouchingyourdick!_

"Raiya," Tsunade's musical voice called my name in a sweet moan, gazing down on me with so much emotion my breath caught in my chest. "I want you..."

I could feel my psyche shatter into literal pieces.

My body moved on its own, jerking into a sitting position, with Princess Tsunade still in my lap. She moaned again as my hands made their way down to cup that captivating ass, forcing a barbed grunt out of me. Small, calloused hands braced my shoulders, and I watched with equal parts of ecstasy and horror as she rolled her hips against my hard cock, driving it home in between her legs.

We both wailed in unison.

"Aaarggh!"

"Oooohh!"

I saw stars, my vision blotting. When my sight fully returned, Tsunade rolled her hips again, repeating the entire process twice over.

"Fuuuuck!"

"Ahhhhhh!"

_Yeah, you're dead. It's the only logical explanation for any of this._

I throw my head back after another onslaught of pleasure from Tsunade circling her hips.

"Fuck, Raiya, please touch me," she whimpered illicitly. Her eyes were so tenderhearted and full of longing I could feel them destroy what little resolve still left inside me. I shoved her backward, covering her body with mine and wrenching her knees wide apart so I can plunge myself in between. Tsunade's eyes widened, and I thought I had frightened her for a brief moment.

Only that wasn't the case at all.

Smooth legs secured themselves around my hips, shoving my hardness against the apex of her thighs deliciously. I froze, paralyzed but still somehow able to keep myself from collapsing on top of her. Looking down at Hime in this position... amazement doesn't quite cover it. It's like every neuron of my brain is trying to fire in both directions at once. I must have looked like an absolute dumbass to her.

"You don't know how much I want this, do you?" she asks, dreamily.

I look at her, dazed, physically unable to formulate a response to that. The only thing I could truly grasp onto is that this is true paradise, and fucking this up was _not_ an option.

I kissed her again, trembling as I felt her open her mouth up to me. My tongue outlined her lower lip gently. An uncertain touch at first, not wanting to cross any lines and get my ass stomped out. She jumped somewhat but only pressed herself even closer, humming a low moan into my mouth. I did it again, but with an added suck to her bottom lip. She shivered against me lewdly, making me throb painfully between her parted thighs. I attacked her mouth with vigor, almost forgetting how to breathe from how fucking good everything felt.

Tsunade threw her head back, pulling away from me breathlessly as my mouth left hers to leave kisses along her jaw, leisurely making my way to her ear. My tongue traced the skin behind her ear, earning a squirm from her as I nipped her lobe gently, ragged breaths escaping me unbidden and wild. Her eyes clamped shut when my tongue made small circles on the thin skin of her throat, inhaling her scent as I felt her pulse drum rapidly.

My hand slipped up her side, marveling at the dip of her waist and the overall feel of her delicate curves. When the palm of my hand grazed the side of her breast, something inside Hime seemed to snap.

"Fuck—" Tsunade's breath hiccuped before she pushed herself up and swirled her tongue at the hollow of my throat. Our lips met again with identical, needy moans. The hypnotic rhythm seemed to build and build, our desire feeding into each other savagely. Then, without warning, she let go of my bottom lip with an audible 'pop.'

"What do you need, baby?" I whisper as she pulls away slightly to catch her breath.

" _Mmm_ ," was her only answer as she rutted a lazy roll of hips against an extremely interested dick. Euphoria threatened to call this off prematurely if I wasn't too careful.

"Tell me," I bit out, my voice dropping.

Tsunade brought her mouth to my ear, but nothing could've prepared me for what she was about to say.

“I want you to fuck me, Jiraiya."

I peered down at her with horrified wonder at her clouded, distracted expression. I choked, my mind descending into madness at the surrealness of this night.

" _Baka-chan_... what is it?" she whined from beneath me. My gaze darted around my dark bedroom, avoiding her confused expression. I despised myself for getting stuck in my own head, but I seriously needed answers. Tsunade reached up and grabbed me by my collar, a flicker of uncertainty in her hooded eyes. "Do you-not... want me?"

_Get your shit together, you idiot! Do not mess this up for us!_

I gave her a look of appalled shock as if that was the most preposterous question she could've ever asked me. I bucked my hips roughly, making sure to hit that touchy little bundle of nerves with my hard cock.

She cooed, and that little noise was so fucking beautiful, I was desperate to hear it again, and again, and again.

"Still think that's the case, Hime?" I whispered, trying to keep my voice low and measured as I drove my hips against her repeatedly.

She purred in reply.

" _Ohhh_..." Her pink lips formed a little 'o' as her eyes fluttered shut.

I leaned down to attack her neck with kisses, inhaling deep lungfuls of her candy scent while I splayed open-mouthed kisses along the ridge of Tsunade's shoulder in reply.

"What happened?" I ask, lips grazing her earlobe. She craned her head, giving me a hazy look. "W-what made you change your mind about me, Hime?" I leaned back to read her expression.

Tsunade's face fell faster than a corpse in concrete shoes.

She gave me a pointed look, as if answering my question was the last thing on earth she wanted to do right now. I started to get tired of holding myself up by my forearms, but I ignored the slight burn in my muscles while waiting for her to talk to me.

Something in her eyes softened, her hands reaching up to cradle my face. She took a deep breath before looking at me with pure reverence. I could feel the breath leave my lungs instantly. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd ever see such a lovely look on that face, let alone have it be directed at _me_.

"I've... always wanted you, Baka."

_Wait..._

"You _have_?"

Tsunade pushed on my shoulders, making me climb off her and snuggle up next to her instead. I rested on my side, pulling her by the waist so that she's snug against my rapidly beating heart.

"The reason I've been holding out so long is... I want you all to myself. But for years, I was convinced that wasn't possible."

"Huh?" _The fuck is she talking about?_

Hime's fingers found the ends of my ponytail that was trapped underneath the weight of my hip. She still fiddled with it absentmindedly, looking uneasy and vulnerable as she spoke.

"Ever since I met you, you've always treated me like your special girl. I pretend I hate it, but really... that's what I want to be. _Your_ girl." She placed her hand on my face to stroke my cheekbone with her thumb, a melancholy look in her eyes. "My worst fear is that I give you everything I have, only for you to decide I'm not so special after all."

 _She's had feelings for me all this time... and_ this _is what stood between us?_

"Ohhh... _Tsunade,_ " I breathed, squeezing her tight against me until I hear her grunt in discomfort. Even then, I didn't let her go. "Don't you know I worship you? That would _never_ happen."

She hid her face in my neck, broken words softened against my buzzing skin. "What if I end up not being good enough? I'd lose _everything_."

I've gradually noticed that both Princess Tsunade and I suffer from severe, crippling anxiety throughout the years. Apart from her beauty, it was of the things that made me gravitate toward her. She's just always understood what it's like to live like this.

I am aware that our situations are entirely different. Tsunade-hime is a prodigy of arguably the most famous and influential clan in the Land of Fire. I'm just a guy who is so afraid of looking like a fucking loser, I uphold absurd expectations for myself. With the hope of one day being regarded as a hero of the Leaf. But Hime? She doesn't have anything to prove to herself. Her expectations were _forced_ on her by abusive parents attempting to pass her glory off as their own feats and live vicariously through her. The irony is Tsunade's grandparents are both the most powerful elders in the whole land, yet they're too oblivious to know what actually goes on in their own home. In all honesty, it made me respect Lord Hashirama and Lady Mito significantly less, despite them both being childhood heroes of mine.

It's apparent to me that years of paranoia, stress, and self-loathing have really done a number on poor Tsunade. She exhaled tremulously against my skin, bringing me back to our plane of existence. "Raiya, _please_ say something."

"Fuck, I'm so sorry. My mind is going a mile a minute right now." I clutched her even tighter in my arms, needing to reassure her that I'm just stupid and not at all trying to dub her. "It isn't your fault you have these fears, and I understand why you even have them in the first place. You were born with parents who destroyed your self-esteem rather than nurture it." Glistening eyes met mine in question, her brow furrowed in resentment. "What I mean to say is, you are Princess Tsunade of the Hidden Leaf. I'm just fucking... _Jiraiya_. That's it. The notion that you'd lose sleep over whether or not you're good enough for a dumb meathead like me is so... tragic, honestly."

Tsunade removed herself from my arms, making the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. The thought that I'd insulted her after she was brave enough to share something so personal with me had me wishing I really was dead. She slung her legs over the bed, abruptly turning her back to me. There was so much I wanted to say to her as ice water sprang through my veins.

I settled myself in next to Hime, making sure to keep a little space between us so that our legs didn't touch. She said nothing, just crossed her arms and stared straight ahead at the wall. Her legs were nearly two feet from the floor, swinging precisely like a child's would. I tried not to laugh at how much it undermined her sullen form.

_I fucking love this silly girl._

Somehow, I was able to sit with her and keep my mouth shut without filling the room with unnecessary bullshit. We sat in silence for some time, long enough for me to zone out, before she finally said something.

"I may call you Baka... but you are not dumb, Jiraiya."

My body started at the sudden sound of her voice.

"Huh?"

"I _said_ , you may be a fucking idiot— but you're not actually stupid. Do you get what I'm trying to say?" Her tone sharp and irritated, only with a playful edge it.

"You know I'm pretty lost if I'm being real with you."

She rolled her eyes and nudged her shoulder with mine. "I'm saying that you need to stop thinking you're this big, blundering dumbass. Okay? You're—" she huffed out an annoyed, measured sigh. "You're easily the wisest person of our age." I gawked at her, but Hime avoided my gaze. My hand went to her shoulder, just really wanting to touch her again more than anything. The fabric of my old kimono felt shabby and worn against my fingertips. I couldn't help but wonder why she'd choose to sleep in something so threadbare every night. Looking down, I could see the red flames on the bottom were also faded and ragged at the ends.

And to be honest—the way it stretches, straining to cover her breasts—it doesn't look all that comfortable, either.

I gave the muscle at the juncture of her neck a small squeeze, startling her enough to look me in the eyes again. "Do you really feel that way about me?" I asked, my voice small.

Hime paused before reluctantly bobbing her head, grimacing up at me nervously. "It comes through all the time and not just during battle. You innately possess this like... intrinsic knowledge of how people think and how the world functions. I've always respected that about you."

I blinked rapidly in disbelief.

"Excuse me, what is _that_ look for?"

I rubbed the back of my neck, sheepishly. "I didn't mean anything by it. You're just being so nice to me... I kinda like it."

"I'm not _trying_ to be nice. That's how I genuinely feel. But it's more than all that." My heart began pounding when she started inching closer, but I'd officially moved past being terrified of her touching me.

"Jiraiya," she began, turning into me and threading her fingers in the thick hair at the nape of my neck. I rested one of my hands on the low point of her hip, reveling in the fact that I'm doing so without getting my teeth knocked out. She continued on as if it were no big deal, so I let my thumb stroke the bare skin of her thigh. "You're that guy, the guy who makes me laugh, makes me question everything I thought I knew." She spoke so tenderly I almost felt like I could cry. "I know I've treated you like shit ever since we were little. Years without you at home were years spent... not _laughing_. The only people to make me laugh, or feel any sort of comfort, were Kagami and Sanjiro. And, ugh, I'm fucking embarrassing myself right now, you know how I am with like... _sharing_ things like this. I'm just so tired of keeping my mouth shut and regretting not telling you... h-how you really make me feel."

_Holy fucking shit._

I snaked my arms around her smaller body, situating her in my lap. She yelped, and it was such a cute sound I couldn't help but chuckle at her. "You know, for a girl who hates to use her words... you sure have a beautiful way with them." Tsunade burned up, looking bashful, but said nothing. She only kept holding onto my neck, absentmindedly rubbing and massaging it. "I could wrap myself up in your words and sleep more soundly than a baby."

She snickered, her eyes twinkling with mirth. "Is that so?"

I brought a hand up to caress her cheek. So beautiful.

"I mean it. You're like a walking, breathing lullaby. Even when you're cussing me out, it's still a sweet melody to me." She smiled and kissed me on the cheek, humming while she did. "I've missed your singing voice, too."

Hime pulled back, eyeing me suspiciously. "Uh... I've never sang in front of you. It's pretty much only been for Kagami-sama and Sanjiro-sama."

My hand drew circles on the outer part of her thigh, drumming my fingers playfully along the silky skin. "Nuh-uh. You always sing in the bath."

Her eyes widened with embarrassment, swatting my hand away with muted fury. " _Yeah_ , when I think I'm by _myself_ , you son of a—w-wait, no..." Hime narrowly stopped herself from insulting my mom, doing that little huff she always does when she's irritated. "Fuck you, Baka!"

"I couldn't help it, I'm your biggest fan." She rolled her eyes at me and tugged on my hair lightly. Too light for it to feel really good. "You better sing me to sleep every night, now that I'm home," I threatened gleefully. The look on Hime's face said _hell no._ "Or else," I added, now stern.

"Or else what?"

"Or else I'm kicking you out of my bed. Your ass can sleep on the floor like you used to do at your house." Tsunade snickered, pushing me back and toppling on top of me.

"Psssh... not all of us are rotten brats with giant beds. Spoiled ass."

"Spoiled? I _love_ sleeping on the ground. I just chose to do it for like 3 years straight, how am _I_ spoiled? You know what—" I cut myself off, deciding then to tickle her relentlessly. The sounds of her screaming and my chortling almost drowned out the stifled boom of my dad calling us downstairs.

" _Kids_!"

"Fuck," Tsunade coughed, hands splayed over her ribs in protection. "Your folks probably hate me now for hogging you up here this long."

"Doubt it. They're more likely to be miffed at me than you."

If they're anything like me, then they believe Hime can do no wrong.

I stood up, holding my hand out for her to take it. Tsunade went to grab it, but midway she pulled it back and pretended to run her fingers through her hair instead, saying " _Oooh_ ," like a total dick.

"Whatever," I scoffed. "Told you earlier that my folks already knew I was back."

"Race you downstairs, jerk off."

_God, I fucking love her so goddamn much._

"It's on, loser."

"Butthole."

"Brat."

Tsunade-hime was still sitting at the edge of the bed, her hand quickly shooting up to cover her mouth. Her eyes traveled down to my crotch and pointed.

_You're still hard, asshole._

"Ah shit," I sighed. "Let me handle this real quick," I said, a little rushed as I hunkered back down at the foot of the bed and closed my eyes. I inhaled deeply through my nose, taking measured breaths.

_"TSUUNAA! RAAIYAA! "_

My mom's call was even more clamorous than dad's, coming from the bottom of the stairs.

_"COMING!"_

"Hurry up," she whispered down at me, hushed and irritated. "They're probably wondering what's taking us so long."

I peeped an eye open at her, trying to keep the frustration out of my voice as I exhaled.

"My dick is still on beam, Tsunade. I can't just greet them like this. Gimme a sec."

"Ugggghhh, oh my _god_ ," she groaned, standing up and crossing her arms in front of me as she scrutinized my patient manner.

"Listen, Hime, you making noises isn't exactly helping it any, so how about you shush?"

Her pout said that she wanted to 'hmph' at me, but I was grateful she stayed silent because that'd only help make this situation worse. I sucked in another greedy lungful of air, conjuring up a traumatic memory I revisit whenever I need to deflate myself during times like these. I haven't had to do this since the last time I got a boner during training with Tsunade-hime, and we were like 15.

" _Whoa_..." She blurted, eyeing my lap with wide-eyed wonder. "What could possibly make it go down so _fast_?"

There was no way I was telling her what I was actually thinking, so I went with a half-truth instead.

"I just reminded myself what it was like being sexually harassed by armies of female frogs at any given moment, for years on end. I was like a piece of meat to them. Even _bathing_ was absolute hell."

Hysteria slowly started to creep its way onto her face as I realized what I just fucking said.

Tsunade brought her hands to her cheeks, mocking me with a crybaby gesture, and pouting her lip in exaggeration. "Oh _no_ ," she said in a baby-like voice. "Does the pervert now know what it's like to be sexually objectified without his consent? How sad, boo hoo," she teased before cackling at my hypocrisy.

"You know what? I ain't even gonna argue with you because the moment I said it, I felt dumb as shit."

"As you should," she reached out to help me up, even though I didn't need it. "I skipped dinner earlier, so I'm actually starving. Can we go now?"

**XXX**

We barrelled down the first flight of stairs, shoving each other harshly into the walls as we attempted to get ahead of one another. All the lights in the living room were on as the TV played for nobody. It sounded like a samurai movie. My ears could pick up the faucet in the kitchen running and the deep murmurings of my dad as he cooked.

I leaned against the banister and cleared my throat, preparing to use a distinctive voice that always made my mom cringe. A sickly sweet croon that never failed to make my dad double over with laughter at her reaction. " _Mommy_? _Daddy_?" I sang from the staircase. "Your darling baby boy is _home_!" Tsunade gave me an amused but weirded-out look out of the corner of my eye as she bent forward against the wood.

My mom groaned loudly from the kitchen, and dad's booming laughter quickly followed. "Get in here, Raiya, we're making your favorites!"

I turned to Hime, smugness seeping from every pore on my face. "Told ya."

She pouted.

"Best…son…ever," I mouthed silently. Tsunade swung her legs over the banister and slid stylishly the rest of the way down. I hoisted myself over it with one hand and jumped it entirely, landing silently on the living room's soft carpet.

Mom's voice called for me in the kitchen. "I can't believe my stinky baby is finally back!"

Tsunade turned to me, her turn to be smug and annoying. " _Told ya_."

I flipped her off.

"Yeah, yeah," I yelled. "I bet you missed this stink, Ma! But don't you worry—I have a whole bag full of ripe laundry upstairs with your name all over it!"

Dad's voice was loud and stern. "Don't you go pawning your dirty laundry onto your mother, you little shit!"

My mom walked through the door beads that hung in the open doorway leading to the kitchen. Seeing my lovely mother after being without her for so long brought tears to my eyes. I upset her deeply right before I left, and it's stuck with me this entire time. Years I've spent, tormented with regret over how I left things between us. _"Mom…"_ I said, my voice thick with shame. She saw fat droplets fall heavily and freely from my eyes and rushed over to me, using her thumbs to wipe them away.

"Ohhhh _, honey_. Don't you cry... you're home now." Despite her words, they only made me weep harder. She held my face in her hands gently, looking as though she wanted to start sobbing too. "I take that back," she said, stroking my face. "Cry all you want. Let it all out, Jiraiya."

I sobbed into the crook of her neck, my tears soaking the collar of dad's black cotton yukata she had on. "I'm alright, Mom. I just hate myself. I disrespected the coolest, funniest, most perfect mom in the world and never once made things right." She placed her hands on my shoulders and pulled back to look me in the eyes.

"Honey. You were overwhelmed and very hurt. I didn't like the things you said either, but they helped me understand how you've been feeling. Mistakes I've made in the past not only follow me but now my own son as well, and you've suffered dearly because of it. I am so sorry, baby."

My brow furrowed. "Ma, please don't apologize. I was out of line. I'd give anything to be able to take it all back. You don't make my life harder, Mom. I am not _suffering_. I only suffer when you're not around... I'm so sorry."

Her blue eyes started to overflow as she threw her arms around my neck and crushed me in a warm hug. It was so bizarre, finally being taller than her for the first time in my life. I disregarded it, though, concentrating instead on the soothing sound of her voice I've missed so much. "Raiya, I'm so glad you're finally home."

Dad walked over to us and wrapped his thick arms around mom and me. "Alright, alright. Everyone is sorry. Now let's hug it out and make some food. Tsuna, get in here."

Tsunade chuckled and lodged herself in the space between my dad and me, her left arm coming around my dad's upper back and her right snaking around the small of my back. Even Toro tried to get in on the action, butting his head against the back of my thigh and whining.

Mom was still sobbing. "I'm so blessed to have you all here with me. Every single one of you makes life worth living," she sniffled, wiping her eyes messily with the back of her hand. From the kitchen, something sizzled loudly, causing Taro to growl and bark in answer. " _Shit_ , the lobsters!" Mom disengaged herself unceremoniously from the group and ran into the kitchen.

Tsunade and I pulled away from Dad's hold slightly, but he maneuvered himself to grab and pull the both of us against his sides. "Your mom may have said you're forgiven, but expect retribution from me when we resume your weapons training." I gulped at the serious tone of my father's voice. Tsunade watched us awkwardly, caught in the middle of it all. "How _dare_ you say those things to your mother and leave without so much as a goodbye to _anyone_. Clearing it with Lord Third alone isn't enough. If it weren't for Tsunade here, your mother would still be an absolute wreck. You owe Tsuna your utmost respect and gratitude. I'm glad you're home too, son, I've sincerely missed you. But if you step even a _toe_ out of line... then I'm beatin' that ass until I don't feel so angry anymore."

I hung my head in disgrace. I deserved this reaction, understanding it to be perfectly justified. Nobody gets away with hurting his woman, not even me.

"I accept that, Dad. I'm gonna do everything I can to make it up to everyone, and I promise not to give up until that happens!" I leaned into his side, feeling vulnerable and ashamed. "I know how Mom downplays things whenever she's hurt. That's why I still feel so fucking terrible even when she says everything is okay. Plus, I've been so focused on what happened with her this whole time, I never even considered that I hurt you too, Dad. I just want to make things right again, I feel so scummy and shitty."

Dad gave me a pointed look. "Raiya, c'mon kid. Watch the language."

"My bad. It's just the truth," I sniffed.

Dad sighed and pulled me in tighter, crunching my ribs in the process. My arm that was wrapped around his waist brushed up against Tsunade's, where she was also holding onto him. I peeped over at her with watery eyes. I expected to see her looking uncomfortable with all this hugging and crying, knowing she hates being in situations like this. Instead, I saw her face snuggled up to my dad's shoulder, tears falling silently down her cheeks as she watched us thoughtfully.

_Wow... Mom and Dad managed to turn Hime into a total softie._

"Jiraiya?" Dad asked, his voice kind of small. It was very unlike him.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for coming home," he whispered brokenly. "I couldn't stand another minute without you here with us." He started to cry softly, his chest stuttering and vibrating. Tsunade shifted, reaching out to me with her free hand. I embraced her from my other side, and Dad encased us fully against his broad chest, crying onto the top of Tsunade's blonde head. We stayed there like that, crying silently until Dad calmed down.

"I love you kids so goddamn much."

"I love you too," we both said against his thick red yukata.

We all broke apart at last to gather ourselves. "We should see how Kagami is doing," he said, clearing his throat. "It's been chaos in there, she's cooking dinner for you while also prepping for Tsuna's birthday."

Chaos was an understatement. The moment we walked through the door-beads, Tsunade gasped and hustled frantically to the sink to wash her hands. My mom was chopping vegetables like a madwoman, covered in flour. Every burner on the stove was occupied with a pot full of seafood.

"Want me to do the pork cutlets?" Tsunade asked while drying her hands. Dad scooted in to wash his hands as well. I just stood there, watching everyone scramble to prepare this giant, late-night meal.

"Please!" Mom answered, sounding appreciative. "I'll fry them up when the seafood stew is almost done, but can you make the sauce and bread the pork for me?" Tsunade nodded happily. Mom cocked her head toward a large metal bowl on the table. "The sirloins are over here, do you remember everything in the sauce?"

Tsunade's light brown eyes moved to the ceiling as she tried to recall everything. "You blend together rice wine, garlic, onion, _and_... kiwi, right?"

Mom ran to the rice cooker when it started to ding. "Perfect, and what comes next?"

"You… slather the pork sirloin with the kiwi sauce and let it sit for ten minutes. Then, you season them with salt and pepper before covering the meat with flour, egg, and bread crumbs."

"Excellent."

Dad came up behind Mom as she shoveled several servings of rice into a giant bowl. "I'm still making the sushi, right?"

"Yes, sweetie, everything else you'll need is over there on the cutting board."

Dad smiled and gave her ear a little kiss. I wanted to make a loud, obnoxious cry of disgust like I've always done, but I decided to give them a pass this time. Especially since they were going through all this effort just to make me happy.

"Baka, come wash your hands and help me with the pork," Tsunade ordered, a big metal bowl in her arms.

"Hai."

"Grab me a handful of onion and a little bit of garlic from the cutting board." She poured some liquid rice wine into the blender and started chopping a couple of kiwis on the counter by the sink. On the table, my mom had already prepped for every dish she was going to make. There was a long pile full of thinly sliced veggies, both fresh and pickled. I assumed most of that was for the sushi. Among the clutter were rows of different seasonings, oils, and even various tea varieties set out for our choosing. After searching through chopped herbs, fruits, and vegetables, I finally found some minced garlic and diced onion in a pile. I scooped up a modest amount in each hand and brought them to Tsunade. "Now, put those in the blender for me and press chop."

I did as instructed, watching the chunky mixture turn into a smooth green liquid littered with black seeds. Hime cut the power, pouring the sauce onto the pieces of sirloin, her little hands slathering it all evenly before dusting it with more seasoning and washing her hands once more. "Now, we just wait a little bit, and then we can bread 'em."

At first, I didn't notice, but Hime left some extra kiwi pieces out when she had finished chopping them all. There was a modest amount on the counter, some cut into heart shapes and some into shuriken. "You did those _fast_ ," I chuckled, admiring her craftsmanship. "Very cute."

"Kagami-sama mentioned once they were your favorite fruit," she said nonchalantly. "Have some."

I held out my stinky hands. "Can't. Garlic fingers."

"I got you, dude," she grabbed a heart-shaped kiwi and stood on her tip-toes to place it in my mouth. My cheeks warmed up as I parted my lips for her fingers, going a little cross-eyed in the process. The bustling sounds coming from my parents ceased abruptly, and I glanced over Tsunade's head to see they were watching us with wide eyes. She froze, whipping her head to look over at Mom and Dad. They resumed their tasks at once, chopping and dicing with even more gusto than before. I smirked at their obvious nosiness.

"Hime," I said, trying to sound indifferent to not scare her off. "Lemme get another one before I wash my hands," I said, holding my fingertips and taking a whiff of the pungent garlic.

She grabbed two kiwi shuriken and held them in between two fingers like they were real. "Open up, Baka." She squinted her eyes, semi-poised into a throwing stance. Tsunade flung the little shuriken at me with grace. I caught it, sucking into my mouth and gulping it down. "Nice, now back up, I wanna see you catch one from all the way over there."

I backed up until I was in front of the door beads and waited for her move. I was amazed by Tsunade's impeccable dexterity. I never thought she would be able to toss something as flimsy as a slice of kiwi with deadly precision. I caught all of them but a stray heart-shaped one that hit the corner of my mouth and stuck to my chin. Tsunade giggled and skipped over to peel it off my face. She popped it in her mouth instead. "I forgot I was saving that one for me."

_Fuck, she's so hot._

If I thought Hime was gorgeous in my dark bedroom, she's downright _sexy_ standing here in this bright-ass kitchen. I couldn't help but notice those pink cheeks, her shiny long hair, the soft curves of her breasts and hips. My old clothes were so tiny and clingy on her. That skimpy kimono was barely long enough to cover her ass, putting those delicious thighs on full display.

Princess Tsunade had really gotten into martial arts as a way to balance out her medical ninjutsu. She was pretty scrawny when I left, aside from that round curvy ass of hers I've always loved. Her taijutsu training paid off; she now had defined biceps and triceps, and legs so toned I had to bite my knuckle to keep myself from ravishing her right there.

Dad cleared his throat, a painful reminder that we aren't alone.

"Tsunade, add the red pepper paste to the seafood while you wait on the meat, will ya?"

"Hai."

When she pulled the pot off the lid, I peered in to admire the shiny abalone, scallops, tiger shrimp, lobster, and squid. Tsunade grabbed the metal net, separating the seafood from the boiling water underneath and pouring its contents into the pot. She gathered a giant dollop of red pepper paste onto a wooden spoon and stirred it into the boil until the sauce was a thicker consistency, and the seafood was coated entirely in the deep red mixture. She squeezed lemons into the wide pot before covering it once again and lowering the heat.

"Jiraiya, can you grab the rice flour and bread crumbs from the table?"

I nodded and collected two bowls of ingredients from Mom, ignoring my parents' smug looks, most likely aimed at my dutifulness to Tsunade's orders. Mom was biting her lip, and Dad looked like he was in pain from stifling giggles. I rolled my eyes. _Dicks_.

In Tsunade's little cooking area, she made a spread of empty platters next to her bowl of sirloins. She was emptying eggs into a small mixing bowl, whipping them together.

"Dump the flour on one platter and bread crumbs on the other," she instructed as she kept mixing the eggs until they were completely yellow. I left the other one empty and leaned my hip on the counter to watch her work. She hummed to herself as she started to grab each cut of sirloin, rolling it in flour, slathering it in egg before packing it in bread crumbs and placing it on the empty platter. I followed suit, making sure every piece of meat was evenly covered during each step of the process. Before long, the platter was covered in a pile of breaded pork. My mouth watered thinking about how they'll taste once they're fried.

"What else can we help you with?"

"We got it covered, guys. Why don't you two go catch up or something." Dad said distractedly while rolling the sushi on the bamboo. Hime and I washed our hands in the sink's warm water, egg and bread crumbs swirling down the drain.

Mom crinkled her nose teasingly. "Or better yet, you could go take a shower, Jiraiya." From across the room, I saw her sniff again, nonchalant, before her eyes suddenly widened, bewildered. My blood ran cold. The look of astonishment on her face told me she must have caught Tsunade's scent on me or vice-versa. She may have been too distracted in the heat of the moment to notice earlier while we all embraced. Pursing my lips, I turned on my heel before she could say anything about it to me.

"Let's go upstairs, Hime. I can show you the new video game I bought in that one really bougie part of Fire Country." I grabbed two cold water bottles from the fridge and left the kitchen.

Tsunade trailed behind, sounding confused. "A video game?"

"It's awesome. You get to play as this frog, and you need to hop over things before they crush you. It's rad."

When we got upstairs, I shut the door and started rummaging through my giant bag. "Okay, I lied about the video game. I have to buy a new TV that has the right inputs for the cords, and mine is way too old for that." I gestured to the tube TV across from my bed.

She shrugged. "Uhh, okay?"

"Here's what I _really_ wanted to show you."

I handed her a heavy bag with an ounce of stinky weed from the Land of Waves. She squinted. "I don't know what I'm looking at."

I nodded my head at the bag. "Try smelling it, then."

She brought the bag to her nose and inhaled. " _Ew_! Is this the skunky shit Sarutobi-sensei is always smoking whenever he watches us fight?"

"Yes," I admit reluctantly. "But just hear me out! You're absolutely gonna fall in love with it."

"I don't think this is a good idea. There's no way Kagami-sama won't smell it."

"She told me long ago I was free to partake in this once I turned 17. Besides, she smokes all the time. Mom would be a hypocrite to get mad at us."

"Lady Kagami smokes?"

"Duh! Have you _seen_ my mom?" Hime's eyes were wide with stunned curiosity. "Her and Sarutobi-sensei were super tight growing up, they used to get high with each other on the regular. I'm sure to this day they still do when they find the time."

She scratched her chin, considering my argument. I knew I had her the moment I mentioned Mom likes it. It's no secret to me that Tsunade idolizes her.

"Hmmm. Okay, Baka. I'll try it. But what should I expect?"

I grabbed a thin elastic headband from my pocket and placed it on my head to tame the shaggy bangs that always get in the way. "You should anticipate being _really_ hungry, and for food to taste a million times better. You might see some shit too, but for the most part, it's just this fantastic fuzziness that kinda washes over you. I guess everyone is different, but that's the best way I can describe it."

"I guess I do wanna see for myself…" she said bashfully, scratching her eyebrow.

"Sweet. I want to do this in the bathroom, though, so we don't smell up my room," I say as I skillfully roll some herb into a cone-shaped joint. I began working on another, wanting to roll three perfect ones and take them all to the head before my folks finished cooking. "I'm also gonna be taking a bath while we smoke."

Tsunade shook her head. "You perv, I'm not gonna do this while you're in the _bath_!"

"The steam of the water will mingle with the smoke and carry it out the window. Plus, I'm sick of everyone reminding me how bad I smell. I don't wanna see my mom gag at me while we all eat." Not to mention the need to scrub off Hime's leftover scent covering my mouth, neck, and chest before my mom starts asking questions. I finished rolling the third joint, admiring my handiwork. "I'm smoking in there whether you join me or not, so it's your choice. I promise to be a gentleman as long as you don't take a peek at me while I'm... _indecent_." I wiggled my eyebrows at her, making her cheeks flush red.

I grabbed the last set of clean clothes from my bag, hearing a resigned sigh from behind me. "Okay, fine," she relented. I set my clothes on the counter and opened the small window by the toilet. I tossed her a cold water bottle.

"Your throat might get too hot, or you might start coughing a lot. If that happens, start drinking."

"Hai," she said quietly as I let the hot water in the shower run.

I set the other two joints on top of my folded clothes and sparked the other one up with a lit match. I puffed in and out rapidly to get the smoke to travel down and burn evenly, before inhaling. I held it in the back of my throat, savoring the taste and feel of the smoke before blowing it all out the open window.

"When you put it to your lips, inhale steadily and let the smoke gather in your mouth and the back of your throat. Only inhale for as long as you're comfortable. Then suck it all in and hold it for a few seconds so it can work its way into your lungs. Then, you just let it all out and pass it back to me."

I demonstrated again before placing the lit joint in her outstretched fingers. She took a deep breath and brought it her lips cautiously, sucking it in casually before sputtering and coughing. She handed it back to me and wiped her mouth. "It tastes funny."

I exhaled and handed it back. "It eventually becomes an acquired taste. If you end up liking it, that is." Tsunade took a bigger hit this time and held it in for 5 seconds before blowing it out, a look of unadulterated calm on her face. She took a sip of cold water.

"I feel kind of heavy… it's intense but also nice." She tried to hand it back to me, but I shook my head.

"I gotta wash out all this dirt in my hair before I actually start a bath. Go ahead and finish that one off, it's almost done anyway." She did as I suggested, perching herself on the sink and eyeing me while I removed my robe, leaving me in just my white martial arts pants and the wired armor top underneath. I removed the fishnet shirt to find her watching at me as she took a long drag. "Don't go peeking on me while I bathe, I know that shower curtain is see-through."

"The nerve of you to tell _me_ not to peep," she chuckled, moving to the floor of the bathroom to sit criss-cross on the rug in front of the tub. She made sure her back was to me so I could finish disrobing. I tried not to get myself too worked up, gazing at the back of her head as I took the rest of my clothes off.

I stepped into the running hot water, toes flinching as they made contact with the cold porcelain floor. I rolled my sore neck under the spray as the room filled with steam.

"Shit, Tsunade. You really took over my bathroom." I muttered as I looked at all the shelves full of colorful bottles, beauty products, and soaps.

"I made them myself," she says as she enters a coughing fit. "The white and red bottles are for your hair specifically. The formula shouldn't interfere with that permanent jutsu you have on your hair, while still keeping it shiny and healthy. Feel free to try it out and tell me what you think." I reached to grab them but knocked over like a hundred bottles in the process, producing a ruckus of noise. Tsunade coughed before chuckling to herself. "Spazzy Baka-chan."

"Shut up," I murmured as I hurried and washed my hair and body with the refreshing sudsy liquids. Once I was adequately rinsed off, I plugged the drain with a stopper and began running the bathwater, warm water pooling at my ankles. "Which one's the bubble bath?"

"The big gold one."

"I'm pouring all of it, so the bubbles protect my modesty."

I could practically hear Tsunade roll her eyes. "Oh my god, whatever."

Once it was bubbly enough for my liking, I sat down and pulled the shower curtain open, startling Tsunade and making her jolt slightly. Her bright eyes were now pink and glassy.

"You are so high," I chuckled as I sank in, the water sloshing slightly with my movements. "Can you grab the other two? I'm finally ready to _relax_ ," I sigh, leaning back against the tile wall, my arms behind my head. Tsunade sat on the edge of the bathtub, evading my eyes. She held the joint up to her face and made a one-handed sign with her free hand. She shut her eyes and spit on the joint, but instead of saliva coming out, a small fire jumped from her mouth and landed on the end of the doobie, lighting it instantly. She passed it to me.

"I feel amazing. Everything feels kinda wavy, though. It's also really humid in here." She said, wiping her brow of sweat.

"Yeah, I prefer smoking outside. I just know the neighbors will watch and judge and us."

I hit the joint so hard that some of the ash fell into the bath with me. "Oop." I leaned over to place it in her outstretched fingers, grazing one of them intentionally just because. "Tsunade-hime… these soaps are marvelous. My skin feels so soft and creamy."

She hiccupped smoke and gave me a thumbs up. Her eyes were pink and half-lidded, I've never seen her look so dopey. "Whatcha thinkin' about, babydoll?"

"About how I'm gonna fuck that food up," she said quietly.

I started cracking up, choking on my hit, nearly dropping the whole thing in the water.

"I'm cool on that, Jiraiya."

"Yeah, you look blazed as shit. Enjoy," I say, flicking the ash on the edge of the bathtub. I stretched out my tired body, the heat of the water seeping into my aching muscles, making me groan with relief. I leaned my head all the way back, my hand on my chest grazing the skin absentmindedly while I simply enjoyed the high. As soon as I was fully relaxed, my eyelids started twitching. I opened my eyes to find Tsunade staring at me openly as she leaned back on her palms.

"You must really like what you see," I tease, my hand rubbing aimless circles into my sternum. Hime opened her mouth like she was gonna cuss me out, then she snapped it closed, going with nothing instead. She pouted, turning her head away from me.

"It doesn't matter if I do or not," she fired back. "Either way, your mouth ruins everything."

_Geez, I was only messing around._

"How would you know? You've never let me use my mouth to its fullest capabilities."

It may have been quiet, but I made out her incredulous gasp.

"Stupid, pervy-Baka," she whispered.

" _You're_ the pervy one… sleeping in my bed, wearing my clothes…" Hime swiveled back around to give me the finger. My eyes went straight to her cleavage, finally able to marvel in their majesty in the bright lights of an empty room. Even though she slept in that heavy netted armor, my robe's lavender panels still failed to contain those supple breasts, providing me with an exceptional view. The thick, purple obi that ties it all together looked strained like any minute it would no longer be able to accommodate her luscious flesh. She's still pretty short compared to me, but her growth spurt was apparent in those defined legs. My lips parted as I ogled the skin of her shapely thighs.

"No, Jiraiya, _you're_ still the pervy one. I'm not the one sitting there drooling. Literally."

I ignored her, still gawking at her legs ardently. "You have nice gams." My hand shot up to my face, meeting a nice little puddle of saliva at the corner of my mouth. _Goddammit, she wasn't exaggerating._ "Okay, fine, I'm the perverted one! But have you seen yourself? It's like you're _trying_ to tease me. How come my parents let you walk around like that?"

Her hand reached in the water, and my mouth fell open in horror, my mind working to prepare me for the unexpected. For a lurid moment, I assumed she might just grab my dick in the water. My body went slack involuntarily, anticipating the unlikely. But instead, she splashed me in the face while my mouth was open.

_Should've known._

"Maybe because, unlike you, they don't see me like I'm a piece of meat!"

There was an unexpected, jarring bang on the other side of my bathroom door. Tsunade and I both flinched.

"Uhhhhhhhh… come in?" I call out numbly.

Mom entered the bathroom with an amused smirk. If she was shocked to see the two of us in here, smoking dope while I take a bath, she doesn't let on. On the other hand, Tsunade's eyes bulged out of her head as she glanced back and forth between Mom and me. I can hardly imagine what _I'd_ do if the situations were reversed. If Lady Niwa caught _me_ getting high with Tsunade while _she's_ naked in the tub, I'd probably become a rouge-nin and never come back. Mom's hands went straight to her hips as she swung her wild silver hair over her shoulder with an austere look.

I grimaced. "Heyyy... Sup?"

"Jiraiya, if you're going to smoke in my house, you're going to have to at least pay the Mommy Tax."

"Way ahead of you. Tsunade, could you give her the last one?"

Tsunade went to the sink, plucked the joint from the pile of folded clothes, and placed it in Mom's upturned palm. My mother's face scrunched up in offense.

"What's wrong?"

"This is it?" She complained, pointing at her hand in confusion.

"Ma, it's from the Land of Waves."

She held it up to her nose and sniffed it. It was apparent she gathered it really was the good shit because Mom smiled and tucked the joint behind her ear. "I'll take it. They've been working on this shit like it's the cure to cancer over there." Mom's eyes darted between the two of us, her lips twitching slightly. "Food will be ready in ten."

She left without another word, closing the door behind her with a small click. Tsunade looked mortified, so I tried to distract her with a subject change. Poor girl.

"One day, Hime, you and I are gonna vacation together in the Land of Waves."

She gave me a funny look. "Oh really?"

"Mhm," I breathe, popping my neck. "There's so much to do. We could drink sake, gamble, get high... go _surfing_. It's paradise over there."

"I do love the beach... I'd be shit at surfing, though."

"I thought the same thing, but I tried it, and it's actually fucking easy. You would love it."

"Okay. I'll go with you someday," Tsunade said quietly, playing with the ends of her blonde hair. I tried to imagine her words had a different meaning than what she actually meant.

Tsunade lifted herself off the edge of the tub. "I'm gonna help Kagami-sama set the table."

"That'll be nice because she's definitely getting high with Dad as we speak."

She chuckled as she exited the bathroom, leaving me to my own devices. For one desperate moment, I considered jerking myself off to relieve all this overwhelming tension. Maybe then I'd be able to think straight.

Instead, I drained the tub and dried my hair and body off. On the sink was a small round bottle full of lotion. It looked homemade, exactly like everything else in the shower. I didn't hesitate, slathering the cream all over my body. It smelled like Tsunade-hime when we were tangled in bed earlier. _Ripe peaches..._

I put on a baggy black T-shirt, with a fat smoking toad emblazoned on the back, paired with navy blue basketball shorts. I stepped out of the foggy bathroom to find Tsunade sprawled out on the bed. So much for helping with the table. She was way too fucked up at the moment for anything like that. I jumped on the bed, belly-first directly on top of Tsunade. Only, she vanished in a puff of smoke the moment we made contact. "Shadow clone," I said bitterly.

Something heavy landed on my back with a thud, two arms snaking around my neck and putting me in a chokehold. They tightened their grip around my windpipe and compressed, forcing all the air to flee from my body.

I felt firm breasts against my shoulder blades. _Fuck, they are so nice…_

"Fight back, you fucking weirdo!"

If I hadn't let her get all this leverage, I probably could've grappled my way out of it. It was too late for that, now I could barely breathe. I just concentrated on the feel of her breasts while my face was smashed into my mattress.

"Ugh, you're no fun." She let go of me and rolled onto her back.

 _"Kids! Food!"_ Dad's voice shouted from downstairs.

The low table in the living room was completely covered with plates and bowls of food. My mom was sitting on her knees in front of it, looking a little dazed and exhausted. She had a Polaroid camera in her hands. "Before you eat, I wanted to get some photos of my two precious babies."

_I also want to get some photos of my two precious babies—Tsunade's titties._

I couldn't resist glancing over at the fishnet-covered flesh orbs out of my peripherals. Suddenly, a flash of light almost blinded me. When I looked up at Tsunade's face, she was posing. She grinned cutely, winking an eye, with a dainty hand throwing up a peace sign, her chopsticks almost sliding out of her hand's grip. I couldn't remember the last time I had seen her look so carefree and delighted.

_Gods, she's beautiful._

"Jiraiya, you were being gross in that one," Mom complained. "Now, let's try again. I want some silly ones first."

I squared my shoulders and exhaled. I would make my mom regret ever unironically asking me to be silly in front of one of my friends. I sucked in my top lip, curling it inward to expose my gums and teeth atrociously. My fingertips swiftly reached up to flip my eyelids inside out. I struck a macho man pose, flexing my arms obnoxiously.

_Click._

"Sheesh. I can't tell which one of you is worse." Dad chuckled.

I looked over at Tsunade, who was holding up devil horns in both hands. Her eyes were rolled so far back into her head that you could only see the whites. Only her eyes were still pinkish because she was high as fucking balls. Her tongue was pushed out as far as it could go, and I never realized, but it was kind of freakishly long? I filed that down for later contemplation and tried to memorize the look of her eyes rolling back into her head, for... uh, posterity reasons.

"I said _silly_ , not terrifying," Mom bemoaned.

"Let's do some hand signs," Tsunade whispered.

I gave an exaggerated pose to the camera, my eyebrow raised, and my eyes dopey. My left hand came up to make the 'shocker' gesture, extending all my fingers, all but the ring finger and thumb, to signify the act of slipping a pinky finger in someone's butt.

 _Click_.

"Both of you cut it out."

Tsunade had an impish smirk on her face, her fingers making the sign for intercourse. We both started cracking up, my mom choosing then to take advantage of the moment and snap a few more photos.

"Alright, ditch the jokes. Give me some sweet ones, and then I'll be out of your hair." We gave her what she wanted, posing and smiling like two kids on their first day at the Academy. I threw my arm around Hime's shoulder and tried to summon the charm of a five-year-old through my grin. "Aww, my little _babies,"_ my mom fawned, setting the camera down on the table.

"Mom, Dad… Thank you so much for going to all this trouble. As much as I love Shima, I felt like dying eating her cooking. I'm just not used to your home-cooked meals anymore."

"Well, you'd better start getting used to it. I thought you would be much, much bigger by now. You're tall, but you're still skinny from eating bugs all these years. I wanna make my widdle baby chubby again," Mom said in that weird little baby talk voice she knows disturbs me. Only right now, hearing it just makes my heart feel like its overflowing with love as I try not to explode with laughter.

"God, I was hoping you'd say that," I beamed while we broke apart our chopsticks.

"Itadakimasu," we all chimed with buzzing anticipation.

So much food to choose from, but what I wanted most was already served up in front of me: thick, crispy pork cutlets on a steaming bed of rice. The dish Tsunade-hime and I prepared together. One giant bite and tears were already falling down my cheeks. My face buckles and tears roll unchecked, washing a path to my chin. I feel a hand grab mine gently on the table, glancing over to see Princess Tsunade studying me; there was no judgment in her eyes, though— only a tenderness that stole the breath from my lungs.

_You've finally made it, dude. You're home._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wanted to thank everyone for checking up on me while they waited for the next chapter. ive been struggling hard these past few months with depression. my family is both emotionally and physically abusive and i had to be hospitalized for some time. im doing my best to stay positive and keep writing, but some days are just really fucking hard. ill try to post as often as i can, but my mom smashed my computer so i have to write using my phone now. idk... shit just sucks right now. feel free to tell me your thoughts on the story, because comments always melt my heart and give me life. love you all and thank you so much for reading.


	9. Prophecy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jiraiya's parents piss him off during dinner.

**Jiraiya, age 17**

Dirty, half-eaten plates blanketed the low table, but no one paid them any mind as we made up for three years worth of lost time. My eyes kept flitting over at Tsunade-hime next to me, sucking spicy sauce noisily off her fingers. I found myself unable to break my stare fully, my mind foggy as she absentmindedly wrapped her lips around her thumb to lick off some excess seasoning. She turned her head left to glance over at me, and I immediately assumed she would give me a dirty look. But instead, she pulled it out of her mouth with a 'pop' and simply gave me a thumbs-up. Her grin was interrupted by an abrupt hiccup.

_How does she manage to be even cuter when she's stoned?_

Dad snapped his fingers at me, impatiently. This isn't the first time my story trailed off while ogling an uncharacteristically oblivious Tsunade during dinner.

When I initially left the village, I didn't go straight to Mt. Myōboku to start my Sage training, opting instead to travel and explore every land in the Five Great Nations. As confident as I was with my stealth skillset, I didn't dare infiltrate any actual Hidden Villages during my travels. Doing so would have put the Leaf Village in major hot water if I got caught. The curiosity of it all nearly killed me, though.

My first three months away from home were spent traipsing through the Lands of Fire, Wind, Lightning, Earth, and Waves. I tried my best to describe the meals I was blessed enough to share, the different scenery I was lucky enough to behold, and all the notable people I met along the way.

Tsunade looked captivated during my tale before she shook her head at me with mock disdain, wrapping a massive bite of noodles around her chopsticks. "I cannot _believe_ you started off your training with a 90-day vacation." She unhinged her jaw and slurped up that giant bite, her cheeks ballooning in size like a chipmunk with all the food in her mouth. My eyes flitted over to mom, gesturing at Tsunade with my head. _You know what to do, Ma._

Mom nodded once, understanding instantly. She grabbed her camera from the table.

_Click!_

Just like that, Mom and I immortalized squirrel girl on film. Tsunade was too high to even notice. I laughed silently before proceeding as if nothing just happened.

"It was hardly a ' _vacation_.' Well, all the surfing I did kinda felt like a vacation. But I spent most of my time doing favors for civilians and straight-up whooping ass! Free of charge, too," I huffed indignantly, crossing my arms. "Spent weeks helping rebuild a small village, including this big 'ol bridge."

"You're quite lazy, so I'm pleased to hear you put in some hard work for those civilians." Mom smiled at me, and I rolled my eyes to the ceiling. I swear, she can never compliment me without insulting me first.

"When it's all said and done, though, I guess it was pretty fun. Plus, I brought along a ton of gifts for you guys. They're all sealed upstairs."

That last bit piqued everyone's interest.

Mom growled an order at me flatly in the lowest voice she could muster, slamming her manicured fist on the table. "Bring them to me at _once_."

Dad chuckled next to her. "Your Madara impression is getting better, Ami."

Tsunade buzzed next to me, grabbing me by the forearm with two hands and jostling me like a rag doll back and forth. "Ooh! Save my present for later on today, okay, Baka-chan?"

I gave her a stanky look of dismissal. "Oh, I didn't get _you_ shit."

She blinked once, her mouth dropping open. Then she started laughing, harshly shoving me off my butt pillow.

"You almost got me," Tsunade snickered.

"Like I don't have an entire scroll sealed full of goodies dedicated to you alone."

Dad cleared his throat, pointing to the ceiling. "Less talkie, more gettie."

I brought down their scroll, knowing my dad would prefer to watch me unroll it with care and unseal the thing in front of everyone. He's such a nerd for all things fūinjutsu.

For my mom, I gifted her with a handwritten short story by yours truly. I had made sure to use my neatest calligraphy as I filled in the fancy hardcover book's blank pages. I was anxious, not knowing if Mom would still enjoy my writing now that I'm no longer a cute little kid. She seemed eager to read it, thankfully. I also gave her a fancy aqua blue haori with the Hatake Clan crest emblazoned on the back. The last gift of hers was a hand-painted ocarina, which made her squeal happily and start playing a soft tune.

For Dad, I gave him special paint from the Land of Earth, a black and white checkered haori that bore the Hatake crest in bold red, and a steel tanto with obsidian and pearl inlay on the tip of the handle.

Mom gave her family's ancestral symbol a tired, empty look. Fingers reached out to trace the lines of a diamond. Lines intersected within it to form nine smaller individual diamonds; the Hatake insignia intending to represent the layout of a farm.

"Those haoris are handmade by the best dyer in Lightning Country, Keiko Higurashi. She even remade my flame kimono when I hit my growth spurt." Mom still looked disturbingly blank, and I started to panic. "Now, I know you don't like to represent your clan, but it would make Uncle Sakumo happy if you guys started bearing the crest. You two would look so badass, trust me. It's not like anyone even talks to Grandpa Katsu anyway."

I never learned about what happened between my mom and my grandfather. Though, I'm guessing it had to do with her reputation and the gossip that swirled around the village. Of course, no one ever tells me jack shit about anything.

An awkward silence passed.

"That's because my father died while you were away. Almost a year ago, now," Mom said in a hollow voice.

I didn't know what to think of his death because I hadn't seen much of him since I was maybe five years old. Still, it was shocking news.

"How did he die?"

My mom chuckled without humor, showing emotion for the first time since she played her ocarina. "The way he was destined to," she scoffed bitterly.

_What the fuck is that supposed to even mean?_

"Cirrhosis of the liver," Tsunade answered quietly, reading my mind. Sensing my confusion, she gave me a soft look. "Alcoholism. He, um, happened to pass away during one of my training shifts at the hospital. I'm sorry, Jiraiya."

_Alcoholism?_

"Your uncle is officially the leader of the Hatake Clan now. He restored your mom's title as Lady Hatake. For us as well, considering I married into her clan as she was in the process of being disowned."

"As if any of it even matters." Mom looked so upset. I was kicking myself for bringing up her side of the family. I'm just so out of the loop with everything I never know what to think or say. My mother let out a weary sigh. "I'm going to make some more tea."

Tsunade stood up, following her to the kitchen. "I'll help.”

My head was swimming with both regret and annoyance when Dad and I made eye contact. “I didn't expect that to go so terribly."

"Ah, you didn't know. She'll be fine."

Mom's garment lay on the surface of the table, folded neatly. "The color stood out to me because I know it's her favorite. I honestly thought she would like it." Her face even lit up when she saw it until she noticed her clan emblem. _Way to go, dumbass._

"She's always had complicated feelings about her clan. Please don't take it personally, Raiya. I'm certain she'll tell you why when she's ready." I nodded dejectedly, wishing I didn't sour the entire spirit of the night. "Listen, I'm positive she is still going to wear it. You best believe _I'll_ be wearing _mine_. Badass was correct. I can't wait to flex my new threads on the entire village."

Without warning, my anxiety started to dissipate. "Thanks, Pop."

He grinned back at me. "Now, can you tell me about your Sage training? I've been dying to hear about it, you know."

Mom and Tsunade returned to the table, setting a steaming pot down in the middle of everything.

"After training up there for several months, I was summoned by the Great Toad Sage," I say around a thick bite of grilled eel. My mom and Hime looked a tad unfazed as they refilled their glasses, not recognizing the importance. Dad choked on his tea, sputtering liquid, and coughing.

" _Gamamaru_?" His wide eyes bore into mine as he wiped at his chest. "And what was the nature of your visit, exactly?"

"He, um, saw a vision involving me," I gulped, suppressing a shiver at the memory. "A prophecy, I mean."

This captured the rest of the table's full attention. Mom turned to Dad, her face curdled with worry. Tsunade patiently observed us all with silent curiosity.

"Who is the Great Toad Sage? Should I be worried?" Mom murmured loudly. Dad opened his mouth, thinking of something to say, but choosing to say nothing and snapping his mouth shut. Mom reached out to shake his shoulder. " _Honey, tell me_ ," she raised her troubled voice even higher.

"The Great Toad Sage is an ancient, highly revered and well-respected toad of Mt. Myōboku. Anything he sees _will_ come to pass. His visions not only have saved the very planet itself but helped birth and preserve the shinobi way of life," Dad finished, sounding disturbed as he continued. "Son, do you remember everything he told you?"

Three pairs of eyes locked on to me, making the hairs on my arm stand at attention unsettlingly.

"Uh, I do have it all written down, but I remember every word."

Letting out a deep breath, I collected my thoughts and recited my prophecy, starting with the embarrassing part. "Firstly, he said that I would go on to become a talented ninja with stupendous skill..." I exhaled. "And a pervert without equal."

Tsunade snorted, still unable to thoroughly read the room of its sudden change in atmosphere. "Even cosmic toads are aware of your lechery?"

"Uh, yeah. I believe the words Ōjiji-sama used were ' _he who is singularly pervy...'"_ I coughed, embarrassed. "I don't know that part isn't relevant," I finished quickly.

My mom gave me a distasteful look despite being initially freaked out at the mention of the word prophecy.

"Honey, you really need to kick that habit of yours. You don't want to be known as the village deviant."

Dad gave Mom an incredulous look, muttering under his breath. "You'd know all about _that,_ Ami _._ "

_Excuse me, what did he just fucking say?_

The unique thing about my family is that we all have an exaggerated physical sense that gives us an edge over people who are without. For example, my dad possesses eyesight so sharp it could rival the Hyuga if it weren't for the fact that he didn't have x-ray vision. It must be why his art is so fantastic. Mom's sense of smell was so advanced, being able to even smell emotions such as anger or joy. Her nose is the reason her cooking skills are unparalleled. And I happened to be born with advanced hearing. Ever since I was little, my ears could pick up sound from great distances. My super-hearing has forever been a priceless asset to my espionage skills. Anyway, my point is... when someone mumbles something under their breath, I will always hear every single fucking word.

"What did you just say about Mom?" Dad looked at me with bewilderment at my threatening tone. I didn't understand why he would make the same insinuations as the rest of the dumb ass villagers in front of me, no less.

Mom smacked Dad upside the head. "Way to go, idiot," she whispered under her breath.

" _Ow!_ I was only joking because he gets it from you, Miss Peeping Tom," He muttered back, rubbing the back of his head.

_Miss. Peeping. Tom?!_

"Uhh... is everything okay?" Hime asked, totally in the dark.

"Disregard all of that please, it's just a misunderstanding," she rushed, chuckling nervously. "Forgive us for derailing everything, Jiraiya."

I cleared my throat, praying to the gods that I somehow heard my father wrong.

"Ōjiji-sama said I would walk across the world as a Sage _,_ observing all creation, watching as nature takes its course. I will travel the world twice over, writing books of my adventures. In doing so, I will one day be brought face to face with the Child of Prophecy. Um... that child shall be my student, and they will cause a sweeping revolution to the world of shinobi. Geezer Sage foretold that my actions alone toward the child will shape this revolution as either the world's salvation or its destruction."

Everybody was silent. Mom and Dad never looked so horrified.

"Oh my god, we are fucking doomed," my mother uttered quietly.

 _What the fuck is_ with _them?_

"Can you guys please _chill_?"

My father's eyes were suddenly like stone.

"You just said there is a 50% chance your future student will destroy the world. We're going to take it seriously."

Tsunade, on the other hand, was a lot more optimistic.

"Eh, so _what_ if it's a 50/50 shot? Those are amazing odds if you think about it."

"Those are _terrible_ odds, Tsuna," my father deadpanned, slapping his forehead with his palm in frustration. I know he didn't mean anything by it, but they could both be pretty fucking rude when they were stressed out.

"This is life and death, not a goddamn game of cards you'll inevitably lose because you're _shit_ at gambling." He pinched his nose in frustration.

_Nevermind, he crossed the fucking line._

My fist clenched on the table. "Don't talk to Tsunade like that."

Dad squinted at my fist before his eyes met mine, looking as though he wanted to reach over the table and strangle me.

"You both need to settle the fuck down," Mom warned.

Tsunade ignored my dad's comments as if they were nothing, waving her hand flippantly. She must hear far worse things at home.

Her whisky eyes met mine.

"Listen, Baka," Tsunade said, putting her hands on my shoulders and jostling me while she spoke animatedly. "The Hokage gambles on 50/50 odds every single day, life vs. death, _always_." She shook me semi-roughly as if she were trying to knock the anxious thoughts right out of my ears. "Sarutobi-sensei has faith in you; I know it to be true. Remember earlier when I said you're the wisest guy I know? _You_ can do this. Kagami and Sanjiro are the best teachers in the entire village, and they're your parents. You have everything you need," she jabbed me lightly in the sternum with a red nail, "right _here_."

Moments like these made me glad we were teammates. She loves to give me shit, but I know she'll always have my back in the end. Mom and Dad had the decency to look guilty after Hime's pep talk. Their job is to be supportive, but sometimes they're just fucking assholes. I didn't expect an apology because I knew I wouldn't get one, so I quietly dropped it.

"I'll be sure to disclose all of this to Lord Third tomorrow."

" _First_ thing tomorrow," Dad commanded.

Mom nodded in agreement. "I want you to meet me in the Training Fields right after. I'm going to be there with my squad of genin. Your real training officially begins," she said sternly.

" _God_ , why do you guys sound like you're punishing me?"

I don't want to spend my first day back with a bunch of brats and a mad mommy. Fuck all that noise.

"It's not a punishment. We gotta do what we can to prepare you for the future." Despite her stark tone, Mom yawned deeply, and my Dad followed suit.

"It's almost 2 in the morning. You guys should get some rest," Tsunade suggested gently.

 _Yeah_ , I agreed internally. _Go the fuck to bed._

Mom hurried over to give hugs and kisses to us both. The moment she was close, I could smell sake. Were they drunk this whole time? She looked me hard in the eye like she really meant business.

"Don't keep Tsunade up too late, Raiya. She has an important test in the morning and a long birthday ahead of her."

"Hai."

"Tsuna, your birthday bento is in the fridge. Don't forget, okay?"

"Thank you, Kagami-sama. You're the best."

Dad stopped at the foot of the stairs, swaying slightly on his feet.

"You're sleeping in the den, Raiya."

"Mhm," I grunted. _No, the fuck I am not._

"I mean it."

"I know." _And I don't care._

As smart as they are, they're fools if they believe for a second I'm not sleeping in _my_ bed with _my_ girl.

Mom waved tiredly. "Goodnight, my loves. Happy Birthday, Tsunade."

Tsunade grinned. "Sleep well."

When they disappeared up the stairs, I felt like I could finally breathe.

"What the fuck?" I whispered.

"I've seen them drunk before, but they're always so silly and happy-go-lucky." Tsunade contemplated. "Never seen them so testy."

"Nothing like my presence to take away their happiness."

"Don't be like that. They're just stressed, I think." Tsunade climbed in my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck. "We should do something to take your mind off of them," she suggested in a small, innocent voice.

"Hmm... what did you have in mind?"

I thought she might say something naughty, judging by her sultry body language. She tapped a finger on her lip in contemplation.

"Let's smoke some more and eat sweets in your room. And I wanna watch a movie."

I chuckled. "Whatever you want, Hime."

She rubbed her palms up and down my shoulders. "But first, I wanna get high on the roof and make out."

"Done."

I grabbed her by the neck and kissed her roughly, shuddering at how she always opens up so nicely. My tongue outlined her lower lip timidly, feeling her body flutter against mine in my lap. A low rumble left me before I could stop it, but Hime only hummed sweetly into my mouth. My hands wrapped themselves around her slight waist as I repositioned her higher in my lap, her legs crooked over my hips. I held Tsunade tightly to me, my hand burning hot against the small of her back while the other moved down to feel the smooth skin of her thigh, leisurely creeping its way up in languid circles.

She pulled back a centimeter. "Shouldn't we take this upstairs?"

Glancing behind her, all I saw was the mess from dinner, and I inwardly groaned. My parents definitely want this cleaned up by morning.

"First, I should take care of this eyesore."

Tsunade shook her head. "Ah, hold on." She formed a hand sign. "Shadow Clone Jutsu." A clone of hers appeared next to us and started to clear off the table.

"I like the way you think, Senju."

"Oh yeah? Then watch this. _Transform_."

Hime's shadow clone went from her exact likeness to Lord Danzō's. Only, he was dressed in a skimpy maid's outfit.

"What the hell! Tsunade, your imagination is filthy."

"What? I thought it would be funny. Now, get back here."

We started kissing again as Lord Danzō cleaned up the living room and started on the dishes. From the kitchen, his smug decrepit voice called out to no one in particular. "I've never been afraid to get my hands dirty in the name of the Leaf Village. Unlike Sandaime, I protect this village under the shadows of darkness."

Tsunade pulled away from my lips. "That's crazy, Maid-sama, because I don't remember asking."

Laughter ripped through me as I captured her mouth again. I can't tell you how refreshing it is to come home and see Hime is healing, letting go of her paranoia and self-consciousness, and finally _enjoying_ herself. I was simultaneously both proud and terrified.

Truthfully, I'd never seen her behave so shamelessly before tonight. But I am all for it, though. She's always been just as uptight as Orochimaru, and yet, only an hour ago, she was suggesting the two of us fuck. Bizarre doesn't even cover it.

_I don't care what's gotten into her, as long as I'm next._

Tsunade tilted her head back, a soft cry escaping her as my mouth left hers to press kisses along her jaw, gradually making my way to her ear. My tongue brushed the skin behind it, earning a squirm from her. I nipped her lobe gently, my breaths coming out broken and rough.

"Ready to take this upstairs?" I asked her softly.

"Take me up there. _Now_ ," she ordered, sounding like a true princess.

I braced my knees and stood up, carrying Princess Tsunade bridal-style to the stairs. Everything seemed to feel more strange and dream-like with every step I take with her in my arms. My entire body buzzed with anticipation.

_Shit, Hime. That's all you had to say._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> had to split up the chapter again for length reasons, so sorry for the short update. i promise next one is almost finished and will be much longer :)


	10. Distant Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jiraiya is forced to refuse a princess.

**Jiraiya, age 17**

_Don't even breathe, Jiraiya. Keep it pushing._

I'm feather-light on my feet as I carry my comrade upstairs, taking extra caution to be quiet while passing my parents' bedroom. Being a teenager in a ninja family can suck major balls. Shinobi households aren't exactly big on privacy, so you can never truly get away with anything. I mean, just imagine trying to sneak out at night, but your mother is a goddamn sensory ninja who catches you every time you want to be slick.

But I suppose it can go both ways. I'll always be able to hear when my parents are having sex—unfortunately, for literally _everyone_ involved—and there's nothing any of us can really do about it.

So, yeah. In a house like mine, you usually have to do what you can and just hope for the best.

"Raiya-kun?" Tsunade whispered gingerly, looking up at me while I set her down gently.

"Hmm?"

"Ehh, nevermind... I forgot." She stretched her limbs sluggishly, her arms inching to reach the top of the door frame. "I'm gonna light some candles," Tsunade quietly announces as I close the door behind us.

Candlelight comes, bringing with it a divine aroma, like a fluffy airborne duvet for the senses. Seeing my personal space illuminated for the first time in years was very strange for me. My bedroom is large and spacious, tucked away towards the back of the house. When I think about it, I'm strangely fortunate, having my own bathroom, balcony, and view all to myself. Lord Third must've felt regretful about the fire that burned down my childhood home when he put us here. My family's out of the way from most things in the village, which I hate, and it _is_ a shabby part of town. But eight years ago, this area was newly-built and modernized, so he set my family up at the new complex by the graveyard. Losing the farm was a huge blow for my parents, especially Mom, who can't stand to live so close to the Leaf Village Cemetary. She can hardly stand living in the Hidden Leaf altogether, but I guess I don't blame her for that, aside from her not telling me exactly why that is. I miss our old place dearly, but I've long since learned how to adjust.

For the most part, it still looked as I remembered it, but Hime added some of her own personal touches to make it her room as well. By the bathroom door were two large bookcases, full of my extensive manga collection. In front of my most treasured series was a pair of intricately detailed wooden figurines. They were Lady Mito and Lord Hashirama's summons; one a snickering fox with nine unruly tails, and the other a wooden golem. No doubt a gift to Tsunade from her grandparents. Across from the bed was my clunky, outdated TV, the katana that once rested on top missing. In its place was a tall pile of anatomy books.

"Uh, Hime?" I ask, running a finger along the dust where the sleek katana used to be, chuckling to myself nervously.

"Yes?" She didn't look up as she finished lighting the rest of her handmade candles. Red-orange flames flicker in that vulnerable way fire does, its incipient glow being pushed by a breeze from the balcony's partially open sliding door. The tranquil aromas of sage, rosemary, and oranges blossom in the air as the candles give off their warm golden light.

"What happened to my sword?"

_Let's hope she didn't lose her temper and bury it in someone's belly._

Her eyes squinted like she didn't know what I was talking about before recognition crossed her face. "Oh, my bad! I needed a place to put my books because they're too heavy for this thing." She nudged the small tea table in the center of the room with her shin, the surface covered with sketches and homemade jewelry. I watched her suddenly climb my bed, crawling to the headboard to launch a fat pillow in my direction. It hit me square in the nose before I could even think to dodge it.

_Good thing we're not on a mission, holy shit. Drugs sure can mess with your reaction time._

"See?"

Tsunade was holding up my katana in the air, sitting with her legs crossed. Glare from the light made the slick, royal blue sheath gleam in her grasp, looking almost black. I breathed a sigh of relief and grabbed my bag of weed and rolling papers from one of my bags before joining Hime on the bed. I bought a long-handled glass pipe from Takumi Village, but I figured it should be a gift to Sarutobi-sensei.

"You sleep with the sword?"

"Yeah. I gave the stand for it to your dad."

On the wall behind Hime was all the art I've done with my father over the years. I noticed some new additions, and I can just see my dad begging and pleading with Tsunade to paint with him. The unfamiliar painting portrayed a cluster of lily pads resting upon still water. Its composition is curious, as if you're seeing it from the perspective of a tiny frog surrounded by calm water and lush green vegetation. There are several large clumps of colorful water lilies on the surface of the pond. Vibrant arrays of lily pads floated along the water; some were a bright lime, some a soft coral. A purple dragonfly hovered over a halfway wilted pale yellow one. The clear blue sky can be partially seen through the sakura trees and reflected in the water. When I recognized the orange koi fish swimming beneath the surface, I realized Tsunade had painted the pond in my backyard.

The more I inspected her work, the more I realized how proud Dad must've been of her. I've been painting with him for years and never have done anything quite as good as this one.

"This is _stunning_ ," I tell her, in case she wasn't already aware.

"Thank you. I like how it turned out, too," Hime said with a faint smile. "Sanjiro has a way of bringing out the best in people whenever he's teaching. But he did the koi underwater and everything else in the water's reflection. I still don't understand how to paint something semi-translucent. He's _skilled_."

I nod silently in agreement, inspecting the rest of the wall above my bed. One thing that surprised me about Hime was that she'd been living here for almost a year, and she still had yet to take down the 24x36 inch poster of two bikini-clad women lustfully embracing underneath a small waterfall. It was super provocative, which, of course, was why I loved it so goddamn much. A sexy raven-haired vixen was busting out of her black, strapless top as she licked the throat of the other girl. The other girl was my favorite; a blushing blonde girl in a tiny green bikini with small breasts and a big round ass.

"Why is this still up?" I laugh, gesturing to the steamy lesbian display above our heads. Instead of taking it down, Tsunade added a poster of her own next to it: a long-haired hunk with silver hair posing with a sword, his kimono parted to show off a rippling chest. Next to him was a sexy, shirtless monk, posing seductively and stroking the handle of his shakujō suggestively. I recognized the manga that the characters were from, but I didn't particularly enjoy it despite owning every volume.

Tsunade blushed when she looked up at the two women. "I actually... don't... _mind_ it..."

My laughing was cut short. "Wait, what—"

I sat up straight, regarding her with heavy scrutiny. Hime suddenly looked uncomfortable, her red cheeks darkening even more. She absentmindedly touched her index fingers together, avoiding my intense leering.

"It's kind of... _nice_ ," she finished lamely.

"Princess Tsunade... do you like women?" She hid her face with her hands and sighed deeply. "You _do_! Holy shit!" Against my will, my consciousness becomes swiftly bombarded with intrusive images. I pictured a blushing Hime nervously exploring the body of a brazen, inviting kunoichi. I had to bite my knuckle when a vision of Tsunade pinned against the wall—Hayami Hyuga's thigh shoved between her legs as their mouths slowly moved in tandem—was conjured up by my weak brain.

Hime is saying something, but I'm trapped. Too far gone, stuck in a place where words can no longer reach me.

 _Would she be the shy, bashful type? Or is Tsunade a top? Wait... what am I saying? Of course, she's a top; she's a goddamn Senju. I'm betting she inherited all that toppery from Lord Hashira_ —

A loud clap in my face helps me remember where I am.

"I'm trying to come out of the closet, you know! The least you could do is listen, _Baka_."

I knew she was right, but I made the mistake of glancing back up at the picture. Only now, I couldn't regain my bearings, knowing Tsunade would recreate the erotic scene if given a chance. _Holy fuck... Would she be creeped out if I bought her a green bikini?_

" _Jiraiya_! Would you quit _looking_ at me like that?"

I pressed my fingers into my closed eyelids, groaning aloud as I tried to clear my head. Dots and stars bloomed behind my eyelids from the pressure of my fingers. _I can't think...my thoughts... too_ — _loud..._

" _Gaaaaarghhh_! It's just that this is the best news anyone could've given me! Are we sure today isn't _my_ birthday?"

She didn't answer. I opened my eyes to find her gawking at me, looking totally speechless. But I didn't miss the scathing look in those golden orbs. Tsunade reacted quickly—too quick for me when I'm in this savagely horny state of mind. Her fist cracks across my face, snapping it back with the force of her blow. Even knowing what was coming, my head still reeled sickeningly as I waited for the black dots covering my vision to subside.

"Fucking Baka! I _swear_ with you—" She raised her hand again, and I shielded my face with my arms. My teeth clenched tightly to avoid a knockout if she decided to gift me with another hit to the jaw.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" I blurt out in a rush. "I needed that, I can see that now!"

Tsunade lowered her hand, squinting at me with suspicion but ultimately relenting. My cheek stung and throbbed bitterly, but I did my best to hide that fact. Meanwhile, Tsunade, looking very satisfied with herself, grabs a bag of candy off the nightstand, unwraps its purple packaging, and pops one in her mouth as if she didn't just deck me in the face two seconds ago.

"Look, tonight has been full of shock and surprises. You kiss me, declaring that you _like_ me, now you're telling me you like girls, too!" She evaded my eyes, directing her gaze back on the two women as she nervously fidgeted with her frayed kimono. The look of self-consciousness taking over her expression made me feel sick to my stomach. _Way to go, dickweed._ "Please forgive me for being so foul. I actually think it's wonderful that you know who you are. I'm honored you're willing to share it with me. Thank you, Hime."

She cracked a smile. "That means a lot, honestly." She crawled over and hugged me, sighing when I pulled her into my lap. A curtain of blonde hair felt like silk in my fingers. I gathered it all and brushed it over her shoulder so I could rub her back. Tsunade melted against me, nuzzling her face into my shoulder.

"So... how long have you known that you like women?"

"Uh, since birth, I think? I know that I've wanted to kiss Mizuki Uchiha since our first day at the Academy."

"Whoa." _Fucking awesome_.

"Yeah... please don't go telling people that I'm bisexual. I'm not sure what my family will think if they ever found out." I locked my lips and threw the invisible key across the room. "Thanks, Baka-chan." She grinned abashedly, wiggling out of my lap to sit down next to me.

In the middle of the bed was her discarded mythology book, so I took it and poured some ganja on its cover. I separated the stems from the buds, picking them apart and making a tiny little pile of marijuana over Zeus' proud face. We might as well get to rolling before we're too tired to even smoke. It's already dangerously close to 3 am. I revealed to her the intricacies of learning how to roll an enviable joint. Tsunade caught on real fast; she had two bad boys ready to go within minutes.

I lay back on one of my pillows, my hands resting on my chest as I stared up at the ceiling. There was a lone, yellow toad painted up there from when I was 10. It'd been so long since I've zoned out while studying it that I was starting to feel somewhat old. Suppressing a yawn, I turn my attention back to the gorgeous lesbians.

"You know... the whole reason I got that poster in the first place was because that blonde girl reminded me of you." So many nights I spent beating my meat—nay, not beating, absolutely _pulverizing_ my meat—while pretending it was really Tsunade.

 _For the love of all that's holy, do_ not _tell her that part!_

Tsunade started shaking with laughter, hurling a life-size slug plushie at my head. I hugged it and brought it to my chest, wrapping my arms and legs around its fluffy body. The giant, stuffed Lady Katsuyu tipped over and me with it.

"Bet you didn't think I'd grow such huge jugs," she jeered, flipping me off with a little huff.

"Hey, before those _things_ came into the picture, I was an ass man. And I'll have you know I was head over heels for those bee stings you once called breasts."

I winced involuntarily after teasing her, awaiting another punch to the face. Thankfully, she just smirked. "I wonder..." I think out loud to myself, watching her admire her handiwork as she spun an unlit joint between her fingers.

"Wonder what?"

"Are you an ass man... or a breast man?"

Tsunade didn't have to think for long. "Breast man. Both are great, but I've wanted boobs of my own for so long I think I kinda developed a fixation about it."

All the air left my lungs so fast I had to catch my breath before words were possible. "This is by far the best conversation we've ever had."

"Oh my god, shut _up_."

I buried my face into Katsuyu-sama, cackling with unhinged glee as I snuggled her toy while in the fetal position. The mattress jostled me a little as Hime inched herself off the bed.

"You ready to go outside?" Hime asks as she gathers her hair in her hands and ties it up in her usual ponytail. Something told me I should grab an old tattered blanket from the closet for us to lay on.

"I'll meet you out there."

The cool breeze swung her hair around as she leaned against the stone guardrail, gleaming eyes focused on the distant stars. Gratitude flowed through me for being able to appreciate such a lovely night with the woman of my dreams. Her expression of pure serenity as she admired the night sky made my chest tighten, but the feeling wasn't exactly unpleasant.

I suddenly remembered a line I once heard my dad use on my mother, and I couldn't help but try it out for myself.

"You know, Hime? You and I are a lot like the stars."

She smiled to herself but didn't look away from the moon and stars. Shining pearls of nighttime lay beyond us as if cushioned upon pure black velvet. Tonight, especially, was a beautiful night to come home.

"Are we now?"

"Yeah," I breathed. "So close... and yet so far apart."

Tsunade whirled her head toward me, her hip leaning against the stone of the railing.

"Then come here," she says in a honeyed murmur.

In that split second before her touch, every nerve in my body and brain is electrically charged. It's the anticipation of being together in a way that's more than words, in a way that's so perfectly tangible that sets my nerves aflame.

Hardly had I finished closing the distance between us before she practically glided into my arms. My heart pounded faster and faster as Hime's sweet face came up to my own. Vaguely, I wondered to myself if I would ever get used to this; get used to her closeness, her affections. The chilly, moonlit night slightly cooled my flaming cheeks, but there was nothing I could do for my troublesome heart. I suppose Hime will have to start getting used to its constant, rowdy thumping.

Tsunade's arms encircle my waist, her hands flat against the small of my back; fleeting warmth from my skin radiates through the cotton of my thin T-shirt as she fondles me with freezing hands. Mine entangled themselves in her hair that's pulled back at the nape of her neck. There is an entire foot difference in height between the two of us, so her neck might start to ache if I don't help support the back of her head. I barely have any experience with kissing outside of tonight, but I'm at least aware of that much.

Cold, chakra-burnt hands are working their way under my shirt, resting lazily against searing skin. I look down at her dreamily, my heart fluttering again when I earned that toothy grin of hers. She touches my spine with hesitant feather-light caresses, and I sigh fervently at the sensation. Suddenly, as if realizing that this wasn't a dream, I tilted my head down slowly, leaning in to meet her lips with a tender kiss.

Coming home to Princess Tsunade, with her like _this_... my life had suddenly gone in an enchanting but unexpected direction. It's still a path I would readily lose myself on. Who would've ever guessed I'd come back and be showered with love and affection by the absolute love of my fucking life? I could sense the hesitancy leaving her touch as Hime glides her hands from my back to my chest, sweeping her palms up my abdomen and resting beneath my pectorals. Fingertips trace a thick scar below it, giving her pause as she leans away from my mouth.

"Jiraiya, who did this to you?"

I chuckle, but it's cut off with a trembling groan as her nails deftly graze my nipple from under my shirt. The small bud hardens instantly, shocking even _me_ with how sensitive it is—blood pools in my cheeks as I try to hide my reaction to her teasing. _How humiliating. Stop liking that!_

"Someone... dead," I answer, my voice annoyingly breathless. My lungs feel as elastic as old underpants, just sagging pitifully instead of contracting for the next breath.

With an eager wriggle, Tsunade thrust her chest to mine so hard her breath rushes out in a sharp gasp. My mouth swallowed that sound in an instant, my tongue leaving my lips to coax hers out of hiding. Her mouth tasted so good, _too_ fucking good; I grunted and suppressed a sob when she shared the candy taste of her saliva. Hime hugged herself even tighter to me, breaking away from my kiss to coyly palm my erection through the front of my basketball shorts. _Hold on—_

"You're so _hard_ , Raiya-kun," she whispered with fascination, taunting me with the sound of wonder in her voice. Her attentive yet unpracticed touch was setting off fireworks behind my eyeballs. Tsunade's hand didn't cease its rubbing and squeezing, only making me pulse vigorously against her hand.

" _Ahhhh_ ," I groaned, throwing my head back. "I'm so sorry," I panted, my voice embarrassingly ragged. Tsunade giggled and bit her lip, giving me a look that said my apology wasn't necessary.

"You know, I didn't say anything earlier... but you're really _big_ , Jiraiya."

If I thought I was out of breath earlier, I'm practically on the verge of death by now. I'm breathing, but the air just won't go in, like steel rings encase my lungs. Despite that, pleasure blooms and explodes deep within my belly, expanding throughout the rest of my body.

"Huge, actually..." Hime continues as if she isn't actively killing me as we speak. Her grip on my arousal tightened, and I see sparks once again. Tsunade's other hand reached up with lightning quickness to grab me by the chin, wrenching my head down to meet her eyes. Nothing but pure lust was in her stare, no doubt a reflection of my own state. I helplessly watch her face as she slips her hand past the waistband of my shorts and wraps her fingers around my dick.

" _Tsunade_ ," I whine brokenly, my voice a sudden wreck. She seems to revel in our newfound power imbalance. In an instant, her thumb slips, gliding up my shaft with little friction thanks to an embarrassing amount of precum freely dripping from me at her every move.

I moaned loudly, sounding just like a wanton girl.

Tsunade hummed in appreciation. "You're so cute like this, Raiya-kun," she murmurs against my mouth, light and teasing.

" _Please_ ," I whimper desperately, bucking hard against her hand. Tsunade snickered and bit her lip. _Way to sound like such a fucking bottom, Jiraiya._

"So thick and long," Tsunade muttered to herself, that low melodic voice sweet on my ears. Her eyes snapped back up to mine, still holding my jaw in place as she worked me over with her other hand. "But I am not so fragile, remember?" She pinched the tip abruptly, and I nearly blacked out right there. "I don't care how big you are, Jiraiya. I know that I can take it."

At her words, I could feel myself utterly gushing, on the very edge of unraveling with each one of her strokes. Tsunade's hand wasn't gripping me as tightly as I would've liked, but she still used just enough pressure to drive me utterly mad. It was apparent she's never actually given someone a handjob before. Her inexperience was reassuring for me, though. Otherwise, I'd probably cry my eyes out if someone else had been the one to teach her how to do it. Her thumb dragged over the weeping tip once again, and I thrashed my head and wailed. If I had any shame left, I'd probably tell her to stop, that such a salacious act is unbecoming and beneath Princess Tsunade.

But neither of us wanted that.

Tsunade stood on her tiptoes, her lips brushing my earlobe lightly as she whispered. "What do _you_ think, Raiya-kun?"

I wheezed. " _Hnnnnnggg_... About what?" I bit my lip, trying to forget how pathetic my voice just sounded and how much I really, _really_ wanted to come.

Her hand on my face gently pulls my bottom lip from under my front teeth. The pad of her thumb caressed my lip, then swiftly slipped past them to rest flat on my tongue. All I could do was wrap my lips around it and look down at her with dazed, half-lidded eyes. "Don't you think I can take it?"

I quaked, clamping my eyes shut. To be honest, I never thought a girl would ever let me suck on her fingers before. It was so erotic I thought I'd lose it right then and there. I need to turn the tables on her somehow. _And quickly, before you start coming everywhere._

I growled, grabbing her busy arm by the wrist and yanking it out of my shorts. She backed away, looking hurt, and I tried to appear serious as I regained some semblance of composure. Using my speed, I lunged at her and scooped her up roughly by the hips. She squeaked shrilly and squirmed in protest, but I carried her over to the balcony. I lifted her even higher, seating her on the stone railing. She looked down at me in confusion but only shivered quietly as I started to graze her thighs measuredly with my flat palms.

I feigned cool detachment but crumbled when I touched her skin. Something not only stirred within me but ultimately took over my thinking. Nothing mattered but Tsunade Senju, the rest of the world an unimportant blur banished into the far recesses of my mind. The only thing that really mattered was touching her more, kissing her mouth, her neck, the tops of her breasts. I had to rip myself away from her; otherwise, we'd both suffocate.

"To answer your question, Hime, _no_. I do not think you could take it."

Her moans were desperate and feeble as she watched my hand disappear up her robe before being dragged back down to her knee. I repeated this action, watching her mouth fall open hotly. "In fact, I _know_ you couldn't."

She pouted, instantly offended. "Why _not_?"

"Because I'm not giving it to you in the first place."

She swatted my hands from her thighs, just as I was about to make contact with the warm cavern in between them. Now it was my turn to pout.

"You're not going to fuck me?" I shook my head, smirking at her vulgarity. "I thought you... you wanted—"

I cut her off, shoving my thumb in her mouth like she had done to me moments earlier. "I _do_ want to. But you're not ready."

My hand twitched as if it was anticipating her to bite me in retaliation for not giving her what she asked. But Hime did no such thing; she only began a smooth, gentle suction with her mouth. Her hands reached up to cradle my wrist as she gently bobbed her head up and down, sucking my finger prettily. When her eyes met my captivated gaze, I knew I had lost any semblance of power I thought I had over the situation. Her amber eyes were blown dark with desire, and the way they scrutinized me almost caused me to blow my load right there.

Tsunade popped her mouth off it, peppering soft little kisses along my forearm and back up to the wristbone. All the air I had left shudders out of me, leaving me gasping. Without thinking, I shoved my index and middle fingers into Hime's mouth. She takes them willingly, looking so pleased and happy with herself and also with me. Her long tongue wraps around my digits, pulling them in deeper to lave and suck.

" _Fuuuck_ ," I snarled lecherously, in awe at how someone can look so cute and so obscene at the same time. She withdraws them from her mouth, still holding my hand by the wrist, and I'm simultaneously disappointed and grateful. She smiles beautifully at me, and I blink at her, disoriented. Tsunade suddenly opens her thighs wider, purple panties halfway-hidden beneath mesh armor shorts catch my eye.

"Can't you see, Baka? I'm _more_ than ready." Almost as if in slow motion, she slowly drags my hand down, the saliva coating my fingers glistening brighter than the stars above us. The moment my fingers brush up against the wire armor between her legs, I snatched my hand back so fast I almost knocked Hime off of the balcony. I silently thank the gods she is a ninja and not a civilian girl because I practically almost killed her.

"I'm sorry, Tsunade. I just—we really can't do this right now."

Her already annoyed face fell even more. "What? Why not?"

I sighed, stepping in between her legs, snaking my arm around her waist for support.

"It's me. _I'm_... the one who isn't ready yet."

Hime didn't push me away, but she did look crushed and dejected. My left knuckle stroked her cheekbone up to her brow, retracing the path over and over. Slender legs coiled around my waist and tugged me in closer to her body.

"You really aren't ready?"

I nodded my head and chuckled.

"I'm not ready because you have to go on a date with me first."

She blinked rapidly in disbelief. "That's it?"

"Yes, crazy girl," I laugh, hiding my face in her cleavage. She threads her fingers through my scalp and pulls by the roots, lifting my head from her chest. I still didn't stop laughing. "Besides, I can't just fuck you on my balcony! I mean, the full moon and stars are a nice touch, and I do want our first time to be outside. But _not_ on my parent's roof! C'mon, Hime, work with me a little."

She sighs, nudging me backward to hop down.

"I guess I see your point," She mutters begrudgingly. "You do realize we'd have to keep this date super low-key, though, right?"

"Yeah, yeah, your dad's a psycho, I know," I scoffed, putting some extra disrespect for Hiroki in my tone. "As if I couldn't whoop his ass."

Tsunade leaps, perching herself on the roof silently like the shinobi she is. I grabbed the discarded comforter and followed her lead.

"I'm really sorry, Jiraiya. I feel awful for pressuring you so bad. I just—"

"Don't apologize. I'm the one who should be sorry for denying a princess what she wants."

"If that's the case, what's stopping us again?"

I unfurled the blanket, narrowing my eyes at my spoiled love. She just pouted, giving me that look she gives her grandpa whenever she loses all her money gambling. _Hold down the fort, Jiraiya, don't give in._

Tsunade crawled onto the blanket, smoothing its edges before pulling me by the hand to retire next to her. I pulled her into my arms, smirking at her as she rested her chin on my fluttering chest.

 _"Baka,"_ she whined. "I just want to give you everything."

 _Holy shit, do not look into her eyes!_ My mind begs this of me, knowing I'm about to fold and just fuck the shit out of Tsunade. At this moment, they felt more dangerous than coming into contact with the deadly Sharingan of her rival clan. What was even more alarming than the yearning in her eyes was the vulnerable pleading of her soft voice.

Sounds are the portal into my soul as if they were the keys to my safe. From this close, I could listen to every hidden tone of her voice that nobody but me could ever hope to hear. I close my eyes to take in the faint whistle of the wind around us, coupled with her rushed exhale that ended on a whimper. Those simple vibrations were my medicine.

I craned my neck to kiss her again, wanting to feel her vibrations closely rather than merely just listening. She pulled away and gave me a tender look, stroking my bottom lip as she did earlier.

"I want to give you everything, too, Hime," I whisper, my breath fanning her face as she grazes my cheekbone up to my eyebrow with that gentle touch of hers. "If we do this, though, I feel like my parents would never forgive me."

"What are you talking about?"

_Ah, jeez. Why can't you just take my word for it?_

"Look, Tsunade. You don't wanna think about how my mom will know. But she'll _know_. And it won't be good for me, trust me."

Her nose scrunched up when she realized what I meant.

"But I don't get it. Can't we just shower afterward to get rid of the scent?"

My head shook quickly, doing its best not to entertain the thought of sharing a shower with Tsunade.

"It's more complicated than you think. Mom can smell things that we can't even comprehend, like emotions. Getting yelled at by her is an exercise in futility because she knows when my own anger starts to rise. She can sense it and gets even madder. You have to be seriously careful around her; she knows everything about everybody."

Tsunade, for the first time, seemed to consider that I may be right.

"Think about it. My mom is gonna wake up, start running around preparing everything for your birthday. The moment we go downstairs, she will instantly know that I fucked you on my first night back home. My mom will smell bliss, self-satisfaction, and pride coming off of me in waves."

Not to mention... if I somehow fuck this up, she'll smell disappointment, regret, and shame from Hime a mile away. So not only will she be livid I deflowered the village princess, but she'll also know I was terrible at it, too. And there's no coming back from that.

"So you're saying we have to wait until Kagami-sama goes on a mission before we can have sex."

More or less. "Yes. And? What _else_?"

Tsunade rolled her eyes but leaned down to kiss me sweetly. " _And_ we need to go on a date first."

"Good girl," I whisper, capturing her lips once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading! let me know what you think, your input means so much you have noo idea


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